But seriously, here are a few good reads from another forum (long)
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Yail's Inviting a Woman on a Date is 100% NormalPost
From reading some of the posts here, I get the impression that many of you guys think you are somehow doing something wrong by inviting a woman on a date.
I want you to pay attention to the wording of that phrase. I purposefully avoid the phrase "ask her out."
Why?
Because "asking her out" has all sorts of connotations that go back to when we were young kids. For youngsters, "asking her out" means asking her to "go steady."
Your purpose isn't to "ask her out." Your purpose is to invite her on a date so that you can spend time together and get to know one another.
When you see a woman you are attracted to, you need to realize that you don't have enough information about her. Most of men's attraction to women is based on her looks, so automatically we think she is perfect for us.
The problem is, you don't have enough information to make this determination.
You have criteria of what you want in a woman (and if you don't have criteria, you better spend some time figuring it out!).
How do you gain the information that you need?
First, you approach and talk to her. Then, you request her phone number. Next you plan a date, then call her and make the date invitation.
Very simple steps.
The problem is that men today do not believe this is normal. We think we are somehow doing something wrong when we try to do the steps. So instead, we look for shortcuts.
We give her our number, then bail because we are afraid of rejection.
We become friends with a girl, then confess our feelings to her.
These are shortcuts. You have to do the steps listed above.
The goal is not to somehow trick her or circumvent the steps. The goal is to discover is she's interested, while at the same time closely watching what she does to learn if she is the type of girl we would like to have a long term relationship with.
That last part is very important. Even if she's interested, we may discover she isn't right for us (because she's a smoker, has a chemical dependency, or whatever). That puts us in the position of dumping her.
Many of us have never dumped a girl early on. If she's willing to see us and **** us, we aren't going to dump her under any circumstances. This can get us in a lot of trouble (been there done that).
You need to examine your beliefs regarding meeting women and going on dates. If you find that your beliefs are not consistent with the reality that inviting women on dates and talking to women, and asking for their numbers is 100% normal and natural, then your beliefs need to be addressed and changed.
Do not fear "rejection." What is rejection, anways? Its a woman letting you know that she doesn't like you. Is it possible for every girl to like you and want to date you? Absolutely not!
When she rejects you, she is giving you information. Before you talked to her, you didn't know if she was right for you. Now you know for a fact that she isn't!
You can't get what you want without risking rejection. The key is how you deal with it. You can be happy that she let you know early on so you don't waste your time, or you can let it hurt you emotionally.
Dating used to be a huge mystery to me. So instead of learning how to do it, I would just date whatever girl showed the most interest in me. The problem was, they were choosing me over other guys, but I wasn't choosing them over anybody. So I ended up with women who weren't right for me.
How can you find the girl who is right for you, if you aren't out there dating many women? What are the odds of the first girl you meet being "the one?"
Keep it simple.
Talk to her. Get her number. Make a date. Invite her on the date.
If falls by the wayside at any of these steps, then so be it. She has made her decision, and she won't be looking back. Neither should you. Immediately start the process anew with a different woman.
You can let your fears get in the way, or you can feel those uncomfortable feelings and DO IT ANYWAY. That's what courage is: being afraid, but still taking the proper course of action.
And talking to her for the purpose of going on a date is the proper course of action.
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And if you're nervous:
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Women hardly ever get approached by calm, normal guys, in normal situations.
That's right. All of you who think women get hit on directly 10 times a day by people running any sort of normal, sober game, don't believe the hype. Next time you pull, talk to the girl about it during the debrief. Her actual reality will likely astound you.
Examples:
My last LTR was approached by normal, reasonable, datable men in a sober environment about once or twice a year. She was a solid 8+, who would get constantly honked at, leered at, and catcalled everywhere we walked. If I left her on a dance floor for 20 seconds, someone would try and hump her, but nobody ever approached in a normal manner. Hell, even when we went to the bar, I would go out with her and several of her friends in a 4-6 person group, me as the only guy, and her HB friends never even got approached in the bar. They were single and perpetually looking, and always talked about guys as we sat there.
Heck, you didn't need any fancy Mystery Method stuff to approach them. Nobody needed to AMOG me. As the "AMOG" of the group, I would have been happy to hook up a decent guy with one of my friends, and so would my GF at the time. I don't think anyone ever pulled one of them from a bar or party in the 3 1/2 years I went out with them in groups. Mostly it was because nobody approached.
A girl I work with, a true blue 9+, was so overwhelmed at the fact she was approached by a guy while she was eating lunch and he asked for her number that she was talking all about what she should do about it around the office with every girl and guy here for 2 whole days. I asked her if she was used to this, and she said "no, it doesn't happen much, usually its just creepy guys honking and making lewd comments" This girl is kinda a shy, wallflower type in spite of her extreme hotness, so she really has little experience with this stuff because she doesn't hang out in AFC venues where approaches happen.
I asked my friends how often they approach women. Most say never, or only when they are wasted. Most say its just not something they do, and they meet girls strictly through social circles.
Most men, it is simply not in their reality to approach women they don't know, except when alcohol or environment dictates that it is ok (pretty much high energy clubs and college party type environments). Ask some couples you know how they met. If it wasn't a social circle meet, I guarantee the girl will launch into a story about how she wanted him to come over all night and she sat and waited and finally she got lucky and he did. Think of all the women over your lifetime who probably sat across the bar captivated by you that all you would have had to do is just say "Hello" to and go from there.
The moral of the story is that even if you walk up to a girl and just talk AFC stuff while sober, with decent frame, body language, and a positive attitude, you are ahead of 80% of men already. You don't need a ton of fancy lines, theory, or gimmicks to make some headway, especially in day game. I've tried to be a "routine robot" and blast women with seduction technique, but all my best sarges have been low key and very, very mundane.
Within my first ten sets ever on here/ASF, I pulled same night on the first set I ever opened, and kept her as a FB all summer until she moved away. I also held a hour long set with a kiss close on a member of a WNBA team who was holed up in a 5 set of her teammates. Both were with the "AFC" Hello-and-vibe game. Then I started to try and spout routines and C+F and got nowhere for a few months. I went back to basic direct game (with some peacocking, cause its fun) and pulled again last weekend.
Just get out there and make some approaches. You will surprise yourself, and her.
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