I used to work at a grocery store in a bad neighborhood. And there was a liquor store right next to the grocery store. So I've definitely met my share of creepy-ass people. These two win the top award. I only ever saw either of them once, but meeting them once creeped me out enough to put them ahead of the "regular" creepy customers...
1) So...we have garbage cans in the parking lot. So that customers can throw their trash in the garbage can instead of just dropping it on the ground. One time, my boss told me to go outside and empty the trash cans in the parking lot. So I walk out and start taking out the trash. And I notice this dirty looking bum just standing there watching me. Not doing anything...just watching me. Eventually I get to a particular garbage can and start to empty it. Then this dude RUNS over to me as fast as possible, stops right in front of me, and is just staring at me.
And at that point, I get a good look at the dude. Greasy as hell, sweat pouring down his face (despite it being nearly freezing), and his eyes were black. Seriously. Honest to god, his WHOLE eyes were just BLACK. So I have this greasy sweaty dude staring at me, and honest to god I thought he looked like a demon straight out of hell. I was on the verge of pissing my pants in fear, because at that point I SERIOUSLY thought that there was a very real chanc that he'd either eat my soul or drag me down to Hell, or some other equally awful **** that you might see on an episode of The X-Files. So I'm right about to soil my pants out of sheer terror, when this dude says "MINE!!!" Then he kicks the garbage can over and runs away.
And at that point...fear sort of quickly changed into confusion.
He was standing there watching me empty the garbage cans. What was so important abnout this PARTICULAR garbage can that he has to almost eat my soul because I was about to empty it?
And secondly, if he was that concerned about me emptying that particular garbage can, why did he tip it over and then immediately run away as if he'd just committed murder?
Nothing about that scenario made an ounce of sense.
2) Second creepy guy. So...as I mentioned, the grocery store where I worked is right next to a liquor store. The smoking area is right between the grocery store and the liquor store, with a couple of benches for smokers to sit on. So one day I'm sitting on the bench during a smoke break, and this dirty bum sits on the bench across from me. Which doesn't make any difference to me, since I see bums every day. So I'm sitting there smoking my cigarette, ignorin the bum, and just looking at what a nice day it is. Suddenly I here the guy say "I'm not funny!"
At that point I assume that the bum is about to fight someone, so I turn my head to see what's happening. Turns out that he's staring directly at me, and his comment was directed towads me. As soon as I make eye contact with him, he repeats the same comment, only this time SCREAMING..."I'M NOT FUNNY!!!"
My reply: "Uh...okay."
His reply: he rolls his eyes back and then pisses his goddamn pants. Then he falls asleep.
At that point I'm like, "the hell with nicotine, that guy just completely ruined my smoke break." So I go inside to get back to work. On the way back inside, I stop and tell a manager that someone probably ought to do sometrhing about the dude outside. Because at worst, he seems like he could possibly be violently dangerous. And at best, having a crazy dude pissing his pants and yelling at random people probably isn't very good for business.
Anyway, about 5 hours later, I took my second smoke break and the dude was still there. Only this time, he was also smeared with what was apparently his own feces, and he also was eating a bag of Cheetos. Meaning that he apparently sat there all day, bought a bag of Cheetos from the liquor store, and then pooped his pants, rubbed his own feces all over himself, and them resumed eating Cheetos. Either that, or he smeared his own poop all over himself BEFORE walking into the liquor store and buying a bag of Cheetos. In either case, the pointis that the dude was apparently sitting around creeping the **** out of people for at LEAST a good 5 hours before he either left on his own or was removed from the premises. And by all accounts, he spent that ENTIRE time soiling his own pants, sitting in his own filth, and screaming crazy ass *** to customers and eployees.I don't know why it took so long for that guy to get removed from the premises, but I thank God that I never saw him again after that.
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