Donkey Kong returns to irritate me with the annoying vehicle sections.
The story involve the big ape himself relaxing in his house, when something takes his bananas. Donkey Kong gets mad and pursues, with Diddy Kong as a helper. The alien-tiki things are using the bananas as a power source... Apparently, they've never seen the potato expeirament. Okay, the story is complete ass, but then agian, analyzing the story of Donkey Kong is like analyzing the Mario story. It's pointless, because the story is not what you're in this for, so why do I do it? To juxapose an average game from a great game. This can only be so good with no story, and great games have a story. Anyway, moving on...
The gameplay in many ways is the games biggest asset, and it's biggest flaw. The normal levels are simular to the old Mario games, that is if you were slower, and not as durable. There are a good amount of moves though, and there is a good challenge to these levels. However, some of the challenge comes from not knowing what you can do. There was a specific part where a collectable was in a hole, and DK can't wall jump, so I didn't know what to do, until I found out that if you roll off of a cliff, then you can jump in the air. THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! How in the hell was I supposed to know that? It can't be done in real life, and the game doesn't tell you about that, so how in the flying f@%k are you supposed to know you can do that? So, other than the occasional WTF moment, the regular levels are fun and innovative, and well worth all of the other s#!t I'm about to rake up.
The other gameplay feature is the vehicle sections, and this is where the game s#!ts itself. First of all, one hit death, no matter what. I hate one hit death. Second, you are locked into constantly moving, and it's a lot like those old 2D shooters for the NES which I never liked either for the same reasons. I only like the shooters for the Atari 2600 where you had free range of motion, like Asteroids. Third, they throw a ton of s#!t at you in some of these stages. The stupid, gimmicky bulls#!t starts to turn into more luck than skill in terms of not dying from some random crap flying at you too quickly to react. It gets to be gameshow like from how lucky you have to be. "Welcome to the Wheel of Bollocks! Go ahead and spin the wheel." "Okay." "Ooo. It looks like it's time for meteors pulled from the games ass!" "What? AHHHHHH! I don't wanna play anymore!!" "Oh, grow up, and take those meteors like a man."
Speaking of things pulled from an ass, the entire idea of the damned vehicle sections seems to be crowbared in as back up from gameplay stagnation. Hey, if you can't be clever, be frustrating. It seems to make people ignore how monotonous the rest of the game is. While the rest of the game can stagnate, I'd prefer that to being pull out hair frustrated. I actually couldn't beat one of these vehicle sections, and had to skip it to see the damned ending, and of course, it was one of the stupidest things I've ever seen. SPOILER ALERT: DK gets launched into orbit by the volcano, then he punches the moon into the villian. How f@%king strong is DK? God, if he had that strength in Super Smash Bros., he'd be unstoppable. The god damned moon was punched out of orbit into a volcano, then the volcano erupts to put the moon back. These guys weren't even trying. "Time to spin the Wheel of Bollocks, agian." "Ok." "Alright, you landed on having your intellegence insulted." "Great. Thanks for that." SPOILER OVER.
All in all, this game is fun at times. Is it a great game? No. Is it a GOOD game? eh.... no. Is it a competent game? Yes, it at least isn't painful to play most of the time, and can fill the space. I personally don't like it at all, but it's not terrable. If you enjoy it, then keep doing so, just don't tell me about it.