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Even though it is a few years old now, I really enjoy RUSE as a good mix of combat and strategy. Best part is it's like $20 now. Plenty of people playing it online.
When you're interested in military, be it history, technical or strategical, you probably want to see real life stuff behaving as it should, not just as graphic sets, so I'd stay clear of Civ and Empire Earth.
Company of Heroes is great but rather a frantic small scale action RTS but really nice attention to detail. I just don't like it because it has the usual RTS letdowns (they are cons for me at least) like, you need to know the best build orders and be able to effectively work at three points on the map simultaneously to get anywhere against anything tougher than the easiest AI, as in Multiplayer. The ones still playing are veterans and will make toast of anyone new to this. It's a lot of fun if you can find a friend or two who is near your level.
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