Conversation with a hom.o.sexual

NOTE: I wanted the title of my thread to read "Conversation with a Homosexual" but the censor wouldn't let me!

There seem to be so many threads about gays, gay marriage, gay adoption, etc... and most of the conversation is between heterosexuals. I thought it might be interesting to open up a thread for discussion with an openly gay forum poster. I'd like you to ask me any questions you have regarding homosexuality, what life is like as a homosexual, politics, religion... anything.

I'm a very accepting and tolerant individual. I respect moral opposition to homosexuality on the grounds of religion, etc, so I'm not going to attack your religion or morals, etc. Feel free to ask anything !!! (Within the realm of what I can respond to as layed out in the ToU).



To start the discussion, I would first like to say that I was raised in a strongly Christian household, I went to church regularly, and I battled with my sexuality for a long time. I hated myself. I tried so hard to be straight. Even to this day, if there was some miracle cure that could make me straight I'd seriously consider taking it (almost definitely would). Many gays disagree with this. They fear a "cure" for homosexuality, saying it destroys who they are. I disagree, I don't define myself as a homosexual, I define myself as a human being. My attraction to the same sex is a small part of me. And no, I don't hate myself anymore, I am happy with the person that I am. But, hey, let's face it, we live in a world that is about 90% straight, and it would be a hell of a lot easier to find potential romantic interests if I were straight.

Anyway, with that said, please feel free to ask any questions!

Saying that you're Gay + Gamespot + Idiots = A lot of gay jokes & insults.

You're a brave man, I'll give you that.

Saying that you're Gay + Gamespot + Idiots = A lot of gay jokes & insults. /Thread.

TheLordRagnarok

Haha, thank you for the warning. I'm sure my ego will be able to handle it though ^_^

Not everyone here is going to be rude!

do you want to be straight because its easier, or because of your religionhormagaunt

I'm not a christian anymore, so no, it's not because of religion. And I don't wakingly wish I were straight. But, if it were a choice, and I could be straight, it would definitely benefit me to choose it.

Society accepts heterosexual couples much more readily. I could hold my partner's hand without experiencing icy glares from people walking by (actually happens), I could go up to a girl and hit on her and I wouldn't have to be afraid of getting called a *** or bullied by a bunch of homophobes. And there would be a hell of a lot more people I could potentially date.

Also, it would be a lot easier for me to have a kid if I ever wanted one.

This thread does not deliverRavirr

On what?

Why do you think Bard Pitt has a nice butt when he clearly has an average one?Ilived

Haha. Well, actually... it's because he needs the confidence boost. The ladies just don't adore him enough as it is, so we gays have all agreed to be very nice to him.

This thread does not deliverRavirr

I agree.

Do you want to make out with me.MoonSpoon

I want to make out with anyone who has rhyming, alliteration, or onomatopoeia in their username (with NO numbers), so... I think you can figure out the answer for yourself.

[QUOTE="hormagaunt"]do you want to be straight because its easier, or because of your religiondrewtwo99

I'm not a christian anymore, so no, it's not because of religion. And I don't wakingly wish I were straight. But, if it were a choice, and I could be straight, it would definitely benefit me to choose it.

Society accepts heterosexual couples much more readily. I could hold my partner's hand without experiencing icy glares from people walking by (actually happens), I could go up to a girl and hit on her and I wouldn't have to be afraid of getting called a *** or bullied by a bunch of homophobes. And there would be a hell of a lot more people I could potentially date.

Also, it would be a lot easier for me to have a kid if I ever wanted one.

[QUOTE="drewtwo99"]

[QUOTE="hormagaunt"]do you want to be straight because its easier, or because of your religionDeeJayInphinity

I'm not a christian anymore, so no, it's not because of religion. And I don't wakingly wish I were straight. But, if it were a choice, and I could be straight, it would definitely benefit me to choose it.

