Best excuse youve heard?

Im just wondering what are the best excuses youve heard. It can be about anything.

heres mine

Late for class

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Sorry I'm late sir. There was a cluster of African Americans blocking my way, so i had to walk around them.

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Why are you late?

The bell rang before i got here.

Caught watching porn. Told dad i was using it to help me with figure drawing. AAllxxjjnn

"Got out late for gym"
"I accidentaly spilled this slushie all over my locker and i had to clean it"

Thats only if i'm late for the period and it works every time. Though if i'm late for SCHOOL and its the first ****of the day i usually say something like

"My moms battery died in her truck we needed to jump it and i arrived late"

I lie to my teachers everyday

Teacher: Why don't you have your homework???

Student: I just got addicted to the beatles last night

Teacher: oh, extra credit

Teacher: where is your homework?

Studen: well um, my car got towed this morning and the homework was in there....Didn't work...lol

late to class

Perfect excuse. i went to fart when i was in the hallway and i sharted.

late to church.

my excuse was i was peeing and i zipped up to fast and got it stuck.

the preacher said as long as your thinking of god its ok.

late to church.

my excuse was i was peeing and i zipped up to fast and got it stuck.

the preacher said as long as your thinking of god its ok.

aaron6808

LOLOLOL!?:lol:

late to church.

my excuse was i was peeing and i zipped up to fast and got it stuck.

the preacher said as long as your thinking of god its ok.

aaron6808

Why'd you miss class?

Because I felt sleeping was more crucial to my brain's needs.

police officer: do you realize you just completely ran that red light?

me: yeah but it's not really my fault, the sun was in my eyes

police officer: :|

computer says "no"

"Why are you late?"
"I'm not - everyone else is early!"

I pulled this one in 8th grade and it got me a 90 on my homework:

teacher:where is your HW?

sparky: oh I left it on my computer(typing it ment extra credit)

teacher: ok bring it in tomorrow or no credit

NEXT DAY!

*I pull up a scrunched up piece of collage rule paper out of my backpack(did it last period)* here is my HW from last night miss!

teacher:I thought you said you left it on your computer?

sparky:I did it was on my keyboard were I left it! :P