Do I really need to pay for everything to "get" her?

The girl I'm interested in even mentioned once that "guys should pay for everything sometimes" but I'm not sure if she was 100% serious given the situation (friendly banter after work).

Its embarrassing because to start off she's 2 years older than me (I'm 20), studies abroad and earns more than me. So that in itself is another problem.

I barely earn any money. The money I do earn is spent at the gym, paying off small fees, and the rest leisure (like REALLY small).

Generally people say (especially on the second date) that guys should pay for everything to let her know you aren't cheap or you're willing to sacrifice a little for her....

But I find that it's bull****. Okay as a friend maybe I should treat her out sometime but to actually "impress" her or to "get her attention" is complete horse****. If personality is what matters why should I pay for the dinner? What do you guys think?

I agree, thats bull. I suggest you charm her, y`know, be yourself. No need to pretend you have a lot of money and end up broke because of her. If she doesn`t like you, your personality, then just....move on. ;)

hole2score

This man knows his stuff.

So let me get this straight, you want her but you dont want to pay for her meal or anything? I'm sorry man I dont even have a job and I always pay. Even a year later I don't make my girlfriend pay for anything

My girlfriend loves to dodge the payments heh, it's like when I go to buy something from a bakery and while I'm being served, she will jump in and say "oh and get me one of those Danish whirls!" So I add a Danish Whirl to the checkout and she sinks off into the background while I pay :P

I guess it depends on the woman... Some do like to be bribed.

So let me get this straight, you want her but you dont want to pay for her meal or anything? I'm sorry man I dont even have a job and I always pay. Even a year later I don't make my girlfriend pay for anything

gibson-les-rick

You make it sound like you're doing the right thing.

The girl I'm interested in even mentioned once that "guys should pay for everything sometimes" but I'm not sure if she was 100% serious given the situation (friendly banter after work).

Its embarrassing because to start off she's 2 years older than me (I'm 20), studies abroad and earns more than me. So that in itself is another problem.

I barely earn any money. The money I do earn is spent at the gym, paying off small fees, and the rest leisure (like REALLY small).

Generally people say (especially on the second date) that guys should pay for everything to let her know you aren't cheap or you're willing to sacrifice a little for her....

But I find that it's bull****. Okay as a friend maybe I should treat her out sometime but to actually "impress" her or to "get her attention" is complete horse****. If personality is what matters why should I pay for the dinner? What do you guys think?

lonewolf604

So let me get this straight, you want her but you dont want to pay for her meal or anything? I'm sorry man I dont even have a job and I always pay. Even a year later I don't make my girlfriend pay for anything

gibson-les-rick

[QUOTE="gibson-les-rick"]

So let me get this straight, you want her but you dont want to pay for her meal or anything? I'm sorry man I dont even have a job and I always pay. Even a year later I don't make my girlfriend pay for anything

lonewolf604

Tap him for all he's worth, then when he's depth reaches around 25k in the minus dump him for someone new.

[QUOTE="gibson-les-rick"]

So let me get this straight, you want her but you dont want to pay for her meal or anything? I'm sorry man I dont even have a job and I always pay. Even a year later I don't make my girlfriend pay for anything

lonewolf604

Like someone said before, buy her things that you can afford, relationship is based on feelings not on money, no need to go to a restaurant and buy, say, a flamed lobster for 700 $. Your romantic evening can be even in McDonald`s, its all about the mood.

A relationship in which one is happy is rather more important than a relationship that conforms to societal expectations. If a woman doesn't want to go out with you on account of your refusal to pay for everything despite her making much more money than you, then that sounds like a relationship that would probably be doomed to failure from the get-go if it were allowed to go anywhere anyway. I would wager money that she's not going to get less demanding later.

i'm in the exact same situation,in fact i'm going to stop dating this girl i just dated for once.cause she acts like i've got to pay for everything and i'm not forrest gump.

[QUOTE="gibson-les-rick"]

So let me get this straight, you want her but you dont want to pay for her meal or anything? I'm sorry man I dont even have a job and I always pay. Even a year later I don't make my girlfriend pay for anything

lonewolf604

There is no need whatsoever. Unless she is a shallow selfish ***** who only cares about your wallet. The interesting ones that actually think for themselves are more likely to be impresed by you if you don't pay her part.

Men have this idea that they should pay up for everything but the message you're sending is more "I, I'm a boring idiot and I'm trying to conquer you by bribing you, but in thruth I'm worthless".
In the past, when the man made all the money it made more than perfect sense. But today? Remember that whole feminism thing? In my opinion paying for everything is more of an insult than anything.

I'm not saying you should never pay. It's ok to pay sometimes. But she should do it sometimes to. It takes 2 to tango after all. If you keep paying but she refuses to, you love her far more than she does you.

Any girl with minimal self-worth will be more than ok with spliting. Don't be a tool.

People are getting me wrong here, I don't say its the right thing, I like doing it and I love my girlfriend enough to do it. If you don't wanna pay thats your choice but it leaves a bad impression especially on a first date. I don't spend big either I spend within my means

People are getting me wrong here, I don't say its the right thing, I like doing it and I love my girlfriend enough to do it. If you don't wanna pay thats your choice but it leaves a bad impression especially on a first date. I don't spend big either I spend within my means

gibson-les-rick

It leaves a bad impression on women who believe that men ought to pay for everything no matter what, which may or may not be a bad thing. :P

If she is making you pay for anything then move on cause thats just not right at all. You should take turns in paying for things or go halves on things, but don't let her get away with you paying stuff, if thats what this relationship is built on then its not right.

