Ready to Rumble Boxing + SSX dev team = ...what happened?!
Game play:
Similar to all boxing games, some buttons throw punches and other buttons block incoming punches. The purpose of such buttons should be a no-brainer, but just for argument's sake, if you have absolutely no idea how boxing works, here's what you need to know. Punch your opponent, they take damage, hopefully you knock them out, your opponent's trying to do the same to you. Now if you've watched a boxing match, you know that timing, skill and strategy is involved. Somehow the only thing FaceBreaker took out of that was timing, as skill and strategy have gone flying out the window. "How" you may ask? By fighters having unlimited endurance, this game turns standing "games of chess" into button mashing onslaughts.
Speaking of onslaughts, the A.I. is quite possibly the most difficult I have ever experienced. They will constantly come at you with a barrage of punches and repeatedly use the same combo where the last hit will "conveniently" go right through your constant blocking, and trust me, this is how the opponent will deal most of their damage to you. There is a "Parry" ability (at least I think it was called that) that can be used to disrupt an opponent's combo, but it's so difficult to hit, you'll likely take several boxing gloves to the face for your effort, there's also a "dodge" ability that takes some time to get used to, but since your opponent's continually swinging for your face, your thumbs are going to get tired quickly. There's also special moves that are leveled from 1 to 4, and if you manage to hit the level 4, the fight is instantly over as it is an instant knockout, but again, due to the difficulty curve, the likelihood of you hitting this is quite rare.
This game also has a "Create-your-boxer" option with a decent selection of customizable items to choose from, and since this game was produced by EA, they do have their face recognition method in there as well so it can be pretty cool to enter yourself into the game. There's only one problem with this…the game is FaceBreaker…do you really want to subject your likeness to the A.I. abuse?
Graphics:
Despite the shortcomings in game play, this game looks fairly decent but does far from push the limits on what console you are playing on. Unique to FaceBreaker is the face damage that is present throughout the fight as you take more and more damage, your face will become more and more bruised, swollen and warped. Sadly, about nine times out of ten when you notice this, you will be looking at the character you chose so you won't be mesmerized by it, more likely you'll be frustrated by it!
Sound:
As with any arcade game you can imagine, the sounds don't sound 100% realistic, but when you land a punch in FaceBreaker, it doesn't sound like a boxing glove connecting, it sounds more like you got hit with a balloon filled with air (which come to think of it, would explain the size of those boxing gloves.) But other than that, there really isn't too much to say about the sound, as it is quite forgettable.
Longevity:
If we took the difficulty and measured it to a tangible height, it would likely reach at least halfway up Mount Everest, so odds are you will probably play this game for 30 minutes (which is a bit of a stretch), eject the disc and either use it as a Frisbee or target practice if you actually own a gun. I've heard that when you get past the very high difficulty curve, the game actually becomes playable, but not to the point where you'll be coming back to play it a few months later.
In summary, on paper FaceBreaker had everything going in it's favor, but due to terrible game play decisions, what resulted was an underwhelming monstrosity. The only redeeming quality that comes to mind with FaceBreaker was that their advertisements introducing the boxers were hilarious, so find those videos on YouTube, and be done with FaceBreaker, do not buy this game, do not even think about buying this game, do not even think about not buying this game! (Yes, a TF2 reference, I actually needed to think of a good game to keep me relatively sane.) So again, steer clear of FaceBreaker, and you will be happier, and slightly richer because of it.
Quick Review:
Pros:
- You can put yourself in the game
- Advertisements are hilarious
Cons:
- Insanely high difficulty when starting out
- Button mashing and boxing don't go together!
- Miniscule replay value
- Overall poor presentation