Getting a girlfriend?

I'm in my second year at university, and really haven't had that much experience with dating or getting a girlfriend (as do probably many people on OT lol). It just seems like I haven't had that much of an opportunity, yet, and just seems like I am not very close to very many females. I am in several organizations on campus, and have a weekend job. In high school, I wasn't that cool, and tried WAY too hard to "stand out," and tried too hard getting "the ladies" which just further alienated others from me. My junior year, I was kind of a mess, with my grades at an all-time low, as well as my self esteem; I really "tried too hard" putting myself out there, and really wasn't even being myself, just someone that I thought people "would" like. Now, in college, I am much more reserved (though not TOO much), serious, and "normal" acting, and it seems like that "works" for me. Should I just wait for the right person to come into my life, or should I try to make something happen?

Why do you like quotation marks so much?thegerg

Chicks dig quotation marks.

Nothing you did in high school matters now. Women find confidence attractive. Try actually talking to some of them and see what happens. You might be surprised.

If all else fails you can always pay for a "girlfriend".

[QUOTE="thegerg"]Why do you like quotation marks so much?Oleg_Huzwog

Chicks dig quotation marks.

Why do you even want a girlfriend?Laihendi

Nothing you did in high school matters now. Women find confidence attractive.bigfoot2045

[QUOTE="bigfoot2045"]

Nothing you did in high school matters now. Women find confidence attractive.roboticman2

Wait for the right person, no need to rush things you're in college it's not like your in your late 30's living with a cat. I believe in soul mates, and unless yours happens to be a cat she will come into your life at some point :) but stay with being yourself! >:PTrainerCeleste

What is she's a pretty cat though?

Wait for the right person, no need to rush things you're in college it's not like your in your late 30's living with a cat. I believe in soul mates, and unless yours happens to be a cat she will come into your life at some point :) but stay with being yourself! >:PTrainerCeleste

This is stupid advice. College is the absolute best time to hook up with girls. Hook up with a lot of girls. Experiment. Figure out what you actually like in a partner. If you let these years go to waste you're an absolute fool. I finally came out of my shell my sophomore year of college and I wish it had happened sooner. Put yourself out there. Stop hiding like some socially retarded dork. The worst that happens is a bunch of chicks say no. But eventually some of them will say yes.

[QUOTE="TrainerCeleste"]Wait for the right person, no need to rush things you're in college it's not like your in your late 30's living with a cat. I believe in soul mates, and unless yours happens to be a cat she will come into your life at some point :) but stay with being yourself! >:Psune_Gem

What is she's a pretty cat though?

Lose weight and get a job?dodgerblue13

[QUOTE="TrainerCeleste"]Wait for the right person, no need to rush things you're in college it's not like your in your late 30's living with a cat. I believe in soul mates, and unless yours happens to be a cat she will come into your life at some point :) but stay with being yourself! >:Pbigfoot2045

This is stupid advice. College is the absolute best time to hook up with girls. Hook up with a lot of girls. Experiment. Figure out what you actually like in a partner. If you let these years go to waste you're an absolute fool. I finally came out of my shell my sophomore year of college and I wish it had happened sooner. Put yourself out there. Stop hiding like some socially retarded dork. The worst that happens is a bunch of chicks say no. But eventually some of them will say yes.

[QUOTE="dodgerblue13"]Lose weight and get a job?roboticman2

[QUOTE="bigfoot2045"]

[QUOTE="TrainerCeleste"]Wait for the right person, no need to rush things you're in college it's not like your in your late 30's living with a cat. I believe in soul mates, and unless yours happens to be a cat she will come into your life at some point :) but stay with being yourself! >:PTrainerCeleste

This is stupid advice. College is the absolute best time to hook up with girls. Hook up with a lot of girls. Experiment. Figure out what you actually like in a partner. If you let these years go to waste you're an absolute fool. I finally came out of my shell my sophomore year of college and I wish it had happened sooner. Put yourself out there. Stop hiding like some socially retarded dork. The worst that happens is a bunch of chicks say no. But eventually some of them will say yes.

No, you're just in the honeymoon phase of the relationship where you think everything about the other person is perfect. Give it time. See if you feel the same way. Eventually you'll see the other person for who they really are and you may not like what you find.

You don't want to be a loser who marries the first girl he dates, only to inevitably end up divorced and with no idea what he actually wants out of a partner.

I' m pretty much like you TC(second year in university and with no experience in girls). I' m not trying to force anything-I just wait until a chance comes up and then I' ll do my best to seize it. Only problem I don' t go out THAT much so meeting random girls in random places doesn' t seem really possible. And unfortunately there are no girls I like in any of my classes because apparently beautiful and cute girls don' t study Computer Science...

Should I just wait for the right person to come into my life, or should I try to make something happen?

the_plan_man

From my experience, the whole waiting approach doesn't work. You gotta make it happen.

