Having a kid... worried about my gaming future!

This will bore some of you, but I'm hoping to connect with some of you who are in my shoes, or have already been in my shoes. Let me start with a little history about myself...

I'm 34 years old, married for 3 years, and my wife and I are having our first kid in a couple of months. I've been gaming since before the age of 10 on the Atari 2600. From then it was on to the NES, Sega Genesis, and then the PS1, PS2, and now the PS3. I've literally been gaming for 25+ years. During those years I would go through phases where I played tons, and then phases where I just played sometimes, but gaming has always been a constant in my life in one way or the other. I know that there are many other mid-30 year olds who have followed this exact same path.

As far as the amount of time I spend gaming per week, I know that I don't come close to the teens and 20 year olds that can put in 30+ hours a week, but I still manage to put in a decent amout of time depending on what I'm playing. I'm very particular about the titles that I buy, and once I start a game I don't play another until I have finished it. When I'm playing a new title, say on a typical weeknight, I usually only manage to get in about 1 or 2 hours of gaming after work, and on a lazy saturday or sunday, I may play for a 3 hour block every now and then. When I got Assassin's Creed last November, I played that game more than my typical schedule because I was so into it and I would get sucked into these longer sessions. Also, I was playing it over Thanksgiving weekend, when I had a lot of time, so I would sit in my office and play AC while my wife watched tv in the bedroom and napped. When I first got Motorstorm, I would play every day, but sometimes only for 1/2 hour or an hour. I would run a few races and put it down, go and eat dinner, come back and run a race, whatever. I got Uncharted for christmas and finished it the first time through in a few days because I was on vacation from work that week and I could play for 3-4 hours a day. Again, it depends on the game that I'm playing and what else I've got going on. Sometimes I finish a game and the next title that I want doesn't come out for a few weeks and I don't play anything for those few weeks. It just depends. I do have other hobbies and interests in my life and it's just not gaming by any means.

My problem is with the fact that in 2 months I'm going to be a father. I do not want to sound like some total jackass that feels like gaming is more important than having a child, and I do not want anyone to think that is what I'm saying. That is absolutley not the case. Having this child is very important to me, but so are my hobbies, gaming included. But everywhere I turn, everyone that I talk to, all I hear is about how I'm never going to have one free second to myself ever again in my life and that having a kid takes away all of your time. So many people have told me that I might as well say goodbye to my "video game" playing because I'm never even going to be able to get a good nights sleep anymore, let alone have time to play games. It's almost like people enjoy telling me that I'm never going to have any more free time and that I'm never going to have time for hobbies anymore. Everything is negative. Now I'm not stupid. I know that it is going to be a huge shock for my wife and I once this baby is born. I know that it is going to consume massive amounts of time and that my life is never going to be the same again. I realize this. But all I'm looking for is someone to tell me that they've gone through this and that it's not as bad as everyone makes it out to be. If I can manage to get in a couple of nights a week, say for 2 hours, and maybe a saturday or sunday for a couple of hours, I can pull off almost 6-7 hours a week. Most games these days are only about 10-15 hours long, so I could still complete a title in about 2 weeks. But then I'm sure that there will be some weeks when I can't play at all, and I accept that. I accept the fact that it's probably going to take me 4 months to finish the supposed 100 hour GTA4, and that's fine. I accept the fact that later in the year, when RE5, Resistance 2, Tomb Raider Underworld and Motorstorm 2 come out, I may not be able to play them all right away. I may be backlogged with my titles and not get to some of them for a while, but that's fine. As long as I get to play a little each week, that's fine.

Another thing that bothers me is when friends of mine, or people I don't know tell me that a 34 year old man should not be playing video games anymore anyways, once I have a kid. They say that I'm too old for that. People that don't really know about games have no clue. It's something that I've been doing for 25+ years. It's just part of my life. I don't see myself voluntarily stopping anytime soon. Some people work on their classic cars as their hobby, some people read a book every night, well this is what I do.

So basically I'm just looking for some hopefully positive reinforcement or support from other people out there who are in my shoes. Someone who is married, and has a kid, and has a life, and can still sqeeze in a few hours of gaming here and there. And again, I am very happy to be having this child and moving on with this phase of my life so I do not want to sound ungrateful. I just don't want to be forced to give up something that has been a part of my life for sooooo long, and that has brought me uncountable nights of fun, excitement and memories. I have had some amazing gaming experiences over the years that I will remember forever (like almost pooping my pants when the hell hound crashes through the hallway window in RE1) and I know that there are many more to come. I'm just not ready to call it quits yet...

I don't have a kid so I can't give any reinforcement there. But one good thing is it won't be long until they get to the age where they start playing too. A guy here at work has three kids, and he has a PS3, xbox360 and a Wii. He says his favorite thing to do each day is to come home and play games with his son. He doesn't have any M-rated games in the house, but he still gets a good amount of time to play. I imagine that you will have to pretty much sacrifice a great deal of your playing time, but I can't imagine there's not going to be downtime where you won't be able to squeeze a game in.

