Girlfriends And Gaming - Official Troubleshooting Thread

Let me begin by introducing the situation that led me into creating this thread, and then describing it`s idea in a nutshell;

Facts)

• I live with my girlfriend in a two-room flat, in general we have a good relationship.
• I love gaming and it`s my way of relaxing, and at home I spend lots of time playing.
• My girlfriend doesn`t like nor approve the fact that I`m playing at all, she thinks low and nags about it 90% of the time I`m playing.
• Issue above has led to the situation where I feel like it`s rare for me to be able to relax while playing, when my girlfriend is at home.
• I always tell her just to tell me if she wants to do something, go out etc, but I get no suggestions, only the same complaining when I return to my comfortable chair of gaming.
• We got a dog and it kept my girlfriend`s mind off my hobby for a while, but now it`s back to square one again.

Assumptions)

• There HAS to be a solution (or ways to improve the situation) for this conflict between women and entertainment.
• There has to be other men too, who are facing the same situation.

This thread is ment for all of you guys out there experiencing the same, to post your ideas and methods for the better tomorrow, where women and games can co-exist.

Please post whatever comes into your mind, concerning the topic!

• I always tell her just to tell me if she wants to do something, go out etc, but I get no suggestions, only the same complaining when I return to my comfortable chair of gaming.

AkTa87

She probably does want to do things but expects you to read her mind. Luckily my girl doesn't care how long I play games. I suggest you just do something spontaneous and romantic once in awhile and give her attention everyday you should be fine.

[QUOTE="AkTa87"]

• I always tell her just to tell me if she wants to do something, go out etc, but I get no suggestions, only the same complaining when I return to my comfortable chair of gaming.

kidsmelly

She probably does want to do things but expects you to read her mind. Luckily my girl doesn't care how long I play games. I suggest you just do something spontaneous and romantic once in awhile and give her attention everyday you should be fine.

[QUOTE="kidsmelly"]

LarsBlaabjerg

She probably does want to do things but expects you to read her mind. Luckily my girl doesn't care how long I play games. I suggest you just do something spontaneous and romantic once in awhile and give her attention everyday you should be fine.

Thanks guys. I do romantic and spontaneous things quite often I think, and it makes her happy for the time being, but doesn`t get her to approve my gaming. You hit the nail in it`s head with she being jealous of my attention, but I already give her so much attention and she keeps demanging for more. I`m not even sure if its about the attention or the mere fact that she disregards gaming so much. And then most of the times when I come up with an idea, and try to do something with her, she is like "naah I don`t like that". And then combined with the fact that she tries to make me feel quilty when I play games, I get the feeling that she wants me to sit still on the couch next to her when she watches TV and updates her status on facebook. I have asked her many times "Why do you need my attention when you are wathing that serie?", she replies "I want you to be with me but games are more important to you." Then when I go next to her and try to be romantic, or whatever, she tells me to be quiet because she is watching TV. :D I mean, lol what`s the point woman? And she is not with me at all when I´m trying to come up with fun stuff to do. (If it`s not partying or shopping.)

But to cut it short; She gets lots of attention from me daily, but still doesn`t accept my gaming. How much is enough? I think she demands more than enough. I usually spend my time at home about50/50 with her and games. I have talked to her about it, in a serious manner, and she conciders it "childish", and she feels shame because her boyfriend plays games.

I have tried to get her into playing too, but she doesn`t even want to try it out.

Wow, it sounds like your girlfriend is an ass. My wife certainly doesn't play video games with me, and she will call me a nerd for doing so, but she's never berated me for doing something I enjoy. You may just want to explain to your girlfriend that it's better that your at home playing games than sleeping around with other women. And, if she wants to go out, then she needs to suggest some things to do, and not expect you to read her mind. There are few times in a relationship that the man gets to take the high ground. But, in this case buddy, you go it. Make the best of the situation to put your foot down.Canvas_Of_Flesh

Yeah the way she`s behaving sucks, and I have discussed it with her but without results, leading nowhere. It consumes my time and is immature, she says.

Wow, it sounds like your girlfriend is an ass. My wife certainly doesn't play video games with me, and she will call me a nerd for doing so, but she's never berated me for doing something I enjoy. You may just want to explain to your girlfriend that it's better that your at home playing games than sleeping around with other women. And, if she wants to go out, then she needs to suggest some things to do, and not expect you to read her mind. There are few times in a relationship that the man gets to take the high ground. But, in this case buddy, you go it. Make the best of the situation to put your foot down.Canvas_Of_Flesh