[QUOTE="sune_Gem"]

[QUOTE="TrainerCeleste"]Wait for the right person, no need to rush things you're in college it's not like your in your late 30's living with a cat. I believe in soul mates, and unless yours happens to be a cat she will come into your life at some point :) but stay with being yourself! >:PTrainerCeleste

What is she's a pretty cat though?

Ponies are all ugly though. :o

You shouldn't *want* a girlfriend. It should be a natural extension of your social life. If you feel lonely, go out and meet some new people. Forcing a relationship on yourself (or another) isn't going to solve the issues you are having.Zeviander

You shouldnt "want" money either, it should be a natural extension equatable to your skill at removing your clothes in a timely but sensual manner on a stage consistent with being in a seedy club.

Why do you like quotation marks so much?thegerg

[QUOTE="Laihendi"]Why do you even want a girlfriend?TrainerCeleste

[QUOTE="bigfoot2045"]Nothing you did in high school matters now. Women find confidence attractive.roboticman2

Confidence is clearly not enough to impress a lady these days unless you have something to back up your confidence and by "backup" I mean good looks and a lot of money. The problem is that alot of men people can find themselves trapped at the bottom of society just because they are a bit ugly, or slightly obese or they just don't have the financial power to impress the ladies and money is power.

In other words, "Golddiggers" & high maintenance women. Hell to the no.

If you want to be with me, then you must love me from the heart, not for the loot or anything else.

[QUOTE="TrainerCeleste"][QUOTE="Laihendi"]Why do you even want a girlfriend?meconate

You shouldnt "want" money either, it should be a natural extension equatable to your skill at removing your clothes in a timely but sensual manner on a stage consistent with being in a seedy club.Allicrombie

[QUOTE="Laihendi"]Why do you even want a girlfriend?TrainerCeleste

A lovely sentiment, but completely and utterly delusional. Romantic/sexual relationships are based around some sort of benefit or gain. The only unconditional love is that which parents feel for their children (those whom are fortunate enough to have good parents).

and just seems like I am not very close to very many females.

the_plan_man

So you want to get close to them then ask them out? Ever hear of friendzoned?

Ask a girl out the very day you meet her. When you're both still curious about each other is the best time to woo her.

And don't spill all the beans right away: you gotta keep some mystery about you so she keeps coming back to find out more.

[QUOTE="TrainerCeleste"][QUOTE="bigfoot2045"]

This is stupid advice. College is the absolute best time to hook up with girls. Hook up with a lot of girls. Experiment. Figure out what you actually like in a partner. If you let these years go to waste you're an absolute fool. I finally came out of my shell my sophomore year of college and I wish it had happened sooner. Put yourself out there. Stop hiding like some socially retarded dork. The worst that happens is a bunch of chicks say no. But eventually some of them will say yes.

bigfoot2045

No, you're just in the honeymoon phase of the relationship where you think everything about the other person is perfect. Give it time. See if you feel the same way. Eventually you'll see the other person for who they really are and you may not like what you find.

You don't want to be a loser who marries the first girl he dates, only to inevitably end up divorced and with no idea what he actually wants out of a partner.

No, we've been together 3 years thats far past the honeymoon phaseTrainerCeleste

Instead of waiting for something to happen and hoping something does why don't you just go make it happen yourself? Clearly if you are having trouble with women it is your own fault, whether it stems from physical appearance, lack of confidence or poor hygiene (Or all three) A lot of people aren't willing to admit this though about themselves.

It's really just called taking care of yourself bro. Go workout, attain some aesthetics, get a haircut or something and make something of yourself. You think girls don't try hard to be pretty and attractive? Many of them spend hours getting ready to look good. If you got acne get rid of it (acutane) if you're extremely skinny and look weird fix it, if you are a fatty fix it. There are so many things that you can do to attract Women.

I fully expect to recieve some backlash for this post

[spoiler] Aesthetics are the key brah [/spoiler]

[QUOTE="the_plan_man"]

Should I just wait for the right person to come into my life, or should I try to make something happen?

Niff_T

From my experience, the whole waiting approach doesn't work. You gotta make it happen.

^^^That is the weakest Zyzz gif I've ever seen. Do you even lift?chilly-chill

[QUOTE="TrainerCeleste"]No, we've been together 3 years thats far past the honeymoon phaseZeviander

EDIT: and to add to the other person who responded to me earlier, I do know what I want in a partner. Just because I've only dated her doesn't mean that I don't know what I want. What I want is the qualities that she has.

[QUOTE="chilly-chill"]^^^That is the weakest Zyzz gif I've ever seen. Do you even lift?LLYNCES

Yeah, you dont want to get friendzones, even the batman got friendzoned... Freakin saves his childhood friend, saves the city, but then some "white knigh," comes along and she is all over him. Lol.. Secretly batman saved Harvey just to get back at her, and then jackpotted when half his face got burned. Because he is BATTTMAN! Point being, NEVER BE NICE TO THEM, EVER! EVERRRRRRRrrrr.