Red Alert 3 is a Hubba Bubba type of game - funny, colourful, tasty!
Now the sequel is here and it abandons all claims of seriousness. The latest adventure in the Red Alert universe is more colourful than ever, units speak funny and have goofy looks and the whole overacting in the B-movie FMVs is cheesier than ever. You will realize that you play a different Command and Conquer game from the moment you start the tutorial and see three basic tanks, each from one of the factions in the game, that start speaking one over the other, trying to explain the mechanics to you and shoot each other in order to take the word.
And yes, that was right - three factions! Apart from the well known Soviets and their tesla coils and the warping Allies, here comes The Empire of the Rising Sun (Japan). The introduction of a third race is one of the numerous tweaks that EA have introduced to the franchise in its latest installment. Unlike the half-breed Scrin and their excuse for a campaign in Tiberium Wars, Japan now feels like a full member of the company and has a full-length campaign. Japan has many transforming units and takes its pride in its navy. This is good for them because this time around naval battles are just as widely covered as land ones. In fact most structures in the game can be built on water and many units are amphibious. Even infantry!
Speaking of units, Red Alert 3 features truly the most ludicrous units that can be found in an RTS! Here you will command attack boats with mounted tesla coils that spread legs and start walking when they reach land. There is an air-to-land flying saucer that can dive and become an anti-air submarine, a walking mech that transforms into a jet fighter and by the Gods, armoured bears! It sounds insane, but in fact this diversity is more than entertaining to play with and never too confusing. Most units have just one secondary mode that is activated with the touch of a universal button that is the same shortcut for all special abilities in the game - much preferred than a dozen of abilities on a basic unit, all activated by a different key like in the overrated Warcraft 3.
All units and their abilities are perfectly balanced. There is no useless unit. Everything is good against something and weak against another thing. Ten Apocalypse Tanks have never been more useless on themselves. For example, they can dispose of a whole squad of Japan anti-air support (the VX) in 5 seconds but you hit the "F" key and then the VXs are safely away in the air, pounding on the tanks so hard that most of them will be destroyed before they even get a chance to turn back.
Apart from fast and brutal battles, supplemented by the game's great visuals, Red Alert 3 introduces a new way to play strategy story mode that is so simple, it is plain genius! It's a wonder how no other developer has thought of that before. Simply put, you always play a mission with a fellow commander. "If you don't have real friends", as the game suggests, it will provide one for you in the face of a computer AI. However, the fun begins when you log on with a friend and play through the campaign together. Even Rambo-style missions where you control just one unit all the time could be played with a friend. In one such mission that sticks out, one player gets to control a Conscript and the other one gets to control a War Bear.
Between missions, you will be treated to the same B-movie FMVs that are so emblematic for the Command and Conquer series. It is notable that EA has reached deeper into their pockets now for some not-so-world-unfamous actors. You will see Tim Curry as Premier Cherdenko, Jenny McCarthy as Agent Tanya, George Takei as Emperor Yushiro and my all-favourite Jonathan Pryce as Field Marshal Bingham. There are other familiar faces as well.
Another thing that EA got their money well spent on is the soundtrack of this game and the whole sound setting. I have been impressed by game music many times before, but by far, this is the best game soundtrack I have ever heard and the only one I have ever had on repeat in my car's audio system. Hell's March, combined with the sight of the approaching Japanese fleet in the intro made my skin crawl, remembering long-gone nights in front of the computer and my fingers itched for more Red Alert. Great first impression!
Red Alert 3 is not without problems though, the most notable one being pathfinding. In terms of that, it is a step backwards in RTS history and reintroduces some problems we thought programmers solved long ago.
Friendly AI also seem a lot dumber that the enemy. Fortunately you can issue basic commands to the supporting commander which solves the problem to a degree.
Still, all of the game's shortcomings cannot compare to the game's charm. Red Alert 3 is just sweet! Play it! You won't get to sink an aircraft carrier with a dolphin anywhere else!