@kingcrimson24 said:
but now that I know her better I just feel that , she's the one :/ the one that I can actually be with for a long time and it won't end up a failure like my previous relationships . but I've fallen into her friendzone for a year now ....
Don't fall into this trap. Just because you get along well with someone doesn't mean you're meant to be together. When you're in a relationship with someone you can sometimes find out things about that person you didn't know before, or you can have issues with things that you didn't think you would have issues with. There's nothing wrong with being interested in a relationship, but I honestly don't think you can know she's "the one" before you've even started dating.
That being said, there are some misconceptions about the friend zone that really need to be cleared up.
"It's fucking creepy when guys befriend girls under the pretense of wanting to have sex with them later."
He didn't befriend her with the pretense of wanting to have sex with her, he befriended her because he wanted to be her friend and he later developed romantic feelings for her. Is this really where we are right now, are we really saying no male can ever have romantic feelings for someone they're already acquainted with? Is it either introduce yourself to a female with the intention of seducing her or with the intention of being platonic friends, and never the twain shall meet?
"you're not entitled to her liking you just because you like her."
The friendzone isn't about entitlement. Most men who talk about it aren't saying that women are obligated to be in a relationship with them. That is a complete falsehood that seems to be making the rounds lately and it really aggravates me because you're essentially telling other people what they think and feel. Even if the friendzone is overall a harmful concept, the thought process going through someone's head when they talk about it is not "I deserve to be with that woman, she has no right to reject me," it's more "I really thought we had something, I had all these strong feelings for her and it seemed like she had the same feelings for me, but she only saw me as a friend." It's far less about the woman and anything she did or did not do and more about the man, especially when it keeps happening. When you keep developing meaningful relationships with women and keep getting rejected every time you try to start a romantic relationship with them, that's when the friendzone starts to appear. It's not so much entitlement as it is wondering why, if all these women continually say how great of a friend and a guy you are, not a single one of them is interested in a relationship with you. Now I'm not denying that there may be men who view the friendzone with a sense of entitlement, but I don't think it's fair to say that every male who has ever complained about it thinks they're entitled to a relationship.
"There is no "friendzone." There are just people that don't want to have sex with you."
This also isn't necessarily about sex. I've never been on a first date that ended in sex, there have been women that I've been attracted to but whom I didn't want to sleep with until I knew them a little better, and there have been women that I've found physically attractive for a long time but never developed romantic feelings for until a certain point in time for whatever reason. This is such a ridiculous assumption that if a man is interested in a woman that he's known for a while that he can only be interested in sex. I think most guys who talk about the friendzone are actually people who prefer some emotional depth to their relationships which is why they go for women they know and get along well with rather than simply trying to pick up physically attractive women. The fact that you're making them out to be shallow and only interested in sex shows a complete lack of understanding of what's really going on in their heads.
Now I will say that the way the TC is talking about the friendzone seems to be a bit misguided. Just because one woman rejects you doesn't mean you're getting friendzoned. If she really doesn't have feelings for you then rejection is inevitable. I'm sure there are women in your life you feel that way about, that you get along with perfectly well and simply aren't romantically interested in. That being said, I am positive that there are women who don't give certain guys chances for whatever reason. Sometimes it's a good reason, like they simply aren't attracted to that person, but sometimes it's also a really shallow reason like they're not Mr. Universe or they don't have a sexy ride (and/or they don't take the time to get to know them). I don't think it's wrong for men to be frustrated when women they seem to have a connection with have a blind spot for them, and don't tell me women don't get frustrated about that as well because I know for a fact that they do.
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