Another help me thread involving a girl.

Ok so I am really good friends with this one girl. We have been friends for about 8 months now. I mean she is probably one of my best friends next to one or two guys, and it is the same for her I am one of her best friends expect maybe one or two girls. Well the thing is that over the past week or so I have started to develop feelings for her that is more than a friend. At least I think I have. I am having trouble in coming up with away of telling her without losing our friendship. What I have come up with so far is "Hey Jane (not her real name) over the past week or so I have started to develop feelings for you that go beyond our friendship and I was wondering if you would like to go out on a date, if not it is whatever." I think that is horrible so I am asking for your all help in coming up with a better way of saying that with out ruining our friendship. I also don't want to bottle this up because then it will get worse. Thanks in advance.

Just say "I like you"

Also ask yourself "do I really want her as just a friend?"

"i like you". its that simple, stop blowing it out of prportionpete_merlin

"i like you". its that simple, stop blowing it out of prportionpete_merlin

Yeah

If you're already friends with this girl, you have about a 1% chance of this moving on to more than friends.

My personal suggestion is to get over her. You never should be friends with any girl that you might ever want to date. An acquantiance? Definately, but never a friend...especially a close friend. In fact, you should probably slap yourself once right now. Do it.

But if you must (and you stand a serious chance of losing your friendship as well), my suggestion is to take her to something like a fair/carnival....basically just someplace that's fun. And at some point, just pull her to the side for some privacy and kiss her. No words, just kiss her. To be honest, that is more likely to work than awkwardly asking her out on a real date, which will require her to think (about such things like "will this ruin our friendship?", "How do I really feel?", "What will our other friends think?" etc etc). By kissing her, all she has to decide is if she likes it or not. Hopefully she will.

is she hot?esbastica

If you're already friends with this girl, you have about a 1% chance of this moving on to more than friends.

My personal suggestion is to get over her. You never should be friends with any girl that you might ever want to date. An acquantiance? Definately, but never a friend...especially a close friend. In fact, you should probably slap yourself once right now. Do it.

But if you must (and you stand a serious chance of losing your friendship as well), my suggestion is to take her to something like a fair/carnival....basically just someplace that's fun. And at some point, just pull her to the side for some privacy and kiss her. No words, just kiss her. To be honest, that is more likely to work than awkwardly asking her out on a real date, which will require her to think (about such things like "will this ruin our friendship?", "How do I really feel?", "What will our other friends think?" etc etc). By kissing her, all she has to decide is if she likes it or not. Hopefully she will.

Vampyronight

When we first became friends I didn't like her like that and I didn't have any interest in even thinking about dating her til the past week or so and I understand that I might lose the friendship but I don't want to hold this in and hold out on hope and plus that carnival idea is interesting but that is not something I would do and plus I think that would def. ruin the friendship.

[QUOTE="esbastica"]is she hot?Kamekazi_69

how old are you? still in school? you'll make new friends and she'll probz drift out of your life if you just stay friends, people move around you see.

Do you want her as a gf? im gonna say yeh seeing as you posted this topic. I like you. thats it

When we first became friends I didn't like her like that and I didn't have any interest in even thinking about dating her til the past week or so and I understand that I might lose the friendship but I don't want to hold this in and hold out on hope and plus that carnival idea is interesting but that is not something I would do and plus I think that would def. ruin the friendship.

justblaze7204

The problem with just saying, "I like you," or, "Hey, I want to go out on a date with you as more than friends," is that it puts her on the spot- you're making her decide right away if she likes you. She's also going to think about the implications and what it will mean to your mutual friends and a whole host of other things. Now she's bogged down in thinking and is likely to say either no or she'll think about it. By doing something really powerful like kissing her, you're leading her and you're giving her a very simple choice- did I like the kiss? Do a good job on the kiss and you increase your odds of her saying yes. Basically, if you kiss her, the choice is simple...if you tell her, the choice is complex. There are more ways to lose in a complex situation.

