Found out GF was cheating on me.

Yesterday was one of my worst days on many, many years, my GF told me she has been with another person since almost 2 months ago and that we are done...guys it feels awful, the pain just wont go away...at least for a few days.

So? Have any of you have experiencie something like this? How did you dealt with this?

In advance i apologize if this seems kind of whining or even innapropiete, but i really need to get this out of my chest.

@madsnakehhh: Aw man, that sucks...

*ahem grabs the book of truth*

She isn't worthy of your pressence bro, keep your head up high and back into battle!

No gf to be cheated on by. :(

Yep I know how you feel. From my experience, you need to let it go. Sure it's hard to do but at the same time, was your GF worth it? No because if she cheated on you, then that right there let's you know that she never care for you. My advice: talk to your friends, hang out with them, clear your mind, and also remember that there are more girls out there in the world, so I hope my advice helps you out. Stay strong and enjoy your life, it's not the end of the world.

@dylandr: i know man, i know...is just that the pain is real, the betrayal hurts a lot...last week we were making plans and just being a couple...now it all went down so fast...

Thanks man i know what i must do...but it hurts in the meantime.

Here's something random to cheer you up.

@Storm_Marine: go and search one right now, trust me...the happy moments are some of the best in your life and even the pain as awful as it is...it let's you know that whatever you felt was real.

@Storm_Marine: lol :D

Good times and good friends would be my cure to this, all ways seems to really bring me back into line mentally. But that's not for everyone so, just be social and keep that chin up. **** that bitch though, she's clearly fake and manipulative and isn't worth even a minute of yours or any other decent guys time. Just think about it, she literally sat there and acted like nothing had changed for months, while inside laughing at how dumb your were and awesome she was for getting away with it. She's a fucking succubus, that isn't deserving of even being offered a cup of coffee after a 1 night stand. Expect her or the encroaching dude to do the same thing to each other and both will keep on a vicious cycle of being douches to people for years to come.

every time something like that happened to me i knew more about how to choose a person the next time and so far every single girl has been better than the one before.

having some horrid skank out of your life and into someone elses it is nothing but good news.

Block her off Facebook and any other social media. Delete any pictures and videos of her that you have. Hang out with other females or distract yourself with a hobby.

Do this for a few weeks and you shall be good to go.

Then when you over it, you can unblock her and what not and do the whole "just friends/acquaintances".

@Storm_Marine:

Cyber City Odeo 808? Wow, that brings me back. It was a anime version of the "Suicide Squad".

And yes, I only saw the awful dubbed version because that was all they had at Blockbuster on VHS.

To the op, I would move on. More importantly, I would remember the infidelity if she ever decides to come back later. In my experience, once that particular bond of trust is broken it can't be repaired.

-Byshop

welcome to the wonderful life of adulthood. Similar Things might occur further Down the line, and it will always suck.

Just do yourself a favour, when she comes back crying that she made a mistake, show her the door. Believe me.

@davillain-: Yep, totally, i mean had a lot of time to think last night (as you might imagine...sleeping was kind of hard ) and she is not worth it, despite how much i loved and cared for ver what she did is...is just...for someone you said you loved is unthinkable.

@Ribstaylor1: You know the worst part? We used to be friends for a few years, and when she left her BF and we began dating she told me that i could trusted her because she felt that this was real and now i realize what probably happened with her last BF.

You are right guys...she is not worth it.

Work on being better for the next one so they don't do it.

You can go two ways

1. Lie to yourself and say "she wasn't worth my time"

2. Be honest and say "I wasn't good enough"

People love to support your lies. They'll say "She wasn't good" or "She wasn't worth it" but in reality she was the one who went looking for more, not you. They're just hurting you.

Take this time for evaluation of who you are, what you did, and how you can be better.

Also take this time to understand who you should be with. Everyone has deficiencies and you need to understand yours and know how they'll change a relationship.

No one leaves because the person is good, they leave because they're failing them somewhere. Find out where you were failing and fix it going forward.

Good luck

@madsnakehhh:

Fortunately, I've never had the experience, but bro, that shit must hurt... and it's fine that it does. Just don't let it take over your life or give you false impressions about all women. Hopefully this wasn't a long-standing relationship, because the longer you were together, I've heard, the harder it is to move on (especially financially with combined assets and everything).

@Jaysonguy:

Or, she isn't someone who values monogamy and wasn't honest from the beginning of the relationship. Not every instance of cheating is the result of the lack of something on behalf of the other partner. That, and people can just be frivolous, selfish twats and not care about the feelings of the other person when they get a fleeting desire for something new.