I think thats the old fashioned mind set

If she really loved you she would go half atleast ;)

It fine to pay for them once in awhile but if a partner would tell me that I'm supposed to pay for everything for her because that's what we men are "supposed" to do, I'd tell her to go find herself a new man.

I ain't a ATM machine.

For me... if it was my idea to go, I felt obligated to pay. If it was really her idea to go, and I just wasn't in the mood at all, I wouldn't feel obligated to pay at all, unless it was a large amount. In those cases, I'd just order something small. But yeah, there will probably be times you want to go, and times she wants to, so maybe you could decide on a case by case who should pay, and maybe how much you think you might've exceed the unspoken order limitation (i.e. an amount that would probably be uncomfortable for her).

I leave you with this.

So let me get this straight, you want her but you dont want to pay for her meal or anything? I'm sorry man I dont even have a job and I always pay. Even a year later I don't make my girlfriend pay for anything

gibson-les-rick

For me... if it was my idea to go, I felt obligated to pay. If it was really her idea to go, and I just wasn't in the mood at all, I wouldn't feel obligated to pay at all, unless it was a large amount. In those cases, I'd just order something small. But yeah, there will probably be times you want to go, and times she wants to, so maybe you could decide on a case by case who should pay, and maybe how much you think you might've exceed the unspoken order limitation (i.e. an amount that would probably be uncomfortable for her).

LovePotionNo9

You should spend at least a good amount of money. Before my gf and i started going out, i spent nearly $50 on her birthday present. it might not seem like a lot but i only knew her for about a month. She ended up dating someone else besides me after that though, but we remained close friends. About 4 and a half months ago i worked up the courage to ask her out. And she said yes. Funny thing is, we've never been on an expensive date. Here is what you do... just invite her over for a movie. Dates don't have to be expensive dinners or anything. Just invite her over for coffee and a movie. It works for me. Plus i save tons of money.

Dont pay for her. The general rule I go by is, the one who invites, pays. If you invite her to dinner, you pay. If she invites you to dinner, or suggetsts it, she pays.

I think she wasexagerating yeah. Us men should pay for most of the things but not everything.

No you shouldn't just start asking her abour concepts such as equality, If she thinks women deserve it then you should make the argument that they should also have equal share in the bills...

i offer to pay, whether im trying to get in her pants or not

just the way i was brought up i guess, and i dont mind doing it (im not rich or anything)

If she likes you I'm sure she won't have a problem paying for some things.

If personality is what matters why should I pay for the dinner?lonewolf604

Because of what matters to the personality.

Ok by now you should have gotten some practical advice but im going to say it anyways:

Mistake #1: Asking for girl advice on gamespot....you might as well go on **** and ask.

Mistake #2:Your in your 20 and you still dont know how to play the game with girls (dont worry lots of people dont, and the rules are always changing, and most likely you cant win because.If your succesfull the prize is always the same. And if your succesfull in a relationship then you get married=Game OVER)

Now for the little advice I can offer you based on my own experience. (note: Good Judgement comes form Experience, Experience comes from the use of Bad Judgement!!!)

#1. Have a relationship only with a girl that you genuinely like. This might seem obvious but trust me if Megan Fox all of a sudden becomes interested in you and you start going out, but then you notice shes really **** and stuck up and aside from looks theres not much else you like about her then guess what....

#2 Make sure you can be yourself around a girl. By this i dont mean to pick your nose and fartall the time while playing WOW and not having showeredfor over 24 hours.But hey if you like her she might as well like you.

#3 If you invite and its your idea...then you deffinitley pay. Dont bringup money issues like who pays until your in an established relationship and your absolutely sure your not being petty about it.

#4 This one is unlikely but it does happen every now and then but somehow I get the impression its not going to have this problem. Think 80's movie type girls who only fall for a dude because he has money or is all of a sudden popular. Yes there are some girls out there who just like to use guys and get them todrive heraround andpay for all her friends drinks and what not. These type of girls however tend to stick mostly to douche bags...One way to spot them through the use of ED Hardy or other sparkly t shirts and jeans or fake tans (jersey shore type)

#5 Be honest if your broke dont be ashamed just say it..but dont just blurt out "Im broke"

#6 If youre not broke dont be a cheapskate but dont be overly splendid, just stick to your budget (this one is very delicate, its the make it or break it, you master this step and your set for life.

#7 Half the population on the globe are female so there is bound to be one or two out there for you.

It's personal choice, so no, you don't "have to". I pay for things more often than my girl, but I make significantly more right now so it's understandable. And she still offers to pay a lot of the times, which is good enough for me.

It's generally accepted that the guy treats the girl more often than the other way around. That's just how it is, like how women are expected to cook for men more often. You take the upsides and the downsides (make sure you're getting your benefits too ;) ). If you guys split every bill wherever you go, then that's pretty sad and a bit of a hassle.

edit: oh but when it comes for shopping, stay away (lol). You don't want to start paying for a woman's clothes and shoes and all that...

I would be upfront about it:

You: Listen babe I don't have the money

Her: Your body is enough darling

You: Girl why don't you meet me at my place? I Have cookies

Her: Only if you're paying

You: No you pay!

Her: But...

You: Horse ****!

Her: Hey!

You: Bull ****!

Her: Well I wouldn't dare!!!

You: Touching shoulder

Her: nevermind