To be honest, while I was in high school (and through most of college), I was absolutely atrocious with girls. I really do believe that I would've given the same response as you- it's not something I would do. Well, I didn't get the girls either, so perhaps I should've tried something different.

And yeah, the bit about not being friends with a girl...consider that future advice.

how old are you? still in school? you'll make new friends and she'll probz drift out of your life if you just stay friends, people move around you see.

Do you want her as a gf? im gonna say yeh seeing as you posted this topic. I like you. thats it

pete_merlin

I am 22 and she is 20, I just graduated from the same college that she is going too, but I live like 10 mins from college because I found a job close by plus I am from the area. That is what I thought would happen in the summer too. That is that we wouldn't talk much and move apart cause she lives in around 2 hrs from where i live. Yet we talked almost everyday and stayed close and I even went to see her after she invited me down to see her and we went to a concert together. I only liked her as a friend there so i didn't try anything, it is only since she has come back to college that this problem has happened.

[QUOTE="Vampyronight"]

If you're already friends with this girl, you have about a 1% chance of this moving on to more than friends.

My personal suggestion is to get over her. You never should be friends with any girl that you might ever want to date. An acquantiance? Definately, but never a friend...especially a close friend. In fact, you should probably slap yourself once right now. Do it.

But if you must (and you stand a serious chance of losing your friendship as well), my suggestion is to take her to something like a fair/carnival....basically just someplace that's fun. And at some point, just pull her to the side for some privacy and kiss her. No words, just kiss her. To be honest, that is more likely to work than awkwardly asking her out on a real date, which will require her to think (about such things like "will this ruin our friendship?", "How do I really feel?", "What will our other friends think?" etc etc). By kissing her, all she has to decide is if she likes it or not. Hopefully she will.

justblaze7204

Then you definitely don't need to be worrying about ways to maintain the friendship now do you? If you have feelings for her--then simply tell her. If she doesn't return them then there is really no real point of continuing any type of relationship with her that goes beyond acquaintanceship. In my opinion, you're naively risking you're friendship though--there is way too many other girls out here to be risking something that is probably very special to you in the first place. But then again, best friends come and go--that never changes so there is still no real reason to hold back. I would suggest some ways you can go about it, but you probably have you're own style already. Hopefully, it works out for you though.

Then you definitely don't need to be worrying about ways to maintain the friendship now do you? If you have feelings for her--then simply tell her. If she doesn't return them then there is really no real point of continuing any type of relationship with her that goes beyond acquaintanceship. In my opinion, you're naively risking you're friendship though--there is way too many other girls out here to be risking something that is probably very special to you in the first place. But then again, best friends come and go--that never changes so there is still no real reason to hold back. I would suggest some ways you can go about it, but you probably have you're own style already. Hopefully, it works out for you though. TecmoGirl

I know I might lose the friendship but I don't want too and I don't think I will, and that is true there are other girls and this could just be a fleeting feeling, and I would hate to lose this friendship over just that.

[QUOTE="TecmoGirl"]Then you definitely don't need to be worrying about ways to maintain the friendship now do you? If you have feelings for her--then simply tell her. If she doesn't return them then there is really no real point of continuing any type of relationship with her that goes beyond acquaintanceship. In my opinion, you're naively risking you're friendship though--there is way too many other girls out here to be risking something that is probably very special to you in the first place. But then again, best friends come and go--that never changes so there is still no real reason to hold back. I would suggest some ways you can go about it, but you probably have you're own style already. Hopefully, it works out for you though. justblaze7204

I know I might lose the friendship but I don't want too and I don't think I will, and that is true there are other girls and this could just be a fleeting feeling, and I would hate to lose this friendship over just that.

well i think the "I like you" idea is perfect, it worked for me, the girl was one of my best friends fo almost a year. One day i decided that i liked her and well i told her, it was very very odd at first. She was my girlfiend for 3 years.