Society accepts heterosexual couples much more readily. I could hold my partner's hand without experiencing icy glares from people walking by (actually happens), I could go up to a girl and hit on her and I wouldn't have to be afraid of getting called a *** or bullied by a bunch of homophobes. And there would be a hell of a lot more people I could potentially date.

Also, it would be a lot easier for me to have a kid if I ever wanted one.

That's what sucks about a lot of people; they're so intolerant. :( But don't let that get you down, dude, it's probably just temporary. Keep up the good fight.DeeJayInphinity

Thanks for the encouragement! I don't really think of it as a fight though, as honestly, the discrimination I encounter is NOTHING compared to what other minorities face, and the terrible conditions in many other countries of Africa and the Middle East that gays face.

I am lucky to live in America, and it's really not that bad. I don't mean to make it sound like this terrible, awful thing, but being straight would definitely be a lot easier.

We can only hope it's temporary.
brendandick

People have a right to hate that which they feel is immoral and devastating. If people see homosexuality as a sin, I don't want them to tolerate it. I want them to fight for their beliefs.

[QUOTE="brendandick"] We can only hope it's temporary.
drewtwo99

People have a right to hate that which they feel is immoral and devastating. If people see homosexuality as a sin, I don't want them to tolerate it. I want them to fight for their beliefs.

Ok, serious question. You said that you tried to be strait right? How did you go about that? Like did you just try to make the whole jump all at once or did you give yourself time to work yourself over little by little?VacantPsalm

Years in late teenage years of forcing myself to try to be attracted to girls. Looking at straight porn. Refusing to let homosexual fantasies be carried out in my head. Went to counseling. Talked with friends.

How did you go about that? Like did you just try to make the whole jump all at once or did you give yourself time to work yourself over little by little?VacantPsalm

I tried to convince myself that I was actually attracted to women, and tried to ignore guys, it didn't work and I ended up depressed. And I tried it little by little, I guess.

Damn, you really know how to be tolerant. :lol: :P Nice to see that kind of thing.DeeJayInphinity

Thank you.

To me it's no different than someone believing polygamy is wrong. Or beastiality. Or pedophilia. There are moral objections to all of those things, things I don't concern myself with, but I don't think it's fair to expect people to suspend their deeply rooted moral beliefs in effort to be more accepting of everyone and every belief and every lifesty-le If someone said that I needed to accept murder as acceptable moral behavior I'd tell them to go suck a lemon.

[QUOTE="brendandick"] We can only hope it's temporary.
drewtwo99

People have a right to hate that which they feel is immoral and devastating. If people see homosexuality as a sin, I don't want them to tolerate it. I want them to fight for their beliefs.

Are you a furry? (Serious question and not meant in a negative way)Ravirr

I'm not sure what that means. Does it have to do with internet hand drawn/computer animated porn?

[QUOTE="drewtwo99"]

[QUOTE="brendandick"] We can only hope it's temporary.
brendandick

People have a right to hate that which they feel is immoral and devastating. If people see homosexuality as a sin, I don't want them to tolerate it. I want them to fight for their beliefs.

That's true! I agree with you 100%

Being a dependent person in my household full of catholics, I feel you. Until I'm financially ready to move on, I feel like I'm hiding when I shouldn't.

I'm DL, and I don't go to the village often because I have the potential to insult people without meaning to. I flinch when I see 2 guys or 2 girls holding hands (I'm bi, but it's still new to me), and I made a trangender gasp when I called her a dude by mistake. How do I get rid of that kind of behavior, so that I don't insult anyone anymore.

Being a dependent person in my household full of catholics, I feel you. Until I'm financially ready to move on, I feel like I'm hiding when I shouldn't.

I'm DL, and I don't go to the village often because I have the potential to insult people without meaning to. I flinch when I see 2 guys or 2 girls holding hands (I'm bi, but it's still new to me), and I made a trangender gasp when I called her a dude by mistake. How do I get rid of that kind of behavior, so that I don't insult anyone anymore.

Benjamin-T

I'm not sure what DL means. And, what kind of behavior are you trying to change?