EDIT: That, and if she were a considerate individual who valued their relationship, she would have approached him about his "lackings" and tried to work something out before going somewhere else.

Dude you are on point with this one.

Kudos Jay

@madsnakehhh That sucks man but don't get discouraged or depressed. Keep your head up, this is a great time to explore your hobby and try to focus on things that will better you in life.

Just throwing it out there.

She could have just been a piece of shit human.

I remember some of the relationships I've been in where I was with a piece of shit but was too blinded by lust to see it.

Her loss.

@Jaysonguy: I definitely think that both points are valid when it comes to cheer or just give an insight on the situation to help someone and in fact several years ago i had a relationship that was a train wreck and when it finally ended it was more like a liberation than anything else, i know that both of us did things wrong and that we got to a point of no return.

With this girl, i was trying to be much better, we used to talk a lot, we both agree to talk whenever we felt something was not right or something didn't felt right for one of us, i'm not going to say that i was BF of the year, you are right and i know that i need to improve in lot's of ways, but IMO and like @foxhound_fox said, she never approached me, she decided it was better to go and find someone else while we were apparently in great terms, yep, not good nor so so, we were in great terms and we talked and planned for the future and suddenly she decided "it wasn't going to work...oh btw i'm with someone else since 2 months ago (also, if we make some maths, 2 months ago includes february 14)". That's what is so painful to me, i feel betrayed, i mean she was my friend and i trusted her for over 3 years (little bit more than 1 as a couple).

I'm definitely going to do this "Take this time for evaluation of who you are, what you did, and how you can be better." but this time i cannot play devil's advocate with her...

Thanks, @nini200 it's going to take me time to be back on my feet 100% but it has to be done :D

@Maddie_Larkin I was weak yesterday, i was trying to talk to her, like saying that we could work out, that we loved each other...at the moment i was willing to forgive that she's been sleeping with him for several weeks now...luckly now that i been having more time to think about this, i know she is not worth the efford, the trust is broken and the betrayal is too painful to overcome, she still want's to talk to me this monday because yesterday we had to end our conversation abruptly, don't know if should i even bother.

Anyway, thanks to all of you guys, reading this is really helpfull and i really appreciate it (even if Jay is the worst Nintendo fakeboy ever :P ).

people always cheat, whether it stays in their mind or they act on it. so yeah, don't worry about it. pretty much everyone who is in a relationship is cheated on one way or another.

remember, you get to decide how you feel and react to it.

If it was me, I'd still have the bitch blocked. I ain't going to talk to your sorry ass anymore.

I half agree with you. A breakup is definitely the time to reevaluate your qualities and shortcomings, that's a fact. But another fact is the very simple truth that decent people don't cheat. If you're not happy in your relationship you end it, you don't go sleep with somebody else.

Also, it's true that people don't leave a relationship when they're happy, but that doesn't mean it's the dumped person's fault. If I'm a doctor and I get dumped because she wants to party every weekend and I have to work is it my fault? Do I need to change my career for her? If she couldn't accept that I can be called to work at any time I have nothing to fix.

She did you a favor, tbh, and you should be grateful. Find out why you couldn't tell when you got screwed over, move on, and find someone better.

"My wife told me we're through, and she is taking my kid away from me to another state!"

Is could of been how long it took. So again, look at it as being in your favor.

@madsnakehhh: This should help you feel better:

Well, nothing I can say to make you feel better, just warning you that break ups are never clean breaks. Did you guys live together, share a lease, have shared assets, shared bank account or credit cards, shared financial obligations, did you cosign on her car, do you own a pet, etc? You need to start sorting this stuff out.

Did the relationship ever cross state law definition of common law marriage based on its duration?

I had a friend that cosigned on his girlfriend's (maybe fiance, I forget) car, after she cheated on him and broke up with him she stopped making payments. Another friend of mine same thing, she kept using his credit card and not making payments. Don't assume because she broke it off with you that she's not going to be the petty one and trying to make you miserable.

Nothing legal, we owe ourselves some money, you know i used he credit card for some purchases, she borrowed some money from me to pay her rent, you know typical couple things that were more like...yeah i owe you this, next time i pay this...

@foxhound_fox I'm talking to her on monday...i've been thinking...what if she tries to fix things (very unlikely but you never know)...i do think that i might be weak with her because i really loved her...but things like that image will help me to stay focused, thanks man.

There is a common phrase out there: "Once a cheater, always a cheater". If she's willing to go behind your back and be with someone else, after agreeing to be monogamous with you, then no matter what she says or does, she will be more easily willing to do it again.

If she can't even be decent enough to talk to you about any potential shortcomings or problems with the relationship before finding someone else, she isn't even worth your time.

