zero punctuation: Yahtzee compares Sim City to Nazi Germany

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Iga_Bobovic

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#1 Iga_Bobovic
Member since 2007 • 518 Posts

Sim City Societies

Call of Duty 4

Umbrella Chronicles

Witcher

Crysis

Silent Hill Origins

Super Mario Galaxy Review

mass effect review

zero punctuation Assassins Creed review

Warning foul language.

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Angry_Beaver

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#2 Angry_Beaver
Member since 2003 • 4884 Posts
I love that guy's reviews. :P
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ElArab

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#3 ElArab
Member since 2007 • 5754 Posts
Exactly what I expected he'd say. I noticed he isn't jet lagged anymore lol.
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shinian

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#4 shinian
Member since 2005 • 6871 Posts
Zero punctuation is great as always. A top notch review. I wonder if gamespot could hire him.
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GuttersnipeMav

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#5 GuttersnipeMav
Member since 2004 • 378 Posts

Zero punctuation is a genius comedian. I think his review was spot on, very telling.

He's also hilarious and british.

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ElArab

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#6 ElArab
Member since 2007 • 5754 Posts

Zero punctuation is a genius comedian. I think his review was spot on, very telling.

He's also hilarious and british.

GuttersnipeMav

Yeah he's British and lives in Austrailia, can you get a heavier accent? Maybe a dash of scottish could do it, but I think that's the best vocal cords can do lol.

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DarKre

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#7 DarKre
Member since 2003 • 9529 Posts
Ahahahaha..now thats vulgarity I like listening too.
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Dtnoip92

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#8 Dtnoip92
Member since 2007 • 119 Posts

Zero punctuation is great as always. A top notch review. I wonder if gamespot could hire him.shinian

But then, he would be fired after a hour for reviewing AAA titles low.

Anyway, great review

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super_slonik

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#9 super_slonik
Member since 2007 • 315 Posts
BEST REVIEW EVER!!! b:Dd
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Iga_Bobovic

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#10 Iga_Bobovic
Member since 2007 • 518 Posts

Just added the mass effect review.

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SemiMaster

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#11 SemiMaster
Member since 2006 • 19011 Posts

I gotta see this... back in a minute to comment.

Ok, aside from the colorful Euphemisms the only two good parts of the review were:

"The grizzled hair guy thing". That got me laughing, although I don't think he gave the game a fair shake since about a quarter of the review was based on THAT alone.

"The fat man on a unicycle" comparison to the Mako driving scenes. Absolutely brilliant.

To be honest though, this wasn't his best work, it was mostly a "let's bash the dialogue without even saying anything about the story or other content".

Clearly he's an RPG hater, which is fine, but sarcastic or not, this wasn't his best material.

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tony2077ca

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#12 tony2077ca
Member since 2005 • 5242 Posts

i like mass effect and i don't like him that'll just have to do i guess

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inoperativeRS

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#13 inoperativeRS
Member since 2004 • 8844 Posts
Funny as always, quite ignorant as always, but that's part of the fun I guess. He's done better though, for some reason the whole review felt forced.
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inoperativeRS

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#15 inoperativeRS
Member since 2004 • 8844 Posts

i like mass effect and i don't like him that'll just have to do i guess

tony2077ca

I never take him seriously, he's such a stereotypical elitist I see him more as a parody than anything else. The fact you can't be sure whether he knows it or not just makes it that much more fun. And he is a really funny guy to begin with.

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Black_Knight_00

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#16 Black_Knight_00
Member since 2007 • 78 Posts

Yahtzee has been making me laugh ( :lol: ) for at least five years with some of his early games and now I'm loving his reviews.

Nobody dare criticise his work, else I'm gonna beat you on the head with a baseball bat made of frozen stupid.

Best reviews so far: Peggle and The Orange Box.

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Greyhound222

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#17 Greyhound222
Member since 2005 • 2899 Posts
Too much traffic!
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SemiMaster

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#18 SemiMaster
Member since 2006 • 19011 Posts

Funny as always, quite ignorant as always, but that's part of the fun I guess. He's done better though, for some reason the whole review felt forced.inoperativeRS

I agree. It didn't have the bite that Bioshock or Super Paper Mario's did.

