Anybody got a joke?

Does anyone have a joke worth mentioning?

a baby seal walks into a club.....

A guy asked people for a joke on the internet

http://www.google.com/search?q=Jokes

A guy asked people for a joke on the internet

http://www.google.com/search?q=Jokes

This post is a joke. Laugh at it, please.

what is E.T short for? because he has little legs.

Werner Hissenberg is driving very fast down the freeway.

A cop pulls him over and asks: "Do you know how fast you were going?"

Hissenberg responds: "No, but I knew exactly where I was"

You guys hear about that 5 car pile up?

100 mexicans died

What did one traffic light say to the other?

[spoiler] Don't watch me change! [/spoiler]

What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?

.

.

.

.

pull the pin and throw it back!

Remember, if you leave alphabet soup on the stove and go out, it could spell disaster.

There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said 'Keep off the Grass'.

What do you call a fish with no eye's?

[spoiler] A fsh [/spoiler]

What do you do when a moron throws a grenade at you? [spoiler] pull the pin and throw it back. [/spoiler] Remember, if you leave alphabet soup on the stove and go out, it could spell disaster. There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said 'Keep off the Grass'. What do you call a fish with no eye's? [spoiler] A fsh [/spoiler] cd_rom

haha, nice try stealing my joke.

haha, nice try stealing my joke.

gogly

Joke #1 Drunk guys have this confidence when approaching women, they'll say stuff like: "hey baby were your parents ret@rted cause you sure are special".

Joke #2 Politicians should beNascar drivers and wear jackets with the names of the people and companies sponsoring them.

Superman is flying by the city when he spots WonderWoman taking a shower, He stops and thinks to himself "I'm superman! I bet I could hit that and be out of there in a second!" He goes for it. WonderWoman asks "What was that?", The Invisible man says "I don't know, but my butt hurts.".

Remember, if you leave alphabet soup on the stove and go out, it could spell disaster.

There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said 'Keep off the Grass'.

What do you call a fish with no eye's?

A fsh

cd_rom

We have a winner!

A guy walks into a wall and he says. Ow! Well I'll go play black ops now!

2 guys are talking to each other. Lets call guy 1 Bob and guy 2 Joe.

So Joe and Bob are arguing if black is a color. So to decide they got to their preist. Bob asks if black is a color. The priest looks in the Bible and says yes. So Joe says, "So wait? White is not a color?" So they argue more and go back to the priest and they ask if white is a color. The priest looks in the bible and says yes.

So Bob says," SEE! I told you I sold you a color t.v!"

2 guys are talking to each other. Lets call guy 1 Bob and guy 2 Joe.

So Joe and Bob are arguing if black is a color. So to decide they got to their preist. Bob asks if black is a color. The priest looks in the Bible and says yes. So Joe says, "So wait? White is not a color?" So they argue more and go back to the priest and they ask if white is a color. The priest looks in the bible and says yes.

So Bob says," SEE! I told you I sold you a color t.v!"

Rutzfuz

hmm made me laugh. you sir, get a big thumbs up

Close enough.

it's a stupid old calculator joke

11669 x 3 = 35007

1 girl who was 16 yrs old, met 69 guys and decided to have sex with them 3 times each and she became 35007(turn calculator upside down and it reads LOOSE)

:twisted:

You guys hear about that 5 car pile up?

100 mexicans died

fatcat13sep

wow

racist but funny :)

Close enough.

mindstorm

that was funny too

What do you call a man who talks on the mobile with no hands...handsfree...

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Online Games is My Life | Free Online Games Forever and Forever…

A stupid dude comes home from work and finds his wife in the arms of another man. the idiot pulls out a gun and points it at his head. His wife yells "Don't do it!". The idiot said "Shut up! You're next!"

Chuck norris can slam a revolving door...

Chuck Norris dosent sleep he waits...

Chuck Norris dosent check for the boogie man the boogie man checks for him

Chuck Norris dosen't read he stares

Chuck norris dosent moe his lawn he DARES his lawn to grow.

Search "wheres chuck norris" on google and click im feeling lucky

Chuck Norris jokes aren't even funny :|

On topic:Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side! Hahahahahaha!

Knock knock....

A drunk man comes home early in morning. His wife waits for him at the door and says angrily:

" Where the hell have you been!!? I told you not to drink anymore and you are coming home all drunk like this?!? What is your problem???? Where were you all night!??"

The man replies: "Uhhh ahh i waaazzz playiiiiinng chesssss with sooomme buddiesss?" (munching on words like a drunkard does)

His wife: "Chess? Why are you freaking stinking like alcohol then you pig???!"

The man calmly replies: " Whhhaaat zo you waaant me toooo smeeellll likeee? Chessssss?"

Knock knock....

Pierst179

[QUOTE="Pierst179"]

Knock knock....

Silent_death7

I was just bluffing. I don't have any jokes. I am unfunny. :cry:

I got a couple of green jokes, but I sure as hell gonna get modded if I post it here.

bump

I have a biology joke (a rare thing):

A man walks in to a bar, and asks the bartender "Can I have a glass of adenosine triphosphate?"

And the barman replies "That'll be eighty pee"

*Explanation:

UK currency has 'pence' which are often called 'pee', in this case 80p.

Adenosine triphosphate is usually abbreviated to ATP, and ATP sounds the same as 80p.

Yeah it's awful. :P

[QUOTE="Silent_death7"][QUOTE="Pierst179"]

Knock knock....

I was just bluffing. I don't have any jokes. I am unfunny. :cry:

I have a joke that will make u fall out of your bed,even if u aren't in one!!!k,here it goes...cough... What does everyguy do when he see's your mom for the first time? they run away screaming cupcake,and why cupcake?I dun know,these are answers u must find for your self.lordiden

Good one, but I did not fall out, I Fallout, y'know what I'm saying?

This ones a little gross..

Ok so theres this starving guy living in the streets, right? He hasen't eaten for days, so he walks into this resturant looking for a hand out. He sits down next to this big ol' fat guy who's got all this food in front of him. As he's watching the fat guy eat he spys a bowl of chile off to the side. He says "Hey you gonna eat that?" fat guy says "No go ahead." So the skinny guys eating hes eating enjoying his meal but when he gets to the bottom theres a big juicy dog turd. Disgusted the skinny guy throws it up back into the bowl. Fat guy says "Yeah, that's the same thing I did."

Boy do i! Fight in the chip shop last night.. fish got battered.. *And hold for laughs* 8)Strider_91