People of all ages play games; my uncle's in his 60s, just retired and complains about getting owned in Halo by 13-year olds on XBL. So I think that gaming will always be there if you want it to be. I think having a child is a great thing though. I'm starting to get near that age and am beginning to wonder if playing games is worth it, wondering if all the time I spent was time well-spent, etc, and thinking I should worry more about starting a family or similar accomplishments instead of trying to get the Mile High Club in CoD4. So it's better imo to be moving into family mode instead of worrying too much about games. Maybe one way to look at it from a gaming perspective is as the end of one phase of being a gamer and the transition into another. :)

When I had my kid... well my wife did... I lost a lot of game time. As the kid ages your time will go back up though. I remember around the time of delivery I had no time to game. When my kid was really young I had a little time to play but now that he can crawl around and he's got designated time zones for naps I can get in a little more gaming. When we think he's ready for day care... Yay gaming!

just keep your priorities straight, and don't think of it as a chore or your responsibility...

you definitely don't wanna miss a minute of your kid growing up just to play video games...

just keep your priorities straight, and don't think of it as a chore or your responsibility...

you definitely don't wanna miss a minute of your kid growing up just to play video games...

1fast6

I completely agree. My brother had a boy about 3 years ago, and he's the one who introduced me to it 17 years ago. He was a gamer before, and still is. The little guy is already king of the Wii, and my bro can still kick my ass in Halo (I play waaay more than he does..). Yes he had to cut back his gaming a little bit for the first year or two, but by no means has he called it quits. Like evrybody else said keep your priorities striaght and you'll be gaming for the rest of your life.

There will be a drop-off in your gaming time. Trust me. I became a father almost 2 years ago, and it wasn't until the last 6 months until things kind of got back to normal for me. During those first few months, your free time will be spent sleeping. Once your kiddo starts sleeping then you'll get some time back, but by then he/she will be able to start rolling around. I'll just say that the first year of your kid's life just stick with the DS. If you still want to game you're going to need something that you can turn off and on at a moment's notice.

Here's the funny thing though. Once the kid comes, you won't miss videogames too much. Every now and then you'll want to play just to relieve some stress, but overall you'll be too caught up and amazed by your little one.

There will be a drop-off in your gaming time. Trust me. I became a father almost 2 years ago, and it wasn't until the last 6 months until things kind of got back to normal for me. During those first few months, your free time will be spent sleeping. Once your kiddo starts sleeping then you'll get some time back, but by then he/she will be able to start rolling around. I'll just say that the first year of your kid's life just stick with the DS. If you still want to game you're going to need something that you can turn off and on at a moment's notice.

Here's the funny thing though. Once the kid comes, you won't miss videogames too much. Every now and then you'll want to play just to relieve some stress, but overall you'll be too caught up and amazed by your little one.

Robio_basic

Butter-cheese

Take note of the highlighted sentence, because it is the truest sentence you will ever know, and when your little one pops out you are going to be so besotted with them that everything else becomes second-fiddle.

Anyhow, the first thing I suggest is don't listen to anyone else, every child is different and no one person's experience is the same as the next, I became a father 7 months ago and we seem to have been very lucky, she only every waked once or twice in the night and since 2 months old she has slept through for 12 hours, so like I say, don't listen to anyone else and get your own routine settled.

Now, you "will" miss not being able to switch on the console and play for 2-3 hours, but believe me you won't miss it as much as you think, all you have to do is pick and choose 1 to 2-hour slots when you "know" that baby will be asleep or amused. The trick is don't "expect" to get that hour or two, because if you expect it you frustrate yourself when it doesn't happen.

The only thing I can say is have no expectations presently, you may have the golden child who sleeps well and is generally content, however you may have one that only sleeps in 2 hour chunks and never lets you sleep, until you know there's no point expecting anything, because all kids are very different. The only thing I can say for certainty is that by 6-9 months old you will all be in a very good routine and you will be able to slot your gaming into that routine.

Just to end on a high note though having a child is the best feeling in the world, so don't be too surprised if you don't even gaming a second thought, my interest is going downhill for gaming, but not because I have no time for it, it's just that it goes down in priorities.

Congratulations btw, you will feel very lucky when he/she arrives, and you will experience true love all over again. :-)

Speaking from experience...I've had 2 children and with both, yes, I lost a lot of "free time". However, I was so amazed over our new ones that gaming (or any other "leisure activity") wasn't really at the front of my mind. And I was soon able to establish enough of a routine where I had five minutes, or even an hour or two, to have "my" time.

So yes, for a while, you will lose some of your gaming time. But like previous posters have said, you probably won't miss it and sooner than you think, you'll start to gain it back. Little ones do sleep sometimes, I promise. And as they get a little older, they might even want to watch you play (well, mine do).

