Thought this might be fun.
1. If you are tall and handsome, you will emerge from every fight without a scratch and every bullet will miss you
2. If you're surrounded by 20 bad guys, don't worry. They'll hang back and come at you in ones or twos so you can conveniently defeat them all.
3. If someone is chasing you down an alley, you'll find that boxes have been placed for you at all the spots you need to climb over. You barely need to stretch, let alone jump.
4. The police officer's family member is murdered, he kills who he thinks was responsible only to find that they were hired by someone else.
5. All cars have amazing shock absorbers that enable them to sail through the air and land without blowing up.
6. Except for police cars. Those will crash and burn in any chase.
7. It only takes a few bullets to blow up a police helicopter.
8. But it's not all bad for cops. If you're a police officer, you'll only solve the case when your boss takes your badge and says, "You're off the case."
9. Watchmen are non-descript individuals who have two duties: sleep at their desks and be the first to get killed. It's in their job description.
10. Veiled ninjas whip off their masks to reveal that they are in fact, gasp, women.
11. All ventilation systems are clean and end at hinged vents that the spy can open with a simple push.
12. The protagonist can invent marvellously creative ways to kill faceless goons; the goons only know how to stand in the open and get killed.
13. The protagonist always managaes to find cover; the goons don't.
14. If you're a goon, a single bullet will kill you.
15. The protagonist needs to reload only once during a firefight.
16. Whenever the protagonist defuses a bomb, the timer shows 00.03 seconds left.
17. There will be a long and cosy discussion between the protagonist and the antagonist before the final bullet is fired.
18. The antagonist can kill everyone except the protagonist.
19. The protagonist always thinks of a badass one-liner to say.
20. If the protagonist is angry, he won't falter even if you shoot him until he's more chicken wire than a person.
You guys continue the list.
Log in to comment