Alright guys, help me out. My social life is still going NOWHERE!!

I'm sure some of you guys know me on this off-topic forum from making threads about my social problems. Well here I am, still, saying...NOTHING IS MOVING!! I try to talk to people, but people don't come to to me later on. I haven't made a dramatically, noticeable difference. Maybe that's the problem?? Do I just have to force some kind of joke out?? Approach a group and talk to them all at once?? Jeez, I'm so sick of it at this point. Imean, just ONE close friend would make all the difference.

Any other tips or advice to help me out?

Step 1: Get off gamespot, or at least stop asking OT for advice on your social life :P. That's a dead end.

Be good friends with a popular person.

It worked with me. :)

Hey action1234 stop by The TRU

They might be able to help you out :D

Get a job, make friends there. weezyfb

Don't worry. You have definitely arrived at the right place.

You're trying too hard. Relax. If you are into sports, join a gym, softball league, basketball. If you have a hobby, most hobbiest have clubs and join one of those. That way you are already going in whith the same interests and can easily join into conversation. DON'T try to crack a joke right away for the love of god. My best advise though is to rip a huge hairy nasty fart as you shake hands after wiping your nose.

I'm not a social genius at all but my advice is to just relax and not treat social experience like its something really complicated. I suggest you join a gym or a club or something and be friendly and be yourself.

just go to a dorky group of people and say hi for starters. are you in school or what?

I'm in a gym and a club, but I still don't have much of a social life. What I'd recommend, though, would be going to bars or clubs. I never go to those, but I know there are some lonely people in there. majadamus

Really? When I asked here about going to a bar alone and trying to make friends there, I was told it wouldn't work because other guys would think I'm hitting on them..

And to those who asked, yes I am in school.

Just have confidence in yourself, and don't try too hard :)

Just let it come naturally, it is the best way.

Start playing a sport and join a team at your school (if you go to school).

Any other tips or advice to help me out?

action1234

I'm sure some of you guys know me on this off-topic forum from making threads about my social problems. Well here I am, still, saying...NOTHING IS MOVING!! I try to talk to people, but people don't come to to me later on. I haven't made a dramatically, noticeable difference. Maybe that's the problem?? Do I just have to force some kind of joke out?? Approach a group and talk to them all at once?? Jeez, I'm so sick of it at this point. Imean, just ONE close friend would make all the difference.

Any other tips or advice to help me out?

action1234

I have just diagnosed your problem.

If you're not going to make a worthwhile change on your part, then how else do you expect people to start coming to you? If you're going to present yourself as an unmotivated person, then expect people to lose interest in you fast.

instead of talking about ur social life on gamespot why dont you go out and get a girl

I started from stratch whenI got to college.

Since I figured there were lots of people who also didn't know anybody, I started walking upto people sitting alone and stricking up conversations. Sure a majority of them were awkward, but I met a lot of people.

If your not in college then check out whats happening in your area. Look at flyers and check online for events.

Just do what I did. Accept the fact that you'll never have a social life and embrace the life of loneliness.

[QUOTE="majadamus"]I'm in a gym and a club, but I still don't have much of a social life. What I'd recommend, though, would be going to bars or clubs. I never go to those, but I know there are some lonely people in there. action1234

Really? When I asked here about going to a bar alone and trying to make friends there, I was told it wouldn't work because other guys would think I'm hitting on them..

And to those who asked, yes I am in school.

Even if you are starting from scratch just go to bars and get to know the regulars and the bar staff. If you know these people even on just a first-name familiarity basis it gives you social proof. I have been in cities knowing zero people and have been able to gather a decent social circle in under ~2 weeks. If you want me to elaborate on this I will but I won't waste my time if you're just whining and don't actually want to improve.

I should probably just make a separate thread where I just give social advice to people. With the exception of a few posters any advice I have seen on a social situation has either been a halfserious joke or just downright horrible advice.

I'm sure some of you guys know me on this off-topic forum from making threads about my social problems. Well here I am, still, saying...NOTHING IS MOVING!! I try to talk to people, but people don't come to to me later on. I haven't made a dramatically, noticeable difference. Maybe that's the problem?? Do I just have to force some kind of joke out?? Approach a group and talk to them all at once?? Jeez, I'm so sick of it at this point. Imean, just ONE close friend would make all the difference.

Any other tips or advice to help me out?

action1234

Instead of tackling a group, start with just one person who's not too popular. Let them do most of the talking while you listen. Never lie. People can usually tell in real life when you say BS.

Another thing is, don't try to over do anything. Try not to freak out people by doing/wearing/saying things that freaks out people. Also, be helpful but make sure you let them know there is a limit to prevent people from walking over you or using you.

If you're a guy, don't wear make-up and never be too cynical. Life is brutal so there is no need for you to be overly negative about it and tell others. Be optimistic or well balanced in your positivity and negativity.

