A Day in the life of JOE

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Panzer-schreck

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#1 Panzer-schreck
Member since 2007 • 2835 Posts
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF JOE REPUBLICAN

Joe gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his
morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging
liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards. With his first swallow
of water, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take
because some stupid commie liberal fought to ensure their safety and that
they work as advertised.

All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan
because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical
insurance - now Joe gets it too.

He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Joe's bacon is safe to
eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat
packing industry.

In the morning shower, Joe reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly
labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because
some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on
his body and how much it contained.

Joe dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is
clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for the laws to
stop industries from polluting our air.

He walks on the government-provided sidewalk to subway station for his
government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in
parking and transportation fees because some fancy pants liberal fought for
affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be
a contributor.

Joe begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical
benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal
union members fought and died for these working standards. Joe's employer
pays these standards because Joe's employer doesn't want his employees to
call the union.

If Joe is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll get a worker
compensation or unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn't think
he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.

It is noontime and Joe needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some
bills. Joe's deposit is federally insured by the FSLIC because some godless
liberal wanted to protect Joe's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined
the banking system before the Great Depression.

Joe has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market
federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Joe and the
government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money
over his lifetime. Joe also forgets that his in addition to his federally
subsidized student loans, he attended a state funded university.

Joe is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his
farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is
among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought
for car safety standards to go along with the tax-payer funded roads.

He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the
house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because bankers didn't want
to make rural loans.

The house didn't have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck
his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification.

He is happy to see his father, who is now retired. His father lives on
Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking,
cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Joe
wouldn't have to.

Joe gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show.
The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are
good. He doesn't mention that the beloved Republicans have fought against
every protection and benefit Joe enjoys throughout his day. Joe agrees: "We
don't need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I'm
a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just
like I have."
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Panzer-schreck

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#2 Panzer-schreck
Member since 2007 • 2835 Posts

tl;dr apparently

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mrbojangles25

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#3 mrbojangles25
Member since 2005 • 60881 Posts

*applause*

That was a great read.

Very biased, as republicans have also done many great things as well, but I find it very good and a lot of neoconservatives need to read that.

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lennyh

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#4 lennyh
Member since 2005 • 1216 Posts
cool
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Led_poison

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#5 Led_poison
Member since 2004 • 10146 Posts
forgot to mention Zinc in all of those, Joe should thank zinc
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The_Mac_Daddy

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#6 The_Mac_Daddy
Member since 2008 • 2401 Posts
Wasn't the whole car safety thing mostly Ralph Nader's doing?
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DarkPrinceXC

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#7 DarkPrinceXC
Member since 2003 • 5921 Posts
I thought this was about Joe Sakic. :(
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Whicker89

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#8 Whicker89
Member since 2004 • 18919 Posts
I find this very offensive to Republicans like myself
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mrbojangles25

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#9 mrbojangles25
Member since 2005 • 60881 Posts

I find this very offensive to Republicans like myselfWhicker89

why? it did not criticize republicans.

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gobo212

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#10 gobo212
Member since 2003 • 6277 Posts

I find this very offensive to Republicans like myselfWhicker89

Offensive? Isn't that a little much?

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Solid_Snake1221

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#11 Solid_Snake1221
Member since 2004 • 8658 Posts
Dun pay attention to Whicker. He's from Australia.
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HardQuor

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#12 HardQuor
Member since 2007 • 1282 Posts

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF JOE REPUBLICANPanzer-schreck

Nice. I hope you're rockin' that awesome flame shield stile though.

In other news, I like this color thing people are doing with their text. I love fads i don't have to pay for.

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illegalimigrant

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#13 illegalimigrant
Member since 2008 • 1402 Posts

I find this very offensive to Republicans like myselfWhicker89

Yea I feel for you. Since republicans get offended when someone offends their offences.

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Panzer-schreck

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#14 Panzer-schreck
Member since 2007 • 2835 Posts

[QUOTE="Panzer-schreck"]A DAY IN THE LIFE OF JOE REPUBLICANHardQuor

Nice. I hope you're rockin' that awesome flame shield stile though.

In other news, I like this color thing people are doing with their text. I love fads i don't have to pay for.

Psh, i was doing this a year ago, and now it's a fad? And people think, I'm following a fad? Psh.

I don't post here often enough. Er...enough? I just don't post here often.

