Boobies on the box art are about the only highlight of this game...
Every now and then there is a game that takes a specific genre and raises the bar in everything from gameplay, level interaction, and outstanding graphics. The first-person-shooter genre had Half-Life, strategy had Starcraft, and survival-horror recently received Resident Evil 4. However, Backyard Wrestling 2 is nothing like any of those games; in fact, it’s a step backwards in everything we’ve seen in the wrestling genre over the past three years.
The world of Backyard Wrestling is a collaboration of amateur wrestling leagues that take everything the WWE has perfected, and do a horrible job of imitating it. From the very first minute you boot up the game, you’re introduced to segments of video from past wrestling bouts. If Backyard could reasonably imitate what you see in these videos then you might be in for a treat. Sadly the game is plagued by an extremely simplified fighting engine that is drawn out through a painful, long, and pointless single player story mode.
Career mode, as it’s called, is where you’ll create your own wrestler. One of the first things you’ll notice is the lack of variety in creating a character. You’re restricted to about half a dozen body types (where’s the overweight female model?!) and are given ridiculous choices for things like skin color. When’s the last time you’ve seen someone colored blue or sea foam green? It’s almost as if they were thrown in there simply because Paradox didn’t have anything left to add. The costume choices are limited also and for some reason amongst a dozen-or-so outfits to choose from, three of them are a type of kilt. It all reeks of mediocrity and you’ll get tired with it when you realize your facial choices are restricted to imitating the likenesses of guys named Tony, Kyle, and Stephen.
Once you create your wrestler it’s time to enter the lame-ass story mode. This single-player campaign consists of ten different areas. In each area you’ll complete five missions, which in turn unlocks a different set of missions. Upon completion of those, you’ll unlock the title fight for that area. The missions are normally nothing more than simple functions like performing combo hits or doing grapple moves. Also, unless the mission states specifically that you have to beat your opponent, you can lose or just quit the match all together once you’ve completed your objective.
As you win missions you’re given money which can be used in the shop to buy more videos of bad wrestling or accessories which you can dress your fighter in. Why you would want to dress up in snowshoes, flippers, or a dunce cap is beyond me but Paradox saw fit to throw them in there. Occasionally your road to the white-trash title will be interrupted by cut scenes which try to weave the story into something worthwhile. You’ll be far too frustrated at the repetitive gameplay to even think of completing the career mode though.
As you play the game, you’ll notice that combat is limited to punching, kicking , different grapple attacks, and various weaponry. Fighting in Backyard gets too repetitive though for anyone to stand. You can ignore using timely grapple attacks when repeatedly punching and kicking will work just as well. Weapons are littered around the levels and help mix up the fighting a little bit but not much can salvage the experience. It’s amusing to throw a trashcan over someone’s head and kick them across the yard, but the novelty wears off quickly.
In addition to your basic attacks, you have a number of turbo-activated moves you can perform. When your turbo bar reaches maximum you can perform a super attack on your opponent. You can even reverse grapples and guard-break an opponent but both these functions drain your turbo bar. The main problem with the turbo system is that your bar is constantly filling no matter what you’re doing. Usually these types of bars fill when you actually attack an enemy and successfully use a variety of moves instead of button-mashing the punch combo over and over again. Whether your character is laying a beat down or getting the piss smacked out of him, the turbo bar will still be filling up.
One of the big features toted in Backyard is the “enviro-mental” attack. What this is is level-specific attacks that use the surrounding environment. When you have your opponent in a grapple hold and in the right spot in an area, a special icon will pop up. Upon pressing the appropriate button, you’ll enter a cut scene which will see your wrestler bounce your opponent off fencing, slam his head into the trunk of a car, or even smash beer bottles over his head. These attacks cause a good deal of damage but there’s no real limitation to using them. Because of the damage you can cause with them, it’s entirely possible to do one “enviro-mental” attack after another until your opponent is knocked out. It’s not as if the AI is going to put up much of a fight anyway.
The AI is largely stupid and predictable. There were times when opponents simply climbed up on ledges and jumped to the ground, nowhere near where my fighter was. Most fights can be completed by punching and kicking repeatedly. After the AI takes a certain level of damage though it starts to block your attacks and this can be countered by a guard break or a grapple. The AI is simply a bore to play and you’ll have a better time playing against a second player in the exhibition mode.
In exhibition you can choose from a roster of twenty-five fighters plus five of your custom-made wrestlers. These include amateur wrestlers like New Jack and Vampiro; porn stars Tera Patrick and Sunrise Adams; and where would Backyard be without the Insane Clown Posse who’ve gone from making bad music to making bad games? You’ll have full access to all ten areas to fight in and choosing to play against another human instead of the AI will mix things up a little but not enough for this game to be salvageable.
People have said that graphics aren’t everything and that’s never more apparent than in Backyard Wrestling 2. The blocky characters and shoddy texturing would be adequate, if this were a Playstation One game. The frame rate is consistent but that’s only because flash animations look better. There’s even a glitch where characters will go from writhing in pain on the ground and instantly teleport back into fighting stance. It doesn’t happen often but it’s enough to expose this second-rate patch job for what it really is.
The sound doesn’t fair much better, the voice acting is some of the worst I’ve heard from any licensed game, ever. It’s almost as if they took their voice talent from random people they found on the street. I’ve heard better acting in porno films and that isn’t saying much. There is some licensed music from artists like Andrew WK (who is also a playable wrestler), the Dropkick Murphy’s, and Hoobastank. During the matches however the sound is so muffled from the bad audio quality that you can’t even make out what you’re hearing.
With everything that we’ve seen in the wrestling genre over the past year like WWE Smackdown! Vs. Raw and WWE Day of Reckoning, Backyard Wrestling 2 just can’t compete. Its sub-standard fighting engine is too simplistic to garner any interest. Not only should you not buy this game, but renting should be a last resort when nothing else is available.