Trying to have so called "friends" is easy, but having a good friend will take time. It might even take years, but it's worth it. Trust me.

[QUOTE="action1234"]

I'm sure some of you guys know me on this off-topic forum from making threads about my social problems. Well here I am, still, saying...NOTHING IS MOVING!! I try to talk to people, but people don't come to to me later on. I haven't made a dramatically, noticeable difference. Maybe that's the problem?? Do I just have to force some kind of joke out?? Approach a group and talk to them all at once?? Jeez, I'm so sick of it at this point. Imean, just ONE close friend would make all the difference.

Any other tips or advice to help me out?

fend_oblivion

Instead of tackling a group, start with just one person who's not too popular. Let them do most of the talking while you listen. Never lie. People can usually tell in real life when you say BS.

Another thing is, don't try to over do anything. Try not to freak out people by doing/wearing/saying things that freaks out people. Also, be helpful but make sure you let them know there is a limit to prevent people from walking over you or using you.

If you're a guy, don't wear make-up and never be too cynical. Life is brutal so there is no need for you to be overly negative about it and tell others. Be optimistic or well balanced in your positivity and negativity.

Trying to have so called "friends" is easy, but having a good friend will take time. It might even take years, but it's worth it. Trust me.

In terms of going up to groups solo this is very difficult unless it's at an event of some kind or you are a very interesting person. Find 1-2 friends to come out with you and it makes it a lot easier. If you have no friends you're starting from scratch so just start talking to randoms and see if they don't suck.

I don't think you should talk to other loners.

WheresKinggiAt

When I said talk to one person, I didn't mean loners. I meant like people who don't always hang around with big crowds.

Just do what I did. Accept the fact that you'll never have a social life and embrace the life of loneliness.

ShyGuy0504

That's terrible man. I'd go mad if I didn't have atleast one friend :(

Your trying too hard. Nobody likes a try hard! Just be "cool", and when I mean "cool", I dont mean act all badass, clown around and blindly follow trends; I mean just seem like your laidback.

I'm sure some of you guys know me on this off-topic forum from making threads about my social problems. Well here I am, still, saying...NOTHING IS MOVING!! I try to talk to people, but people don't come to to me later on. I haven't made a dramatically, noticeable difference. Maybe that's the problem?? Do I just have to force some kind of joke out?? Approach a group and talk to them all at once?? Jeez, I'm so sick of it at this point. Imean, just ONE close friend would make all the difference.

Any other tips or advice to help me out?

action1234

A little bit of info would help...

Are you in school? are you working?

...

I'm sure some of you guys know me on this off-topic forum from making threads about my social problems. Well here I am, still, saying...NOTHING IS MOVING!! I try to talk to people, but people don't come to to me later on. I haven't made a dramatically, noticeable difference. Maybe that's the problem?? Do I just have to force some kind of joke out?? Approach a group and talk to them all at once?? Jeez, I'm so sick of it at this point. Imean, just ONE close friend would make all the difference.

Any other tips or advice to help me out?

action1234

Honestly it seems as if you're trying to hard. Just lay off, go out and meet people. Get involved in some type of club, talk to people, but most importantly be yourself!

Hmm. Do you have Aspergers?

Watch "I Love You, Man." At least you'll get some ideas.

I don't know how to describe this so I am just gonna say it. Don't act weird. Don't try and force it. Don't be one of those "wanna be friends" people. Because seriously the last time someone asked me that I told them to go eff themselves. Also said the samething to someone who asked "so we are friends right?"

It should go without saying.

I was in the same boat as you

I am in high school so over summer vacation i like completly changed my look and my attitude, and became nice and ALOT better looking.

I pushed social boundries and shoved myself into groups of people and got to know everybody, and ever since then my social life has been much healthier

It takes quite a bit of time and patience and determination, I am still in the process of fully getting into a social group, but everybody knows me now and I talk with alot more people now, and life has been alot better.

If you arent good looking, REALLY try to change how you look, it can make quite a bit of a difference. Make sure you have good hygiene, aren't annoying, outgoing, fun loving, and just go with the flow. Don't tell long lame stories, and don't talk about videogames too much, it can get quite annoying after awhile. Get a cool hobby, and start participating in sports, you can meet alot of new and awesome people.

Oh, by the way, another thing you should do is get off the computer and cut back on videogames!

Regardless of what you do, good luck!

Hmm. Do you have Aspergers?

SgtKevali

[QUOTE="majadamus"]I'm in a gym and a club, but I still don't have much of a social life. What I'd recommend, though, would be going to bars or clubs. I never go to those, but I know there are some lonely people in there. action1234

Really? When I asked here about going to a bar alone and trying to make friends there, I was told it wouldn't work because other guys would think I'm hitting on them..

And to those who asked, yes I am in school.

Then quit hitting on them.. you flirt

On topic: Try just branching out where you visit, get out whenever you can..