When I was in Baltimore for college, I had a friend there who shared my love of collecting. Luckily, we have somewhat different tastes and our purchases never really overlapped. He tended to like modern import titles while I stuck with classic domestic releases. So we helped each other out, and we'd always order from Lik-Sang together to cut shipping costs.
Back home in Cleveland, I don't really know of any serious collectors. Everytime I go to my local exchange store or EB, the same games are always there. So while this means that new selections are fewer and farther between, it also lets me take my time purchasing. Plus I'm pretty friendly with the guys at my local EB, so they'll hold anything in the back for me if I ask them to.
I'd have no idea if there were other collectors. My town is 150,000 people in the middle of a sprawl of 17 million people, so I'd assume there are other collectors out there fighting with me, but the selection at all the stores I go to is so mediocre it would be hard to tell if anyone is snatching up the good stuff -- because there is no good stuff.
I just read what I wrote, I must be melancholy because it took me 2 and a half hours to drive 27 miles to work today.
If there was someone with the same goals as me collecting-wise, I would definately try to cultivate a friendship with them.
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