An ostrich at a wedding has no place to bury its shlong

User Rating: 5 | Closure PC
By Rotondi | Review Date:
For the most part, there are certain things in this life that turn out just like you knew they would. Like a trip to the grandma's, an afternoon detention or a trip to the can. In gaming, this can be a good thing or a bad thing. In the case of Madden or Fifa, you want that familiar experience. But if your buying the new Assassin's Creed or Halo, you're going to want something different than the last installment. With Indie games, it's sort of a given that the user is looking for something on the unique side. Which is what makes the genre so exciting.

However Closure is just another slab of meat on the ribs, just another packet of gum next to the cashier, just another but in the ash tray, just another bird dropping on the roof of your dad's boat. Get from A to B by solving some riddles and your job is done. The riddles do get harder of course, but so does standing on one leg after two minutes.

I find art to be a funny thing these days, as well as the decision to make a black and white anything in the year 2012. Black and white was cool in a time when black and white was the only option or at least the only practical option. But nowadays making black and white crap is like riding a horse and buggy down the freeway.

Closure is like granola mix with some peach pits and garlic cloves thrown in. There's some good junk in there to eat but it isn't as savory as it could be because there's stuff mixed in that doesn't belong. The story seems interesting enough but the gameplay doesn't burn a big enough fire under my ball hairs to make me give a darn. Puzzles are to easy to solve and the music makes the original Star Trek soundtrack sound like a Grammy winner.

Rice is better eaten out of a bowl than off a plate.

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