Birds aren't sweet little things

So some of you know my ongoing battle with the local bird population. They kept me awake last year so I cut the tree down near the bedroom window. This year they just get on the fucking house, so I just shoot off into the hill to get them to fly before I bust a few in the air.

So my mom comes to drop something off and sees a few dead birds in my yard. "Poor sweet little birds," she scolds, "they ain't done nothing to you."

Poor and sweet my ass, birds are some of the most motherfuckingly evil creatures living. That birdsong you think is sweet is actually a territorial display of aggression. Do you know what birds do to an injured member of the flock? They peck its wounds till it dies.

Some birds will push their siblings from the nest so there's only one left. Some birds straight up push another birds egg out of a nest and replace it with their own, which will then hatch and push the other native birds out of the nest.

We have birds around here that like to peck out the eyes or newborn farm animals. Hell, female warblers straight-up murder each others chicks.

Seriously, if you think birds are cute cuddly little things, you don't know birds.

"Check it out Pesto...new car."

You're just being a dickhole.

Are you going to come and clean the bird shit off my house? Do you know what bird shit does to wood?

I don't think killing them is justified because they shit on your house. That is what dickholes do.

That's not very Zionist of you major

So you wouldn't take care of an infestation of termites? Same deal, they both cause structural damage.

Wow. Birds and humans have much more in common than I thought.

@uninspiredcup:

Most birds are cool with me. Just hate seagulls and geese. Geese are especially bad. Here they literally get beaches shut down by shitting so much in the water that it becomes unsafe to swim in. On top of that, they are aggressive shits.

Last year my GF and I went walking around the local nature center. We stopped by some water and was looking around spotting frogs and turtles. Some fucking goose ends up swimming over from across the pond and comes swimming straight at us and begins hissing. Mind you we were not by any goose chicks and were literally doing NOTHING but standing by the water.

I kept getting loud at the goose and putting my arms out every time it got close and that ended up keeping it at bay, but that fucking thing followed us down the shore a bit once we decided to move on. Was seriously thinking I was going to have to strangle a goose there.

We would, as a society, have been in your debt.

You failed us.

I don't mind birds in Canada. But I find them really fucking loud in Queensland. Some of them sound like monkeys laughing, and at 5:30am!

well, yeah.. on a hot grill with BBQ sauce.

No, he's right. Birds are essentially dinosaurs, and they're just as mean and nasty as anything out of Jurassic Park.

Yeah man, geese fucking suck. Did I ever tell you guys about that one goose that was so aggressive that it literally forced me to beat the shit out of it? That's a horrible feeling. No one wants to beat up a goose, but it gave me no other choice. Thankfully, he doesn't bother me any more, and he was also delicious.

Birds literally drove my brother to relocate from one apartment to another.

His original residence was situated near a river that attracted all manner of songbird, and the relentless cacophony that they generated at every hour of the day and night was so severe that he suffered from chronic insomnia and a litany of stress-related ailments.

He slaughtered scores of them with a high-powered pellet gun, but could never drive them away for long.

So he eventually capitulated, shouldered the costs of a move and the complications of changing his address, and simply moved to a suburb that was suitably far away from any freshwater features.

Having seen the deleterious effect that birds' unrelenting noise can have on the health and well-being of a family member, I'm very much inclined to be sympathetic towards people who resort to shooting noisy birds.

i like birds more than what i like humans

That's pretty silly, considering that birds don't give you internet or video games, and you also can't bang them. That's what gets me about people who don't like people. Most of the people who SAY they hate people (in my anecdotal experience) have no problem taking all of the benefits that are given to them by people. It's like, have you ever known a spoiled brat who'll say "**** you, mom, I hate your guts and I wish you were dead", and then two hours later that same spoiled brat is asking his mom if dinner is ready yet.

Some birds are nice, some are evil, take the cassowary: He will rip you appart for fun!

I recentely learned that ducks are rapists, so yeah....

Birds are awesome

Exploiting something has nothing to do with how you feel about it. He may genuinely like birds more than humans, even though he benefits much from the latter and nothing from the former.

It sounds horrible but I love seeing goose attack videos. Fucking terrifying birds but so hilarious to see someone else get chased and honked at by those monstrosities.

Imagine a 4 year old Grimdalus minding his own fucking business and a goose decides to fucking chase him.

You may have been near their nest where they might have had eggs. Geese, around here at least, don't normally get aggressive unless they're nesting and you get too close.

