A fun update to the Golden Axe-style beat-em-up. It's all button mashing and finding boss patterns. - very old school!
Graphically, the game strikes a nice balance between modern 3D gaming, and the awesome art of Frazetta and Vallejo. Some attempt has been made to make the game appear as a painting, but overall, the effect is subtle, and will be lost on your eyes after a short time playing. The models look and move great, and aside from lots of repetition, it's a decent looking game. The repetition makes sense, as it definitely follows in the footsteps of the aforementioned Golden Axe. What that means is that you will walk into a new area, encounter a new enemy type, and then face around 10-20 of them following each other. If you dig that kind of classic gameplay, you will adore this game. If you are looking for RPG depth, look elsewhere.
There is a tacked on RPG-style leveling element to the game, but it is more on the order of something one would see in a Marvel tie-in type game like many of the Spiderman or Wolverine titles. Yes, your character will accumulate experience points to spend on upgrades, but mostly you will just unlock another button mashing combo that makes Conan a tiny bit more competitive against the hordes of baddies. Still, from an old school perspective, this all makes sense.
The story is a forgettable mess, but Conan doesn't really concern himself with silly political motivations and courtly intrigues. It is abundantly clear that the game is true to the source material, as any other male in the universe is to be killed, every female exists to expose breasts and helplessly coo at Conan, and there are HUGE creatures to battle along the way. Sexist and ridiculous as it really is, that is what the source material has always been about, and the game is as faithful as any presentation, including the tacky but great '80s movies. I wish they would have gotten Arnold to do the voice work, as Ron Perleman is about the most bored voice-over artist I've ever heard in a video game.
Speaking of boss battles, there are some long winded set piece battles that can be annoying, especially when you cannot save on the spot. I don't mind checkpoint save systems, but losing to a boss after spending 10 minutes playing the pattern is frustrating. It's not Ninja Gaiden frustrating (shudder,) but it can rip the motivation to keep playing right out of you. Overall, it's a hard game, but not overly so. It hardly feels unfair once you've figured out how to combat specific enemy types, and it is appreciable that Conan can wield many weapon types, not just a cartoonishly huge sword. It should be noted that there is a magic system to the game, which makes no sense whatsoever, but hey, Conan makes his in-game peace with it, and so did I.
Overall, Conan serves to nostalgically pass a weekend or two with a good old button masher. Waves and waves of bad guys will harry you, interspersed with a few puzzles, some exploration, and a bunch of boss battles. I liked it better than both Darksiders and Dante's Inferno, which would be close analogs to this type of game. By Crom, puny human, go out and track down this bargain-bin fodder for a great button mashing diversion!