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GodModeEnabled

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#19 GodModeEnabled
Member since 2005 • 15314 Posts
Not bad, but I like the Assassins Creed one muuuch better. I mean its so true. Everytime you assassinate one of your main targets you start on top of the godamn mountain again, and have travel forever to get to the next guy. This annoyance is compunded by the fact that you cant run or gallop with a horse to travel quick, because the guards all enforce some kind of medevil speed limit for christ sakes. So to be honest I stay in high profile and run all the time until I get to the citys, because walking around sloooow as molasses is ****ing BORING.
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Wetall_basic

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#20 Wetall_basic
Member since 2003 • 4086 Posts
Not bad, but I like the Assassins Creed one muuuch better. I mean its so true. Everytime you assassinate one of your main targets you start on top of the godamn mountain again, and have travel forever to get to the next guy. This annoyance is compunded by the fact that you cant run or gallop with a horse to travel quick, because the guards all enforce some kind of medevil speed limit for christ sakes. So to be honest I stay in high profile and run all the time until I get to the citys, because walking around sloooow as molasses is ****ing BORING.GodModeEnabled


I haven't finished the game,but after you off the first three targets you can quick travel to any of the three cities. Before that I simply just ran past everyone,as I saw no reason to stop and fight,never really thought much of it. Also,they are instantly aggressive outside of the cities,I thought because they were the people who were wageing somekind of war on the place you live. Unlike the regular guards who you can walk past,they you have to sneek past. Or simply ignore them alltogether.

I love Zero punctuation. Great reviews,regardless if I agree or not,they many include truths,and are pretty much all funny.
Yahtzee tend to calls it likes he sees it,even if its a genre he hates,and its his bias that makes the reviews such great fun to watch.
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k_smoove

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#21 k_smoove
Member since 2006 • 11954 Posts

The best part about ZP is how true, yet hilarious it is. I think it's all just a joke, these may just be exaggerated opinions of his, if even that. I watch them strictly for humor.

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Skylock00

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#22 Skylock00
Member since 2002 • 20069 Posts

For me, Yahtzee's reviews have never been as good since his Bioshock review, simply because a number of them don't seem to carry the same sort of insight or clever observations that the Bioshock review had.

While assassin's creed had some of these points, I didn't feel quite the same about his Mass Effect review, but that's just my stance on the matter.

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bacchus2

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#23 bacchus2
Member since 2006 • 768 Posts

Hilarious!

"It's like you were about to bite into a toasted cheese sandwhich, only to have someone replace it with watery ejaculate between two pieces of wood"

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Iga_Bobovic

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#24 Iga_Bobovic
Member since 2007 • 518 Posts
Super Mario Galaxy review is in. See first post
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Jbul

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#25 Jbul
Member since 2007 • 4838 Posts

The new mass effect review

Super funny, zero punctuation Assassins Creed review

Yippee,my dream come true:Super Mario Galaxy Review

Warning foul language.

Iga_Bobovic

That was the funnest 10 minutes of my day, thank you! Man.... that Assassin's Creed one made me laugh so hard I woke up my girlfriend. :)

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Iga_Bobovic

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#26 Iga_Bobovic
Member since 2007 • 518 Posts
Silent Hill Origins review, see first post.
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digi_matrix

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#27 digi_matrix
Member since 2004 • 6600 Posts
Loved the Silent Hill review, I myself was having "blue balls" with his ME review, I felt it was forced. But now he's back on game, and hilarious and true as usual. What can I say, he's got an eye for the details. I hope The Collective do much better for Silent Hill V than just making a pseudo-remake of Silent Hill 2. He's so true on the combat though, you're not Rambo! It's just one of those flaws everyone can forgive, just like how I can forgive some of the annoyances in Ass Creed.
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m0zart

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#28 m0zart
Member since 2003 • 11580 Posts
I found myself disagreeing rather strongly with his Silent Hill Origins review. It's the first Silent Hill game I've truly loved since SH2.
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Cerussite

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#29 Cerussite
Member since 2007 • 3084 Posts

I found myself disagreeing rather strongly with his Silent Hill Origins review. It's the first Silent Hill game I've truly loved since SH2.m0zart
Really?

I found it even worse than Yahtzee thought it was.

SH4 was terrible, though.

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m0zart

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#30 m0zart
Member since 2003 • 11580 Posts

[QUOTE="m0zart"]I found myself disagreeing rather strongly with his Silent Hill Origins review. It's the first Silent Hill game I've truly loved since SH2.Cerussite

Really?

I found it even worse than Yahtzee thought it was.

SH4 was terrible, though.

Yes definitely loved it. It brought everything I liked about the first two games in the series back in a slightly abbreviated fashion, and also introduced some traditional aspects of the series with a few new game mechanics that I thought worked remarkably well.

My only real complaint was that it was on a handheld. I think a game like that needs to be experienced on a big screen. That problem was remedied though with my acquisition of a PSP Slim.

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m0zart

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#31 m0zart
Member since 2003 • 11580 Posts

I hope I'm not repeating anything that has already been shown before or going too far off-topic here, but as his profile suggests, Yahtzee (the Zero Punctuation guy) apparently also makes freeware adventure games. Some American or Canadian guy (not sure which at the speed of dialogue) apparently did his own review of that game in the same style as Yahtzee's. It's quite funny, and definitely shows some interesting wit.