If you're close with any of her friends **** them behind her back. Especially if she wants to get back together. Teach her what Betrayal feels like.

Either that or just move on, if you enter back into this relationship she knows she can cuck you now.

@foxhound_fox: Already talk to her a little bit via whatsapp, it's definitely over, she is not going to try to fix anything and neither do i...because there is simply not anything worth fixing...i feel a little bit better by now, still hurts but i know is time to move on...

Thanks a lot guys.

Just be glad it's over now rather than later. There are a lot more people for you to meet and cheaters aren't worth your time or tears.

This is fucking terrible advice and is victim blaming.

Even if he wasn't good enough, his GF could've broken up with him before high fiving the D. He wasn't keeping her from leaving.

OP, dump that bitch and move on. Brush up on some Leykis 101.

Should have done this

@elkoldo said:

Should have done this

The "love you bitchhh" at the top makes it weirder... lol

Anyways, TC, just so long as you don't make the mistake of thinking somehow it was your shortcomings, you'll be okay with time. Glad to see you understand it was her who wasn't worth it, and it was this that proved it.

I have to agree, that really is terrible, pessimistic and absolutely erroneous advice.

I know that i had shortcomings, and part of the huge pain i'm still experiencing right now is because of this...the regrets and the what if's... but Jaysonguy does have a point...at least kind of and i know i do have to work on some of this shortcomings, but again...there was absolutely nothing that we couldn't fix without talking to each other, the trust was forever broken the minute she decided not to respect me and our relationship, that's just inexcusable IMO and no matter how much flawed i'am (and in retrospective...i can definitely say that i wasn't a bad BF) she should have talked to me first.

LOL, this thread has helped me a lot...i've been thinking on several ocassions on trying to fix everything with her or at least to see if there is a way to fix everything...but everytime i came here to read your responses and how i felt about the whole situation, i get more convinced that is not worth it.

Exactly. Flaws and such can lead to a breakup, that's fine, but the disrespect and broken trust from cheating aren't on the victim.

I disagree bro, you can do EVERYTHING for your girl. If she's a selfish good for nothing b**** it won't stop her wanting more than one guy.

To the OP, be glad you got rid of her. Give it a few months and she'll either cheat on her new bf or get cheated on. Just focus on yourself and enjoy your freedom and do whatever tf you want!

@SPBoss: I keep telling myself that, i just hope i'll be strong enough tomorrow to say all this to her...don't know what's going to happen tomorrow, a part of me would love to find out that this is a sick joke and that it can be fixed somehow...but another part of me wants to just end it all once and for all.

Depending on what else does she have to say to me tomorrow, i'm going to honestly try to "save" the relationship but only if there is something worth to save maybe if she is like...is not true i'm just trying to get your attention or something like that (yeah,i've been daydreaming all weekend) but i'm also aware that is extremely unlikely and that i have to be ready to just deal with all this and move on from this awful experience.

Jayson guy has NO point. yes you have shortcomings. Yes you made mistakes in your relationship. Dude I have been married nearly 10 years and I still have shortcomings and I still make mistakes in my relationship. When you are with somebody and committed and love each other you make it work.

or you end it like adults by breaking up and going your separate ways. Don't blame yourself because your girlfriend violated your trust and your relationship.

I have been where you are. No advice is going to make this time that you are going thru any better you just have to deal with it. Do your best to take your mind off of her until she's totally out of your mind and thoughts. Do not do not do not do not give her another chance unless you want to feel this all over again!

@sayyy-gaa: Thanks man...you are right...everyone is right i know that what she did was just awful...and even if there is stil the smallest possibility to fix everything with her and that i would love to do that and just erase the last few days...i know is time to move on.

I'd like to say that you shouldn't allow this to affect you, because it reveals that she's not worthy of you, but I'm a realist and a pessimist. As emotions are involuntary, you obviously cannot simply suppress how you feel about this situation; your butthurt is beyond your control. Hence, if I were you, I'd find a (non-violent) way to direct your anger or sadness at her, so that she can feel your pain. However, because she was cold enough to do this, more than likely she lacks the capacity to empathize.

Anyhow, did the man with whom she cheated on you with know about you? If so, will you confront him? If you choose to do so, be sure not to do anything that will land you in prison.

EDIT: You should get yourself checked out in case she passed anything from him to you (hopefully that's not the case).

Don't even think about it. It helps nothing. This isn't some feudal society where you gotta go protect your "honor" or whatever.

Agreed about the std testing though.

What's a girlfriend?

Sometimes the butthurt is too strong; revenge is a natural human desire.