do you think beating up small kids will make them better? is strictness ok?

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youruser

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#1 youruser
Member since 2009 • 289 Posts

kinda like strict parents thing.

i now that mom's big brother used to hit his boy a lot, that was whenver i went on my uncle's house on vacations and occassions i have seen him as such always too strict, now that his boy is married, he does not seem to even respect his father.

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RushMetallica

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#2 RushMetallica
Member since 2007 • 4501 Posts
Not really, as it says to the kid that violence is the answer, which it is right now, but we should try to decrease the amount of violence that we use. If that makes any sense.
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perphekt

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#3 perphekt
Member since 2009 • 1096 Posts
No. Never 'beat' a child. That's horrible parenting.
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D0ub13_5c0r3

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#4 D0ub13_5c0r3
Member since 2009 • 2084 Posts
No. Never 'beat' a child. That's horrible parenting.perphekt
I agree, but punish them in some way that doesn't involve hitting. And not alot of yelling, either.
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KenshinGirl

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#5 KenshinGirl
Member since 2004 • 9454 Posts
Being strict is one thing, beating your kid is another. My stepdad used to take anything and beat us with it. Ash shovel, board, frying pan, switches, you name it.
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youruser

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#6 youruser
Member since 2009 • 289 Posts

i do not mind being a father of a over spoiled child really.:P but i will be strict in terms of saying and making the children understand whats good and wrong but strict only by saying things, not like beating them up.

i too was beaten up by mom at childhood days but not that much.

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TonyTcite

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#7 TonyTcite
Member since 2009 • 456 Posts

yeah, my dad was really strict and i dont even see him no more.

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dracula_16

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#8 dracula_16
Member since 2005 • 16572 Posts

That's uncalled for. The kid will have it implanted in his/her mind that anything can be overcome with violence. If that's how the parents will raise the kid, they shouldn't be surprised when their kid grows up to be a deranged psychopath.

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Shhadow_Viper

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#9 Shhadow_Viper
Member since 2009 • 2300 Posts

"Beat" hell no. But a spank on the bottom can be worth a thousand lectures for a child that is too young to reason with. Like a toddler chasing a ball into the street, or trying to reach onto a hot stove.

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KenshinGirl

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#10 KenshinGirl
Member since 2004 • 9454 Posts

That's uncalled for. The kid will have it implanted in his/her mind that anything can be overcome with violence. If that's how the parents will raise the kid, they shouldn't be surprised when their kid grows up to be a deranged psychopath.

dracula_16
Well, I'm not a psychopath, but I'm shy to the point of avoiding any and all people.
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RushMetallica

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#11 RushMetallica
Member since 2007 • 4501 Posts

That's uncalled for. The kid will have it implanted in his/her mind that anything can be overcome with violence. If that's how the parents will raise the kid, they shouldn't be surprised when their kid grows up to be a deranged psychopath.

dracula_16
This is what I was trying to get at with my post.
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TonyTcite

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#12 TonyTcite
Member since 2009 • 456 Posts
Being strict is one thing, beating your kid is another. My stepdad used to take anything and beat us with it. Ash shovel, board, frying pan, switches, you name it.KenshinGirl
same here, but from my biological dad. i was the youngest so i got it the least, but i witness a lot of horrible ****!!! especially towards my mom.
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Lindsosaurus

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#13 Lindsosaurus
Member since 2009 • 1982 Posts

Punishment is the least effective way to discipline a child, especially physical punishment, and it also has the potential to have a negative impact on the child's self esteem etc. Although, that doesnt mean that parents are wrong who do it as long as it isn't their primary form of discipline and as long as they aren't going overboard with it. Personally, knowing that it isn't as good as other forms of discipline, I don't think I would do it.

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#14 Flame_Blade88
Member since 2005 • 39348 Posts

I am highly against beating a child as a way to reprimand them. Nothing good comes from it one way or another. You're not really teaching your child a lesson, you're only making things worse.

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ghoklebutter

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#15 ghoklebutter
Member since 2007 • 19327 Posts

Punishment is the least effective way to discipline a child, especially physical punishment, and it also has the potential to have a negative impact on the child's self esteem etc. Although, that doesnt mean that parents are wrong who do it as long as it isn't their primary form of discipline and as long as they aren't going overboard with it. Personally, knowing that it isn't as good as other forms of discipline, I don't think I would do it.

Lindsosaurus

I agree but what should parents do instead? Physical punishment seems irreplaceble in the eyes of most parents.

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DJ-Lafleur

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#16 DJ-Lafleur
Member since 2007 • 35604 Posts

I think spanking a child is fine, but as a last resort. You should try to talk to children first, and try less violent punishments first such as time-outs. If doing less violent things doesn't make a child behave, then by all means, spank 'em.

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Reiji-Arisu

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#17 Reiji-Arisu
Member since 2009 • 651 Posts
Violence does not equates to strictness. Strictness itself is another thing. I find that beating up small kids have negative effect on the them.
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Nifty_Shark

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#18 Nifty_Shark
Member since 2007 • 13137 Posts

I was spanked on rare occasions. being reserved for things that were really quite bad. Yes I can understand that. But beating a child more casually is definitely not good.

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Lindsosaurus

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#19 Lindsosaurus
Member since 2009 • 1982 Posts

[QUOTE="Lindsosaurus"]

Punishment is the least effective way to discipline a child, especially physical punishment, and it also has the potential to have a negative impact on the child's self esteem etc. Although, that doesnt mean that parents are wrong who do it as long as it isn't their primary form of discipline and as long as they aren't going overboard with it. Personally, knowing that it isn't as good as other forms of discipline, I don't think I would do it.

ghoklebutter

I agree but what should parents do instead? Physical punishment seems irreplaceble in the eyes of most parents.

yeah, sadly a lot of parents dont know what to do or they just get so overwhelmed and frustrated that all they can think to do in the moment is spank the kid. For younger kids you send them to time out immediately instead of spanking (have a designated time out place and amount of time they have to sit there) and then there are also things like grounding and taking away privileges. Its about using positive and negative reinforcement rather than punishment.