[QUOTE="Ravirr"]Are you a furry? (Serious question and not meant in a negative way)drewtwo99

I have no idea what that means. Does it have to do with internet hand drawn/computer animated porn?

Just curious. My brother is a furry (people who dress up like animals) He is gay and it is composed mainly of a gay community from what I hear from him. Not saying all gays are furries but just curious haha. You're tolerance is commendable, a mutual respect helps push ideas further.

You are who you are bro, you don't owe anyone an explanation, so i say good for you dude, love is universal regardless of sexual preference, as long as youre happy for who you are, nothing else matters:).Honenheim

Thank you for your kind words. It is true though that while sexual orientation is not consciously chosen by the individual, sexual actions are. And it is the action of individuals that anti-gay sentiment is aimed towards.

[QUOTE="drewtwo99"]

[QUOTE="Ravirr"]Are you a furry? (Serious question and not meant in a negative way)Ravirr

I have no idea what that means. Does it have to do with internet hand drawn/computer animated porn?

Just curious. My brother is a furry (people who dress up like animals) He is gay and it is composed mainly of a gay community from what I hear from him. Not saying all gays are furries but just curious haha. You're tolerance is commendable, a mutual respect helps push ideas further.

Haha, ok. No I never dressed up like an animal, but I have to say I might not be opposed to the idea >_

[QUOTE="Ravirr"][QUOTE="drewtwo99"]

[QUOTE="Ravirr"]Are you a furry? (Serious question and not meant in a negative way)drewtwo99

I have no idea what that means. Does it have to do with internet hand drawn/computer animated porn?

Just curious. My brother is a furry (people who dress up like animals) He is gay and it is composed mainly of a gay community from what I hear from him. Not saying all gays are furries but just curious haha. You're tolerance is commendable, a mutual respect helps push ideas further.

Haha, ok. No I never dressed up like an animal, but I have to say I might not be opposed to the idea >_

My brother is a fox -=^.^=-

If you lived here in Alabama, you would probably have your yard vandalized daily, and people would threaten and/or hurt you. If you had to go through that, would you still be openly gay1stCommando

Probably not. I've never faced that level of persecution. I'd like to say I'm a strong enough individual to stand up to that and voice what I am in the face of such rude behavior, but I'm probably not that strong of a person. I'd probably keep my mouth shut and move to a different place.

My brother is a fox -=^.^=-

Ravirr

When does he do that? Like... is it a sexual thing? or is it just for fun at random furry gatherings, etc?

I respect moral opposition to homosexuality on the grounds of religion, etc, so I'm not going to attack your religion or morals, etc.

drewtwo99

Here's my question...why the HELL would you respect bigotry just because "god says that gays are totally lame"?

**** that, dude. Do you respect people's decision to stone women to death just because they got raped? Because that kind of **** is STILL happening today. Just like how christian fundamentalists are trying to destroy education because they think god wants them to be stupid, and how gay people like yourself are discriminated against UNDER LAW largely because of religious reasons.

My question to a gay guy is...how can you see that **** and still say that you RESPECT it? Because I see that **** all the time, and it makes me ****ing sick to my stomach.

[QUOTE="Ravirr"]

My brother is a fox -=^.^=-

drewtwo99

When does he do that? Like... is it a sexual thing? or is it just for fun at random furry gatherings, etc?

Mm, I try to stay out of his sex life. Not something I like hearing about, not just cause he is gay but cause he is my brother. He has said some do it for sex, but he does it for social events. They go to cons a lot, he does a ski weekend where they all get in there fur suits and hit the slopes.

[QUOTE="1stCommando"]If you lived here in Alabama, you would probably have your yard vandalized daily, and people would threaten and/or hurt you. If you had to go through that, would you still be openly gaydrewtwo99

Probably not. I've never faced that level of persecution. I'd like to say I'm a strong enough individual to stand up to that and voice what I am in the face of such rude behavior, but I'm probably not that strong of a person. I'd probably keep my mouth shut and move to a different place.