There's nothing wrong about caring for the feelings of your partner, but it must be reciprocated. It sounds like she doesn't care a whole lot about her partner's feelings. When you reach a stalemate, and just talking no longer helps, then you need to try a different tactic. If she's that offended by his hobby and is trying to make him give it up, apparently she's not too concerned with how happy he is. It's one thing if he's neglecting her, but it doesn't sound like he is. She pretty much just wants a slave boy. She wants her wants and needs catered to without having to worry about doing the same for him. Your best bet is to forcefully (not physically) talk to her and see if you two can resolve anything. If not, then maybe it's time you think about calling it quits. Like I said before, my wife may not agree with my choice of hobbies, but she definitely doesn't try to keep me from enjoying them, and occasionally she's kind enough to sit down and at least TRY to play games with me. Canvas_Of_Flesh

[QUOTE="AkTa87"]

• I always tell her just to tell me if she wants to do something, go out etc, but I get no suggestions, only the same complaining when I return to my comfortable chair of gaming.

kidsmelly

She probably does want to do things but expects you to read her mind. Luckily my girl doesn't care how long I play games. I suggest you just do something spontaneous and romantic once in awhile and give her attention everyday you should be fine.

[QUOTE="Canvas_Of_Flesh"]Wow, it sounds like your girlfriend is an ass. My wife certainly doesn't play video games with me, and she will call me a nerd for doing so, but she's never berated me for doing something I enjoy. You may just want to explain to your girlfriend that it's better that your at home playing games than sleeping around with other women. And, if she wants to go out, then she needs to suggest some things to do, and not expect you to read her mind. There are few times in a relationship that the man gets to take the high ground. But, in this case buddy, you go it. Make the best of the situation to put your foot down.LarsBlaabjerg

By doing this you may get 2 great things. A better relationship and the makeup sex.

Yeah, you have to get her involved somehow. show her games that she might be interested in. start with story heavy games, hell show her some of these trailers. if she is into watching tv shows or movies, one of the games is bound to get her attention. show her the uncharted 2 trailer, or the new Heavy Rain trailer.

if it doesnt work out then next time, get a girl who at least understands gaming is your sanctuary, ur hobby. and if she cant accept that, then she prolly isnt the girl for u. u shouldnt have to feel guilty about gaming.

I didn`t expect this much help, thank you for your great posts. It may be sad but true that she may not be the most perfect girl for me looking at this topic, actually when I got home from work couple of hours ago and booted my computer as usual, it took like 5 seconds from her to notice it and start nagging. And now she`s going out with her friend and I`m not even invited because I "rather play games". I just don`t understand this, im going to videotape this ***** and create a comedy-show. Well, I`m too tired to go out anyways, and atleast I can relax after working the whole week.

I`m really not going to break up with her, because I love her and besides that we just moved into a new apartment. Maybe I should encourage her to meet her friends a bit more. I just talked with my father on phone and he said that it`s luxury-time for him too everytime my mum is out for the night lol.

I have to come up with suggestions and ideas for her and really make her sit down and listen I quess. I just know beforehand that she`s the type of girl who doesn`t listen, she needs to realize. Maybe I should tell her that everytime she nags about my hobby, I spend the rest of the day silent ignoring her for good. But it would just hurt the relationship, so maybe not.

And about getting her involved in games, I have tried it but she refuses to touch the pad no matter what. Only game I ever got her to try was Crash Bandicoot, and her intrest lasted for 30min. And it was a long time ago before her nagging was problematic.

I don't think you need her involved, rather I'd suggest try to help her understand that this is a hobby you like to pursue. As a couple, you two need to spend time apart. If you're always doing activites together, you won't really have anything to talk about other than how work was that day. She should try to pursue her hobbies, and while she's doing that you get to play. Afterwards, you can give her your undivided attention.

It's a difficult situation, alright. But that's the nature of human relationships. You might consider having a long, serious talk with her, in which you explain what gaming means to you, and its importance to you as your favorite pastime. Make sure you're not neglecting her by dedicating an awful lot more time to gaming than to do things together, if that's the way you both roll, but be firm in the notion that your hobbies are not subject to her approval.

Make some time to spend with her. Maybe when you get home go with her and the dog and go for a walk.

Also let her know that it is your way to relax instead watching TV - maybe she thinks you are chatting to ppl online rather than playing.

Thanks for your help ppl. Actually yesterday when she was out with her friends, things didnt go quite well and when she got home at night, feeling really bad, she apologized for everything, and we had a talk about it. Today things have been ok, I actually played for 3 hours without hearing any negative comments, and she even cooked for me. I hope it`s not just because of the last night tough. I`m taking her out tonight to watch a movie and have a drink in a nice place. :)

Sounds like a stalemate. My girl is the same way, in terms of needing attention, but I don't complain about what she does and vice versa. I think there's no chance of winning unless you were me (which your not) in which I would nag about facebook or watching TV, saying how "mind numblingly boring" they are. Then I'd take up a new hobby, one which she couldnt stand or that annoyed her so much she'd encourage me to play vid games. I'm thinking along the lines of some educational reading material.. Playboy, Penthouse.. the works :)