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euphzilla03

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#15 euphzilla03
Member since 2007 • 395 Posts
I think this is a very effective writting.
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Mr_Kowaski

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#16 Mr_Kowaski
Member since 2007 • 1506 Posts
I didnt read it. what is it about?
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johnnyv2003

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#17 johnnyv2003
Member since 2003 • 13762 Posts
wow, sounds like Joe The Republican has a pretty boring day going on there...I'm guessing since you've written such a vivid story that you know that alot of the programs that you're talking about were started by the man some of you know as Richard M. Nixon. Who incidentally is a republican.
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xTheExploited

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#18 xTheExploited
Member since 2007 • 12094 Posts
I thought this was about Joe Sakic. :( DarkPrinceXC
Everything is about Joe Sakic.
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euphzilla03

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#19 euphzilla03
Member since 2007 • 395 Posts

wow, sounds like Joe The Republican has a pretty boring day going on there...I'm guessing since you've written such a vivid story that you know that alot of the programs that you're talking about were started by the man some of you know as Richard M. Nixon. Who incidentally is a republican.johnnyv2003

I think that almost adds to the effect. If you think about it some of Nixons stuff was by todays use of the word Liberal. And he's going off the fact that liberal thinking is demonized and yet someone as republican as nixon could have held onto some liberal views. Or of course this could all be pure speculation on my part and I missed the point completely.

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johnnyv2003

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#20 johnnyv2003
Member since 2003 • 13762 Posts

[QUOTE="johnnyv2003"]wow, sounds like Joe The Republican has a pretty boring day going on there...I'm guessing since you've written such a vivid story that you know that alot of the programs that you're talking about were started by the man some of you know as Richard M. Nixon. Who incidentally is a republican.euphzilla03

I think that almost adds to the effect. If you think about it some of Nixons stuff was by todays use of the word Liberal. And he's going off the fact that liberal thinking is demonized and yet someone as republican as nixon could have held onto some liberal views. Or of course this could all be pure speculation on my part and I missed the point completely.

oh god yea, if people weren't fooled by the republican/democrat dichotomy then Nixon would be considered very fiscally liberal. In Nixon's defense, he did have the foresight to see that the Baby Boomers were starting to come of age. Which led to us getting off the gold standard, and onto the credit system we have now. Which actually kept us strung together, if barely. Because lord help us if we were still on the gold standard today, there wouldn't be enough for even the elite rich.

I hate to look at things in such calous terms, but I'm hoping once the Baby Boomer gen starts to fade away we can actually shrink back the federal government. Not that we'll ever be back on the gold standard, but hopefully when the boomers see the end of their generation we won't need such a strong social security system, or welfare...etc

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Blazzer105

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#21 Blazzer105
Member since 2008 • 303 Posts
Joe 6 pack. 8)
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alexmurray

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#22 alexmurray
Member since 2005 • 2665 Posts
good read, its so true
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comp_atkins

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#23 comp_atkins
Member since 2005 • 38944 Posts

forgot to mention Zinc in all of those, Joe should thank zincLed_poison

come back zinc! come back!

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tocklestein2005

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#24 tocklestein2005
Member since 2008 • 5532 Posts

nice.

GObama 2008

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Funky_Llama

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#25 Funky_Llama
Member since 2006 • 18428 Posts
I liked that. 'twas very well-written too. *offers congratulatory cookie*
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N8A

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#26 N8A
Member since 2007 • 18602 Posts
doesnt sound like my life.
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Diablo112688

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#27 Diablo112688
Member since 2003 • 8345 Posts
I am really only interested in Joe the Plumber.
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DarkPrinceXC

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#28 DarkPrinceXC
Member since 2003 • 5921 Posts

I am really only interested in Joe the Plumber.Diablo112688

Like McCain's campaign?

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Diablo112688

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#29 Diablo112688
Member since 2003 • 8345 Posts

[QUOTE="Diablo112688"]I am really only interested in Joe the Plumber.DarkPrinceXC

Like McCain's campaign?

Lol. This is a great post. Good stuff thread creator.

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DarkPrinceXC

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#30 DarkPrinceXC
Member since 2003 • 5921 Posts
[QUOTE="DarkPrinceXC"]

[QUOTE="Diablo112688"]I am really only interested in Joe the Plumber.Diablo112688

Like McCain's campaign?

Lol. This is a great post. Good stuff thread creator.

I agree. One of my close friends and also co-worker is voting for McCain, strictly because of the most ignorant reasons I have ever heard in my life. And yes, one of those being because "he's white". It's unfortunate that people don't take time to actually research their candidate. I could care less if you support McCain, as long as you have at least a LITTLE knowledge on what he stands for.

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metallica_fan42

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#31 metallica_fan42
Member since 2006 • 21143 Posts
I thought this was about Joe Sakic. :( DarkPrinceXC
Trust me, I'm as disappointed as you.
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DarkPrinceXC

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#32 DarkPrinceXC
Member since 2003 • 5921 Posts

[QUOTE="DarkPrinceXC"]I thought this was about Joe Sakic. :( metallica_fan42
Trust me, I'm as disappointed as you.

Well after I actually read his post, I was happy again. I'd be lying if I told you that my heart has been healed though. :oops:

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ShuLordLiuPei

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#33 ShuLordLiuPei
Member since 2005 • 9520 Posts
Great post. More people need to read this.
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#34 Mr_Sesshomaru
Member since 2003 • 1790 Posts

One of the best posts I've read in a while. I agree entirely.

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Darth_Tyrev

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#35 Darth_Tyrev
Member since 2005 • 7072 Posts
Joe read the news today, oh boy... about a lucky man who made the grade.