Dialogue That Should Have Been In ME1

Taken from the ME community forums...

Try to think of a dialogue between ME1 characters and make sure that it's funny.I'll start...

Shepard:So Wrex,you don't have any balls?

Wrex:Can it,Shepard,I do have balls.

Shepard:Then why would you pay someone to take another Krogan's balls and put them on you?

Wrex:Because they can cure my inverility.The Genophage,Shepard...

Shepard:Yeah I know but,aren't the Krogan's balls useless as well?

Wrex:...

Shepard:Wrex?

Wrex:Shepard. 

 That's a good one lol

I'll try and think of some later; I'm only online for a few minutes now.

 That's a good one lol

I'll try and think of some later; I'm only online for a few minutes now.

N7v1K0

Do it! 

Shepard: So...

Liara: Yes Shepard?

Shepard: So how exactly does it work?

Liara: How does what work?

Shepard: You know... it.

Liara: I am not sure of what it is you refer to. Could you be more explicit?

Shepard: *mumbles at her choice of word* Oh dear.:oops:

Just imagine this after Liara has told Shepard that Asari are mono-gendered or whatever it is that they are. Do you know what it is?;)

Shepard: So...

Liara: Yes Shepard?

Shepard: So how exactly does it work?

Liara: How does what work?

Shepard: You know... it.

Liara: I am not sure of what it is you refer to. Could you be more explicit?

Shepard: *mumbles at her choice of word* Oh dear.:oops:

 

Just imagine this after Liara has told Shepard that Asari are mono-gendered or whatever it is that they are. Do you know what it is?;)

jarofdirt882

Bahahaha, I would have lol'ed so hard if this was in-game...

Want more....

Get.

Shepard,Wrex and Liara in an elevator...

News chap:In other news,it has been announced that our hero,Commander Shepard,can actually die.This move was intended to break the monotony of the main character always surviving through his adventures.But wait...usually main characters die at the end of their adventure so that they can be all heroic and stuff.So you may think that the monotony isn't actually broken but it is!If Shepard dies,he will be replaced by a clone...

Shepard:What?I knew those mother**** wanted to replace me."No Shepard calm down,he's just a stunt-double".Stunt-double,my ass.I'm gonna kill those sons of ****!

Liara:Shepard...are you okay?

Wrex:Uhm...Shepard?

Shepard:...Go to hell,you idiot.

Sheperd: So, Wrex, tell me about how you got those scars.

Wrex: Yo Momma.

Sheperd: What?

Wrex: Yo Momma gave them to me.

Sheperd: Uh... when?

Wrex: Last week. Boy does that b**** like it rough. Best twenty creds i ever spent though.

WREX: Liara what do you think about the extermination of my race.

LIARA: I think its terrible. How could they do such a thing? I hope we find a cure Wrex. I really do. I don't want to go through life with your people's genocide on my mind!

WREX: Liara is it true you can.. you know with any species, because I have an experiment I'd like to...... hey where are you going?!

The BIG desicion....

Shepard: Kaiden

Kaiden: Yeah Shepard (bullets flying in background)

Shepard: uh... yeah, I may actually have a chance to nail Ashley.

Kaiden: WHAT!?!

Shepard: Well, remember how we were talking about my "can't I have both of you" talk?

Kaiden: Jesus, can you make this quick, the squad is getting mowed down!

Shepard: I decided to just throw my chips in on Ashley, because lets face it, does liara even have girl parts?

Kaiden: Shepard you better make this quick... WHATS THE POINT!!!

Shepard: Well, we're not actually coming to bail you out...

Kaiden: YOU SON OF B#$%!!!!! You know your gonna bang like three more chicks before this is all said and done!!!! SHEPA.....

Shepard: Yeah, we must be having a slight flutter from the Artimis Tao Cluster... your breaking up.  Anyway, good luck, buddy, I'll let Garrus know that time you walked in on him in the shower wasn't an accident... hahaha, Just kidding buddy!

Kaiden: ugh, I hate you...

I saw the picture of Shepards real life counterpart on one of the threads and I thought I should put this here also.

A new origin story for Shepard -

"What about Shepard, he was a model grew up in the Netherlands", says Anderson.

"A model? Have you seen fashion these days, he could have some serious emotional scars", says Khoku.

"Every model has scars we just edit them out of the picture", says Anderson.

"I'll make the call", says Udina.

"Yes I have heard you like models", said Anderson.

Well I can't think of any funny ME1 dialogues, but here's something silly I thought up between Tali and LEgion.

Tali: Hayyy there Legion

Legion: Uh.. hello?

Tali: Can you show me your tools?

Legion: I'd be happy to. Here's my wrench, and blowtorch an-

Tali: Nooo! I meant your nuts and your bolt...

Legion: Err... Excuse me?

Tali: C'mon you heard me; don't be shy

Legion: Remember that time my buds slaughtered your kin? Aren't you still angry?

(A curtain opens up. Legion sees Shepard and Grunt behind it with a camera)

Grunt: Hehehe

Shepard: Thanks Tali! That footage was priceless!

Legion: Oh ha ha (sarcasm) that was so funny wasn't it? Batarian smiley :;D