How to convince people videogames are a proper hobby?

I'm a 14 year-old girl and since I was in kindergarten I loved Gaming. Especially in the last 2 years I started playing more games. The problem is, everytime I want to buy a new videogame, I have to ask first my mom and then my dad for permission to do so. If I would have to just ask my dad, that wouldn't be much of a problem, but my mom is convinced, that I'll spend even more time on my PC than before, if I buy more games. (Which is not true, I'll just spend the time on my Pc differently) I think her concerns come from my social life, not school, since I only have A's and sometimes B's, and that's not going to change just because of videogames. I have three good friends, but we don't hang out much, mostly we talk over Skype or Whats App and in school. And besides, I don't spend that much time on my PC, I read ALOT and I make music with guitar, piano, etc., too.

She could also think like that, because I'm female and gaming isn't really a 'feminine' thing to do.

My mom always ends our argument with the statement "Go meet up with different people, you'll like it.", which always confuses me. My mom usually knows me really well, so she should know that I'm an extreme introvert and making new friends is nearly impossible for me. I can talk to people, but there's a certain line, that I can't cross, like hanging out outside from school.

Also, videogames are really fun for me and I honestly couldn't live without them, it allows me to be a different person than I really am, and I consider videogames an interactive art form.

Next year I'm going to a programming class and my mother thinks I'll spend EVEN MORE time on my PC. She always says things like "Oh, that's the reason you want to take computer classes", but I think she only does to mock me. Not really sure, though.

How could I tell her all of my thoughts so she'll understand?

Sorry for any mistakes, I'm from Austria and English is not my first language.

Why should one need to justify his/her hobby?

Welcome to the site.

Part of being an adult is realizing you don't really need to justify your actions to people (barring the illegal or unauthorized ones), and enjoying the freedom that comes with that; you're 14, it's time to start developing into that emotional maturity and more or less "not care" what others think. That doesn't mean you get to be a jerk, it just means you should be free to indulge in things you want to.

With that said, you're still under your parents' house and therefore their rules so it's necessary to respect them. So be courteous to your mom. It's important for her to understand that computers and technology are a critical part of the modern world, and that taking classes in programming and being computer literate is critical--and being computer proficient is an advantage--and can give you an advantage in a career.

Furthermore, as a woman, you have a major advantage being interested in the tech field because A.) not a lot of women in tech, and B.) companies want to hire more women into tech. Tell her that; it's a lucrative path to both a good salary and job security, not to mention a good career in general (there are a lot of people on this site that could tell you more than I could about that).

Concerning social aspects and "feminine" perspectives, are there any gaming clubs where you live? I know in Europe PC gaming is a lot more popular than in the states, and LAN parties are still pretty active and so forth. Does your school have a gaming club? Maybe you can make one? Do any of your friends game? And as a guy, I know I would have killed for a lady friend (non-romantic or otherwise) in high-school to game with, and I am sure any other women would welcome the company as well.

You don't.

@sleepingklara: I don't really lose myself in a game in the same way as yourself, so don't know if my words will be helpful. To me it's less of a role and more a grips with what the developers have handed me, and I like an interactive challenge and care to detail.

As much as you can enjoy games do not try and make it a lifestyle; unless you intend to do so as a career. It very well may be more trouble than you bargained for. And will only make you resent gaming in the long-run.

Like some have pointed out however. Enjoying games does not need to be justified, you are who you are, and enjoy, what you enjoy.

It's as simple as that.

Yet just remember all in moderation.

Welcome/ Take care/ and happy gaming_

Hang out with people who like you for who you are.

Just get older. It's easy: you just wait a while and it happens. The older you get, the less it matters how your parents feel about your behaviors and decisions.

forget waiting until next year, start programming now. you'll be good at it and going off your interests and hobbies you'll probably love it. it's young people like you that'll be building the next watsapp in five years. play video games between coding sessions

Hi SleepingKlara and welcome to the forum.