The "Arms out to the side" method, or really anything to make yourself look bigger, is the easiest way to keep an aggressive goose at bay.

To the thread at large, I don't have much respect for a person that kills an animal simply because he's inconvenienced by it.

So are dolphins

I immediately thought about Ed, Edd, and Eddy where Eddy hates birds. Great show.

Liking something absolutely has to do with it providing you with something. People don't like their friends for no reason, they like their friends because their friends are providing something of value. It's pretty damn silly to pretend to dislike something that gives you everything you fucking have, while loving something that doesn't give you jack shit.

Dolphins are messed up. Dolphins can be homicidal and have been known to kill for fun.

I don't think you people realize how bad bird shit is for a house. I just built this place, no way in hell I'm letting birds ruin it.

• Wood–In addition to uric acid, bird droppings contain many fungi and accumulations of droppings can create an environment for wood-decomposing fungi to thrive and damage wooden structures.
• Paint–research has shown thatacids in droppings may damage some paints, but are not the only source of damage. Many paints warm when they expand, and then cool around the droppings, causing the paint to be etched. Fungi in droppings may also damage paints.
• Roofing–tar-based roofing materials are particularly vulnerable to damage. Bird droppings damage exposed SBS modified bitumen roof mem­branes by facilitating the erosion of the granular surface–exposing the underlying asphalt to additional damage by the droppings and to UV damage.

I don't kill anyone just cause he/she is mean and nasty. 95% of humanity would be dead then.

If you assume that I supported the wars in Gaza you're wrong.

You never did answer rather you'd take it out on termites that were eating your house.

Get a power washer...

Don't need to, I have a 16-gauge.

I have a bird phobia. They scare the crap out of me. They make cry and cower. They have beady little eyes and razor sharp beaks and stalk you. Enough said.

Maybe as a very last resort. In your case it's not a last resort.

Hawks and Eagles are my favorite animals...but I've been attacked by a male Canadian Goose when I wandered too close to a female laying eggs, nasty business.

Can't you just put wire meshing around nooks and crannies the birds might use?

That plus installing a life-sized painted sculpture of say, an owl on the roof. Here in my neighborhood, I see a number of houses with sculptures of different birds of prey. They seem to be good at keeping other birds away.

Just because when we like something it's largely owing to utility doesn't mean we like everything that provides us utility. It is possible to exploit something and derive value from it even though we feel strong aversion to it, hence the word exploit. Note that causality doesn't work both ways; the fact that we like something therefore we derive utility from it doesn't mean we derive utility from something therefore we like it.

Our relations to things is governed by a ratio of utility and pain, for nothing is purely either. We like something when the ratio is in favor of utility and we dislike it when it's against it; it is possible that the ratio of utility to pain the guy shares humans is worse than that of birds', however improbable and absurd this may sound.

Nevertheless, sentimentality transcends crude calculations and therefore isn't governed by them but we shall not go there.

And like I said...assuming he isn't just plain lying, "that's pretty silly." Hell, I could understand the guy actually having a higher ratio-of-pain than ratio-of-utility if he were trapped in a dungeon and forced to subside on rats while being tortured every night. But considering that he even has the luxury of hanging out on video game websites, that kind of situation isn't very freaking likely. That makes it pretty freaking silly to like humans more than birds.

That's all that it is, assuming. We know nothing about the guy other than that he's hanging out on a gaming forum; that's too little to base a judgement on.

But the problem with your logic is that you're assuming that he's deriving tremendous utility from people while having no indication of that; hanging out on a gaming forum is a utility he most likely pays for out of his own pocket. The same goes to most of what you may propose as utility derived from people.

Who said they were.

Seagulls and geese...They are mobilising and they are coming for us all. I dislike them both but at least with geese if they attack you all you have to do is grab him by the neck and pull; blasted seagulls just fly by, rip you open and come back around with friends...

If the war starts I'm joining the crows and ravens' side.

The only bird I have a problem is really just Woodpeckers. I have 2 Woodpeckers pecking the backyard of my house for a month and it's hurting my woods when they do that crap. I don't like killing Animals and I'm not gonna start now but we as a Human have to learn that Earth is not ours, it belongs to everyone who lives here. I'm considering thinking of buying an Owl Statue to scare them off.

My interest for cars combined with birds who tend to take a dump pretty much anywhere they please doesn't really connect that well. I hate birds too, unless they stay off my car ofc.

Was sitting outside. Get a drop of shit on my pant leg. Watched the bird fly towards it's nest in a tree. Cut the tree down.