You are a brave individual drewtwo, very brave. Just wanted to throw that out there.

Edit: I had confused the TC's name for commando, my bad:P

[QUOTE="drewtwo99"]

I respect moral opposition to homosexuality on the grounds of religion, etc, so I'm not going to attack your religion or morals, etc.

MrGeezer

Here's my question...why the HELL would you respect bigotry just because "god says that gays are totally lame"?

**** that, dude. Do you respect people's decision to stone women to death just because they got raped? Because that kind of **** is STILL happening today. Just like how christian fundamentalists are trying to destroy education because they think god wants them to be stupid, and how gay people like yourself are discriminated against UNDER LAW largely because of religious reasons.

My question to a gay guy is...how can you see that **** and still say that you RESPECT it? Because I see that **** all the time, and it makes me ****ing sick to my stomach.

That's a difficult question to answer. On a personal note, I do not automatically accept and respect people's actions (aka stoning or lawfully instituted discrimination), but their opinions and views of morality. To accept an respect an action, I must agree with it rationally and emotionally.

[QUOTE="drewtwo99"]

[QUOTE="1stCommando"]If you lived here in Alabama, you would probably have your yard vandalized daily, and people would threaten and/or hurt you. If you had to go through that, would you still be openly gay1stCommando

Probably not. I've never faced that level of persecution. I'd like to say I'm a strong enough individual to stand up to that and voice what I am in the face of such rude behavior, but I'm probably not that strong of a person. I'd probably keep my mouth shut and move to a different place.

Why am I gay?

I wish I knew. Probably hormonal imbalances in my mother's womb. A lot of research is showing that hormones during pregnancy have a lot to do with homosexuality. There are almost certainly genetic factors involved as well, as evidenced in a lot of research in both animals and humans.

How long have I known I was gay?

Probably around 13 or 14.

How old am I?

I'm 21, almost 22.

Are people born gay/straight?

Probably. There were no defining factors of my life that I can identify that lead me to homosexuality. Despite the best influence from my christian parents, and society's structure to accept heterosexuality, I still turned out gay However, what is a choice, is my own actions. I choose to live a homosexual life seeking out romantic interests.

[QUOTE="drewtwo99"][QUOTE="Ravirr"]

My brother is a fox -=^.^=-

Ravirr

When does he do that? Like... is it a sexual thing? or is it just for fun at random furry gatherings, etc?

Mm, I try to stay out of his sex life. Not something I like hearing about, not just cause he is gay but cause he is my brother. He has said some do it for sex, but he does it for social events. They go to cons a lot, he does a ski weekend where they all get in there fur suits and hit the slopes.

Haha, yeah, sorry to ask about your brother's sex life. I have a sister and I don't necessarily want to hear about hers either, so I know how you feel. Thanks for educating me about furries!

You are a brave individual drewtwo, very brave. Just wanted to throw that out there.

Edit: I had confused the TC's name for commando, my bad:P

C-Himura

Well, I don't know if I'm brave... there are some really wonderful activists out there who have done a lot more than I have, and they are definitely brave.

do u know in iran where i live,government execute ppl like u?,so seriously u have a more important work to do than explaining ur sexual purpose to OT ppl, u should support those ppl who are waiting now for their execution day,go and use the power that living in a free country has gave u.:xfallconet

fallconet... you have no idea how deeply saddened I am by this fact. I do know about this in Iran, and in other middle eastern and african countries. I mentioned this earlier in another post. I honestly just don't know how I can help.

When did you come out? Did it sorta just become a rumor at school then you had too??jjr10

I came out to different people at different times. First I came out to people on the internet, who had no connection to me in real life. I eventually came out to a few very close friends who I knew could keep a secret. I told my sister after that. I then told some other people at school who I figured would spread the word around (and they did), and people pretty much knew. I came out to my father when I was 16, who then told my mother. I've most recently been outed by my cousins who I recently told to my father's side who had previously been unaware. My maternal grandparents still don't know.