I forgot the movie. Wrote this February 2023.
https://i.imgur.com/Qoav9Ij.jpg
Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001)
American Angelina Jolie fakes an English accent and Englishman Daniel Craig badly fakes an American accent. There's so much to make fun of. The dumb padded cups she wears (pictured above) to make her boobs look more like in the games, the lack of weight in how she flips around and stuff (Well, that part's half and half good and bad for me.), how the characters just know how some ancient magical device (that are all dumb) is gonna work with seemingly no set up, how she showers like she is in a music video.
She doesn't do any "tomb raiding" until about 45 minutes into the movie and we don't even get to see her do that alone. She is always with the bad guys (Illuminati), so there's not that escapist solitary adventure mood you would expect from a movie based on these games. Why wouldn't you open a movie about an adventurer on the field? Establish what they are and what they do right off. Instead, we start with her fighting a training super robot in her own mansion. Apparently, "tomb raider" is a term used to refer to various people in her profession. Daniel Craig's character is one too.
Filmmakers excessively focused on the combat, to the point where they needed to give Lara this ridiculous ammo magazine rail that comes out of the bottom of her backpack somehow. I thought they weren't gonna go with the women can fight anyone barehanded thing, but towards the end she beats up the bad guy, Jorah Mormont from Game of Thrones.
I wanna know who these people are that find the thing with Lara's father interesting. Why do the stories have to keep centering on her father? Who cares? Just keep her mysterious, like so many quiet male heroes in movies.
Did they steal one of the last scenes from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade? Jorah Mormont throws a knife at the Daniel Craig character and then tells Lara to use the time traveling device to save him. Indiana Jones had to get the cup to save his father, after bad guy shot him and told him what to do.
How she turned the knife frozen in time around and the music to that scene was kinda cool. Some of the fighting with the intruders in the mansion wasn't bad.
Poor movie that thinks it's cool.
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