Your gaming future isn't ruined. You'll get it back and even before you do, you may not even realize it's gone. Having a child will be amzing enough.

You just need to be patient. When it's first born as a baby, you'll have to give it's attention to the baby, but maybe once it grows older, and supports gaming, you can go ahead and play. It might look up to you in gaming.

Also, good luck.

My daughter just turned 1 so I know what you are fixing to go though. You will be so tired the first few months you won't even care about playing games. Maybe you'll get lucky like we did at around 4 or 5 months. That's when she started sleeping though the night. I just had to rearrange the gaming schedule around her. When the baby goes to bed around around 9 o'clock that's when daddy's game time begins. I'm tired as hell at work everyday but at least I still get some gaming in.bshanholtzer

Get a DS or PSP. Play at work. :D

[QUOTE="bshanholtzer"]My daughter just turned 1 so I know what you are fixing to go though. You will be so tired the first few months you won't even care about playing games. Maybe you'll get lucky like we did at around 4 or 5 months. That's when she started sleeping though the night. I just had to rearrange the gaming schedule around her. When the baby goes to bed around around 9 o'clock that's when daddy's game time begins. I'm tired as hell at work everyday but at least I still get some gaming in.mike7677

Get a DS or PSP. Play at work. :D

That's one of the things I did. Lunch hour officially became the "Phoenix Wright Hour of Power."

[QUOTE="mike7677"]

[QUOTE="bshanholtzer"]My daughter just turned 1 so I know what you are fixing to go though. You will be so tired the first few months you won't even care about playing games. Maybe you'll get lucky like we did at around 4 or 5 months. That's when she started sleeping though the night. I just had to rearrange the gaming schedule around her. When the baby goes to bed around around 9 o'clock that's when daddy's game time begins. I'm tired as hell at work everyday but at least I still get some gaming in.Robio_basic

Get a DS or PSP. Play at work. :D

That's one of the things I did. Lunch hour officially became the "Phoenix Wright Hour of Power."

I already owned a DS, but what I found after having a kid was a lot more time spent on it on the toilet, I completed Zelda:PH just by playing for half an hour each day on the bog. :D

I also found picking one console this generation has helped, then I wouldn't get too tempted into buying loads of games that I wouldn't have time to play.

[QUOTE="Robio_basic"][QUOTE="mike7677"]

[QUOTE="bshanholtzer"]My daughter just turned 1 so I know what you are fixing to go though. You will be so tired the first few months you won't even care about playing games. Maybe you'll get lucky like we did at around 4 or 5 months. That's when she started sleeping though the night. I just had to rearrange the gaming schedule around her. When the baby goes to bed around around 9 o'clock that's when daddy's game time begins. I'm tired as hell at work everyday but at least I still get some gaming in.Mantorok

Get a DS or PSP. Play at work. :D

That's one of the things I did. Lunch hour officially became the "Phoenix Wright Hour of Power."

I already owned a DS, but what I found after having a kid was a lot more time spent on it on the toilet, I completed Zelda:PH just by playing for half an hour each day on the bog. :D

I also found picking one console this generation has helped, then I wouldn't get too tempted into buying loads of games that I wouldn't have time to play.

Yeah I did the same thing. I own a Wii, that's it, not getting anything else. And frankly I can't even keep up with all the games I want to play on that.

[QUOTE="Mantorok"][QUOTE="Robio_basic"][QUOTE="mike7677"]

[QUOTE="bshanholtzer"]My daughter just turned 1 so I know what you are fixing to go though. You will be so tired the first few months you won't even care about playing games. Maybe you'll get lucky like we did at around 4 or 5 months. That's when she started sleeping though the night. I just had to rearrange the gaming schedule around her. When the baby goes to bed around around 9 o'clock that's when daddy's game time begins. I'm tired as hell at work everyday but at least I still get some gaming in.Robio_basic

Get a DS or PSP. Play at work. :D

That's one of the things I did. Lunch hour officially became the "Phoenix Wright Hour of Power."

I already owned a DS, but what I found after having a kid was a lot more time spent on it on the toilet, I completed Zelda:PH just by playing for half an hour each day on the bog. :D

I also found picking one console this generation has helped, then I wouldn't get too tempted into buying loads of games that I wouldn't have time to play.

Yeah I did the same thing. I own a Wii, that's it, not getting anything else. And frankly I can't even keep up with all the games I want to play on that.

Yeah me too, I've got about 5 games on the go at the moment, sometimes I'll get a sizable chunk of gaming time in and reel them off quickly, but at the moment I'm just playing steady.

I havent had the pleasure of becoming a father (still a very long time ahead) but I can understand your feelings.

But I think you will be too busy playing with your child that you will literally forget about videogames for a while. As we get older, responsibilities increase exponentially and we feel we dont have that freedom/luxury to do whatever we want as we did in our teens/early 20s.

Having said that, I am sure you will get time to play games but your child will be the best thing that ever happened to you

All the best for everything :)