A lure that can only attract seaweed and used condoms

User Rating: 5.5 | Classic Dungeon X2 PSP
By Rotondi | Review Date:
A friend once told me that I should read Thomas Pynchon's "Gravity's Rainbow." Well, I took one look at the size of that thing and went right back to watching video-game trailers, telling myself I'd get around to that monstrous story at some point. This is sort of analogous to how I feel about RPG's. I know they're gonna be a big time sucker. Hate me all you want, but if the first few pages aren't rubbing my nutsack the right way, then my philosophy is to dump the thing while I'm still young rather than take the chance that something awesome, like Bruce Willis getting T-bagged, might come 10 hours down the road.

Nothing grabbed me by the Willy, except more of the same junk I'd seen before in old-school RPG's. But I stopped seeing those chicks for a reason. So all your old-girlfriends are still there, leveling up, finding new equipment, buying stuff at shops, talking to strangers, introducing yourself to enemies with a swipe of your long wood. The SNES probably could have ran this game graphically and some of my elementary students could have crafted a better beginning to a story by chopping out words from articles in Playboy magazine.

I'm getting into this terrible habit of seeing the ending before I even start playing: My character jacked up on steroids with enough spells, magic and equipment to start a civil-war and restore peace to an overpopulated city yet to be created by ME by the time I finish. That artificial accomplishment doesn't exactly light fireworks in my underwear drawer like a good wank session does.

出生了在山上，去世了在厕所里

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