Although there are a few British swear words, this one is surprisingly lacking in that department compared to the original it is imitating. Take a look at it here.

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Gamerzone23

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#32 Gamerzone23
Member since 2006 • 497 Posts
Ahaha. Nicey
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Godofnerdyness

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#33 Godofnerdyness
Member since 2007 • 3248 Posts

"Controlling the car is like a fat man riding a unicycle."

I lol'ed.

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bearbones

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#34 bearbones
Member since 2006 • 1332 Posts
"To me, the Silent Hill series is over and if Silent Hill 5 convinces me otherwise, then I will remove three of my own vertebrae, curl my spine back and eat my own ass" :lol:
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nopalversion

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#35 nopalversion
Member since 2005 • 4757 Posts
This guy is awesome. Some positivity would go a long way, though, as he is in danger of becoming too repetitive.
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dchan01

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#36 dchan01
Member since 2002 • 2768 Posts

This guy is awesome. Some positivity would go a long way, though, as he is in danger of becoming too repetitive.nopalversion

Have you watched the Psychonauts review or Orange Box ones? They are both positive.

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GodModeEnabled

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#37 GodModeEnabled
Member since 2005 • 15314 Posts
Awesome reviews, this guy is my hero.
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ElArab

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#38 ElArab
Member since 2007 • 5754 Posts

Funny as always, quite ignorant as always, but that's part of the fun I guess. He's done better though, for some reason the whole review felt forced.inoperativeRS

it WAS forced - look at the end of the mass effect review, right above his e-mail adress, it said "ok I finally did mass effect...can you shut up now?"

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TriangleHard

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#39 TriangleHard
Member since 2005 • 9097 Posts

it seems he and I agree on many things... except for JRPGs.

I have been thinking how Silent Hill franchise has been dying, and looks like SHV will end it completely.

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digi_matrix

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#40 digi_matrix
Member since 2004 • 6600 Posts

Silent Hill really needs something new, that's why I need to play Silent Hill 4 because the atmosphere and look of the apartment and the music completely blew me away. The 9-minute opening I saw was one of the most chilling things I've ever seen, so beautiful yet so disturbing in a new way. I don't care if going through the bathroom and the other world sucks, the apartment or "Room" itself intrigues me.

Either way, Alan Wake looks like what I want from a Silent Hill game, but feels completely new and it's from the guys who did Max Payne :).

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m0zart

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#41 m0zart
Member since 2003 • 11580 Posts

Silent Hill really needs something new, that's why I need to play Silent Hill 4 because the atmosphere and look of the apartment and the music completely blew me away. The 9-minute opening I saw was one of the most chilling things I've ever seen, so beautiful yet so disturbing in a new way. I don't care if going through the bathroom and the other world sucks, the apartment or "Room" itself intrigues me.

digi_matrix

I am alright with new things being added to Silent Hill, but like RE4, I think drastic re-architectures probably just deserve either a new or spinoff game series altogether rather than being applied to reinvent a series. I think RE4 was a great, even superior, game, but I miss the slow-paced and more cerebral experience of the original series. I would gladly have taken up RE4's banner as an off-shoot though, because it really does deserve not only to exist but to be praised as a work of art in and of itself.

The same can't be said of SH4 -- I honestly didn't care for it, and couldn't haveeven as a series unto itself. It started as a different spin-off series altogether, so it shouldn't really have been canonized in the numerical order as it has been. It also fired so many missteps and had so many blatantly annoying game mechanics (like the psychic draining that Yahtzee mentions) that it helped to reallydevalue my experience. I have tried so hard to be positive about that game, even making positive comments about its strengths from time to time in lieu of criticism, but I am just not being honest with myself when doing that sort of thing, and nothing I come up with as undeserved praise would ring of anything to those outside listening to this praise as anything other than forced and unauthentic.

When I play a game from a well-known game series, I am looking for more improvements from within the bubble of the series itself, not a reinvention. I can ALWAYS find new stuff to play -- I don't need series that are already strong to reinvent themselves. They can improve in other ways though. New ideas for the SH series are welcomed, yeah, but nothing as drastic as either SH4 or RE4. I want traditional Silent Hill first, and then maybe some new ideas can be exercised from within that framework. I thought SH0 was a good step in that direction, all but for the fact that it was a handheld game.

I think games like Phantom Hourglass demonstrate how a good series can be effectively refreshed without turning the entire formula on its head.