First of all, your English is fine and you don't need to apologize for it. Half of the users on this forum who are twice your age and for whom English is their first (if not only) language generally can't write as well.

As for your problem, I'm afraid I don't have a lot of great advice. My wife had a similar situation with her mother when she was younger. Her mom is very extroverted while my wife has always been more of an introvert and her mom never really understood that. She always thought it was just that she needed to be pushed more to make friends, which caused my wife a lot of stress when she was younger. Her mom never got that my wife wasn't just like her and didn't have the same needs.

I wish I could tell you some magic phrase that would help, but my wife and I turned 40 this year and her relationship with her mom (while better) is -still- kind of like what I described. The only thing I can recommend is trying to compromise with her (even if it's unfair) for now until you're old enough that the decision is yours alone (which is only a few years away).

Beyond that, do whatever makes -you- happy and don't worry about what others think.

-Byshop

I remember feeling the same way when I was 14 (back in 2003). It was WAY less acceptable for girls to be gamers back then and I caught a lot of **** on forums. However, I got the point where I realized that no one should be judging another’s hobbies. I just don’t care if I get judged for any of my hobbies anymore.

I think going to a psychiatrist could help. Being an introvert is not wrong, it's just different, but people usually don't know it, so they may need a professional telling them why it is so. Pushing people to be more sociable actually produce worse results.

I was pretty insular back in high school (if you can call it that), and I got a bit more extrovert after through college, but I understand stuff like that really doesn't happen often, and my case simply just cannot translate to yours.

Stick to what Black Knight says. Your mom's right about one thing, meeting new people. But keep in mind, not all new people you are going to meet in the future are similar to what you do in a daily basis. I'm also an introvert :D cuz back in my childhood days, the neighbors aren't COMMUNITY friendly cuz they are always tangled with bad things in general. You can meet up with people who will like you for who you are*quotes on you @Black_Knight_00* cuz not all people befriend other people for the essence of having a "friend". People nowadays are getting rough. And also, you picked the right class, child. Computers today is changing, be part of it. Unlike some of the jobs I took before, they stayed the same. Unlike taking on computers or programming, you will learn new things that you will never learn in a daily basis. Before I was a rookie programmer, I never thought that logic is only for computers. Now, logic applies to all :) keep learning, little bud :D

You're 14 and you are still living with your parents. I'm not trying to be an ass but their house, their rules. They are still supporting you in basically everything so...well i'm just saying this so you understand and appreciate the real situation that you are in.

Number 1, you admit that you're an introvert. I was too (and still are to a certain extent). Are the games a form of escapism from you? You must know that its very VERY easy to let addiction to games overwhelm your life, even though you feel like you won't let it control you. Thats what I thought to and i didnt even realise it when i began to waste too much of my life on it. Just be honest to yourself on that. Most games nowadays are designed to entice people to spend hours on them, thats the truth.

Number 2, your Dad. Talk to your Dad and ask him to talk to your Mom. Sounds like you have a good understanding with your dad so...use allies! :D

Number 3, consider what your mom said. "Meeting new people" is really not a bad thing! seriously. It can turn to your advantage...like finding people with the same interest as you! :) Gaming isn't like it as 20 years ago, everyone games nowadays. I mean what used to be an almost exclusive boys club, nowadays its normal to find girls that also plays games as their hobby. So give it a shot.

Number 4, how bout a future aspiration to have a computer/IT-related profession as a career? Then you can justify to your mom why you need to spend time on the PC more. Plus it'll ease her into accepting that having her daughter spend more time on the PC isnt a bad thing at all. Do a bit of research, the computer/tech related industry is extremely wide in scope and field and you ust might find something that interest you.

Number 5, this is the real solution that almost 100% works. You. Get. Older. Period. Trust me, 4-6 years from now, even if it takes a little later than that, you will outgrow your parents' restrictions. All these problem you think are insurmountable, won't even be an issue for you. Honest. You know it when you get there. So just relax and focus on maintaining a good balanced life. I think you are already doing ok so keep it up!