A unique, alien-filled, sadistic tale of brain extraction and quantumization.
Because that's what Destroy All Humans! is, a game that's clearly off its own head. You take the role of a large-skulled alien who has landed on Earth to collect brain stems, which in turn will harvest Furon DNA, which will make his race flourish with power and growth, which will... etc. etc. etc. Your name is Cryptosporidium [yes, try saying that fourteen times fast] and you're nothing more than a murder-hungry action-thirsty psychopath. A drone in the Furon empire. So much, that when you die, you become a clone of the previous one. And then the whole thing starts again.
Aliens aren't uncommon in the fickle war-filled universe of gaming, but rarely have they had such a dry sense of humour. Cryptosporidium is impatient and sarcastic, and he kind of reflects my personality. He's the perfect hero for this type of game, which is just a blob of Gorgonzola cheese squashed onto a disk.
It's filled with fifties humour and innuendo, and takes that at heart. Playing as a sicko alien amplifies that perspective; it's just kind of funny when you creep up to a syrup-voiced typical fifties woman who is fantasizing about some sex after the pool party and just disintegrate her into a skeleton. Without any stereotypical passersby noticing! Isn't that great! And then there's this great feature where you read people's thoughts! Isn't that impressive! And there's plenty of other sick things you can do, just for a laugh!
And then there's some great graphics in the game as well, from the sunny town of Santa Modesta, filled with buzzing pedestrians and well-kept houses, and then there's the darker edge of Rockwell, with its packed drive-in cinema and nice little river. It's all dipped in a load of character. And cheese.
And the sound!!! Oh yes, the sound. There's some great spooky music and the voice-overs are top-notch. It all deserves to be packed onto a UFO-adorned disc and put in your CD player.
But then, you know what's missing from this game? An ACTUAL GAME. Most of it is just laughing and marveling at how good the... erm... funniness is. Sure, it's all delightfully presented and dabbed in personality, but underneath it all it's actually quite a boring game. There's no variety of weaponry, and combat is too basic. Most of it is just shooting, nervously flying on jetpack, shoot some more. Wash, rinse, repeat.
So underneath it all it's not the opus that was Mercenaries, and Pandemic's alienated project may as well just be a movie. There's not enough good, compelling gameplay to keep you interested for long, apart from the fact you want more fun and humour. Sorry, but it's not all it's cracked up to be.