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BlackTragedy

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#20 BlackTragedy
Member since 2009 • 1830 Posts
as russel peters says. SOMEBODYS GONNA GET A HURTING REAL BAD. if you dont know who he is im very sorry for you.
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Nifty_Shark

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#21 Nifty_Shark
Member since 2007 • 13137 Posts

as russel peters says. SOMEBODYS GONNA GET A HURTING REAL BAD. if you dont know who he is im very sorry for you.BlackTragedy

well he isn't that popular beyond Canada.

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#22 krazykillaz
Member since 2002 • 21141 Posts
No and it has nothing to do with being strict. A parent can be strict and fair without beating their children when they **** up. All it does is say that you want them to follow x rule without giving any reason why it's wrong to break it. Or, of course, the parent could just be beating their child for no particular reason. Possibly taking out anger on them and in those cases, it's obvious that it benefits no one.
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Furi-Kun

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#23 Furi-Kun
Member since 2007 • 10903 Posts

[QUOTE="BlackTragedy"]as russel peters says. SOMEBODYS GONNA GET A HURTING REAL BAD. if you dont know who he is im very sorry for you.Nifty_Shark

well he isn't that popular beyond Canada.

Fact.

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realistic44

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#24 realistic44
Member since 2008 • 8458 Posts

[QUOTE="Nifty_Shark"]

[QUOTE="BlackTragedy"]as russel peters says. SOMEBODYS GONNA GET A HURTING REAL BAD. if you dont know who he is im very sorry for you.Furi-Kun

well he isn't that popular beyond Canada.

Fact.

I think i haerd of him, isnt he some sorta comedian

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#25 StaticPenguin
Member since 2004 • 3433 Posts

I think it all depends on how you use it. Kids need discipline thats for sure.

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avatar_genius

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#26 avatar_genius
Member since 2009 • 8056 Posts

wtf?

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DigitalExile

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#27 DigitalExile
Member since 2008 • 16046 Posts

I don't think "spanking" is harmful, but of course "Beating" a child is.

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realistic44

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#28 realistic44
Member since 2008 • 8458 Posts

Oh yeah back to the tc i think it depends on a certain extent, imo

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#29 santoron
Member since 2006 • 8584 Posts

I have never spanked my daughter. But I don't view some form of corporal punishment as evil or immoral in and of itself.

The problem I have with spanking in most situations is that it isn't being used by the parents as a way of conveying consequences to their children for wrong actions. Far too often, it is the result of a parent losing control of their own emotions and lashing out in anger, not a reasoned action to correct their child.

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#30 JustusCF
Member since 2009 • 1050 Posts

Many ways to look at this.

1) Being too strict can **** you up emotionally (hit your kids, smack them over and over etc..)

2) Being to soft can screw your kid over when he goes out into the real world, he can be selfish or weak when people say no to him. (never punish the kid, give him 5 minute "time out" or take away the tv for a whole 2 hours :O!!!)

3) Depends on the kid, some kids can grow up "normally" with either of the two.

4) Outside environment and how you let society's moral views affect your thought process. For example, if you're a 9 year old kid that gets "beaten" by your parents and all your friends tell you how wrong that is and how that shouldn't happen... It will screw you up, maybe think that your parents hate you or you start to think of yourself as a victim. Whereas if you're not told these things you'll think "beatings" are normal.

--

I've been kicked in the legs, hit on the body, smacked on the butt, forced to over eat, hit with hangers and all the **** you can imagine... I'll admit I'm not exactly emotionally okay (sometimes thinking about old stuff really makes me emotional, but then you bring in that whole environment thing and how I may think of myself as a victim because of how wrong I'm told it is), but I'm a gentleman, I get good grades, I'm fine with violence, and I can talk to people.

The question for me is, will I hit my kids? or how will I punish them?

I'm a firm believer that people without kids shouldn't lecture the parenting of people with kids... I ignore most parenting, unless the parent is putting their child in REAL danger or if there's bruises and **** on a kid. That being said I'm a fairly peaceful guy. My basic way for punishing a kid 7-14 would be to make him exercise/push ups. Kids older than that I will probably make them do work.

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youruser

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#31 youruser
Member since 2009 • 289 Posts

wow justus, i liked you idea a lot, no tv or games and like that is perfect punishment.

a child can become naughty by many means, like due to bad company in school and such, so its not really parent's fault all the time.

my only worry would be regarding what if i have a daughter when i get married that is.

i will be keep a real close look on her when she grows up, the world is too immral and bad, its also gonna be hard to whom would i let her marry, but when its comes to male child. i tend to not worry. but it all depends on the future situations, like when they get young and all.

for girl = no party, club, disco, and no long drives or outing, heck no male friends, (cause i am like of old fashioned thoughts)

for boy = no party, club, disco and no long drives or outing, dating, heck no female friends (cause i am like that, discontinued college on first year, which was a boys college, i will raise them in old fashioned intense moral and religional and cultural values.

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psychobrew

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#32 psychobrew
Member since 2008 • 8888 Posts
Spanking a child is fine, as long as it's not done excessively and the spanker has the child's best interests in mind. Spanking should only be used as a last resort, and yes, some kids need it because it's the only way to get them to listen (some kids really don't care about other forms of punishment). It's when someone spanks a child out of anger or for their own satisfaction is when it's wrong. Beating a child is always wrong.