[spoiler] I happen to think that SH0 falls short of that level of superiority that Phantom Hourglass gave to the Zelda series, but it definitely was a step in a good direction. I guess I might be one of the few who really appreciated the fact that the users could transition between the twilight and nightmare worlds themselves. It didn't hurt the storytelling one bit, as one might think it would, and it allowed the duality of the two worlds to become not only a storytelling element, but a puzzle element as well. It's not a new concept -- it's been done in the Zelda series, Metroid Prime series, etc. many times over. But it was something that wasn't done in SH before, and it worked surprisingly well. [/spoiler]

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Iga_Bobovic

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#42 Iga_Bobovic
Member since 2007 • 518 Posts

Crysis review added!

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/editorials/zeropunctuation/2808-Zero-Punctuation-Crysi

Enjoy!

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inoperativeRS

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#44 inoperativeRS
Member since 2004 • 8844 Posts

While the Crysis review is very funny, I once again didn't agree with his opinions at all. I seriously don't understand him sometimes, the vehicles are completely fine IMO and stand more than enough damage on Delta difficulty, he fails to mention anything about the story which easily could be compared to that of a failed predator ripoff b-movie, the last 4 or so hours of the game are garbage compared to the rest of the game, the aliens are ridiculous and simply bad enemies etc. etc. The system requirements aren't even that bad, considering the graphical quality of the game I actually considered the game to be very well optimized.

And how he failed to mention the butchered difficulties is beyond me. I loved Far Cry's difficulty, it was kind of like Ninja Gaiden in that you felt a real sense of achievement once you completed the game on the hardest difficulty. In Crysis I blew through the game on Delta and felt it was easier than Far Cry on normal.

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nopalversion

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#45 nopalversion
Member since 2005 • 4757 Posts

The vehicles were a sore point for me as well, especially compared to Halo. Don't take this the wrong way, I'm anything but a Halo lover, but credit where credit's due. They ARE better than the vehicles in Far Cry, I'll give Crytek that.

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Wetall_basic

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#46 Wetall_basic
Member since 2003 • 4086 Posts
Very funny stuff. I agree abot the vehicles,it's generaly more fun to just jump out and shoot people,than it is to try and drive them. Not that it matters,just jump in one drive then jump out. Good enough for me. I just got to the aliens,so yeah,I can see his point here. I miss fighting enjoyable enemys.
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TriangleHard

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#47 TriangleHard
Member since 2005 • 9097 Posts

Only thing I don't like about him is that he is biggest Value fanboy.

Other than that, I love his reviews.

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CaptHawkeye

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#48 CaptHawkeye
Member since 2004 • 13977 Posts
So he actually kind of liked Crysis? That's surprising actually. I figured he would absolutely despise it. Despite that, I still agree with his biggest complaint about the game. It didn't put the engine to well enough use. The game ends up being "Yet Another Doom" when it could have been a PCnext gen Shadow of the Collosus.
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CaptHawkeye

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#49 CaptHawkeye
Member since 2004 • 13977 Posts

While the Crysis review is very funny, I once again didn't agree with his opinions at all. I seriously don't understand him sometimes, the vehicles are completely fine IMO and stand more than enough damage on Delta difficulty, he fails to mention anything about the story which easily could be compared to that of a failed predator ripoff b-movie,inoperativeRS

Primarily because he tends to not care at all about the story of an FPS game.Since they're pretty generic and largelypresent in an attempt to distract the player from the lack of genuinly original gameplay.

the last 4 or so hours of the game are garbage compared to the rest of the game, the aliens are ridiculous and simply bad enemies etc. etc.

Sad how Far Cry turned out this way as well. It would help if Crytek just ditched the "hurr, trend setting story" mantra, because they clearly suck at it, even compared to other FPS games.

The system requirements aren't even that bad, considering the graphical quality of the game I actually considered the game to be very well optimized.

The game runs fine when nothing is happening. The problem is as soon as someone fires his gun, the game turns into post cards. Crysis loads things like textures and particles just fine. The problem is when you kick in those vertex shaders and special effects. Without which, the game looks like crap, with them, the price you pay in frames is almost unbearable.

And how he failed to mention the butchered difficulties is beyond me. I loved Far Cry's difficulty, it was kind of like Ninja Gaiden in that you felt a real sense of achievement once you completed the game on the hardest difficulty. In Crysis I blew through the game on Delta and felt it was easier than Far Cry on normal.

Agreed. This was only compounded by the utter incompetance of the AI. I'm so god damn tired of the reviewers going on and on about Crysis' AI "zomg teh awezome" because it does, what? Call for help? Throw grenades at the player's last known position? That's not AI, it's subtle scripting. Or how about how the AI convienently doesn't notice the player brushing up against branches and trees when his cloak is on? Because the developers literally made the cloak mode a light switch.

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Iga_Bobovic

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#50 Iga_Bobovic
Member since 2007 • 518 Posts

Witcher review

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/editorials/zeropunctuation/2831-Zero-Punctuation-The-Witcher

Enjoy!