How am I doing? (seeking a girl)

So just this year I began completely changing my life. I'm 17 now just graduated High School (i'll be 18 soon), my whole middle school and high school life was pretty much empty as far as being social goes, I've always had friends but not the kind that you hang out with every day and pretty much experience life with, more like we talked in school and on the internet everyday, and pretty much our interests were gaming so like I said, pretty empty. I've talked to very few girls in that time as well, there were maybe 3 or 4 girls that I could talk to comfortably, but they were always someone's girlfriend so it didn't really matter. So basically my middle school and high school was spent with nothing more than studying, killing lots of time with video games, and some social interaction, but much less than I wish.

But seriously, things have been going uphill lately and i'm very happy about it, my senior year I started working out and being on a diet, I was 240 pounds at the beginning of the year with almost no muscle, right now i'm 185 pounds and I feel really comfortable with my body, I have pretty decent arm muscles and almost noticable abs, also i've had extremelly short hair my whole life, and about a month and a half ago I decided to let it grow, it's in an awkward stage and it will be for a long time I know but strangly i'm happier with my hair then i've ever been, it looks especially good when it's wet, so basically i'm getting more confidence.

Even with those changes I still didn't do much socially until this summer, that's when I finally got into a good circle of friends that i've been looking for, this thanks to my co workers for my summer job. So anyway, I've been to 4 parties (alchohol involved) now with these friends this summer and I've made some noticable progress with one particular girl, first was the 2nd party, everyone was going about their business and this girl (her name is Sarah), ended up on my lap on the couch, both of us very slightly drunk, we just looked at each other smiling, then watched some t.v, and after 5 or so minutes we both went seperate ways in the party. Then a week or so later I ended up having a pretty big party at my house while my parents were away but she couldn't make it, but at that party I found that I really can talk to girls, it suprised the hell out of me but I was able to hold a conversation with my friend's girlfriend for hours (obviously nothing happened though). This party was last thursday. I decided to have one more small party since there was plently of time, that was yesterday, it was very small, just my 2 friends from work, Sarah, and 2 other guy friends that were only there for an hour or so.

It started at about 10:30 pm, the 4 of us drank a bit (but not much because what we had tasted like crap), then when the other 2 guys showed up them and my 2 friends from work went to smoke weed, I don't do that and neither does Sarah, so they all go off and to my luck I find it very easy to talk to her, she told me she was cold, I gave her my sweatshirt and we talked for a good half hour before they came back, then we drank some more, had some good times, and the other 2 friends left, so it was us 4 again, we decide to go in my hottub, we relax, talk, splash each other, and have a good time, I really start to like Sarah, I've never met a girl so easy to get along with, we were in the hottub for a good hour and a half, we got out, dried off and went inside. My two friends were basically burnt and fell asleep pretty fast while me and Sarah were wide awake, I only had 2 or 3 cups of beer so I felt awesome, and she had 1 or 2, it was about 1:00 am at this point, and some how me and her talked until 3:30. Best part, somewhere in the conversion she mentioned that her back hurts from work, I offer a massage and she accepts, and I could tell that she liked it, but then for the first time in a while I had no clue what to do next, I knew that I could have easily had sex with her or at least gotten a first kiss, but I had aboslutely no idea what to do, I was so amazed at how far I had gotten that part of me wanted to just stand up and say "frig it, let's go" and lead her to my room but I couldn't do it, I just casually stopped the massage we talked for another half hour or so and fell asleep near each other.

These are the only 2 times i've met her, the bad thing is, I never bothered to get her number and most of my friends are leaving for college so there probably won't be many parties left, I'll be at home for college though and she is going to be a senior in high school so if I can keep it together with her I think there's a chance of something really good, but right now I feel like i've pulled every trick out of my sleeve and I'm at a loss for what to do now. I just hope I didn't make a huge mistake not going further last night, because I could almost feel her asking for it, but I just couldn't do it. She isn't mad though, because in the morning she was still very friendly and told me how much she enjoyed the party and everything.

inb4 tldr

my god:o.........Could you please summarize that into a paragraph or less?Rikardur

I'll try. He had an almost none existing social life through Middle School and High School. He decided to change, lost some weight, let his hair grow long and gained some confidence. He seems to like this girl that he's seen only two times. He can now speak to girls. Spent some time with said girl, gave her a massage and then didn't know what to do. Asks for advice I suppose.

Id say try and grab her number off somebody you know, unless you see her again.

There's one thing though: You said what you had tasted like crap, then you said you were drinking beer. You must not drink much to not be able to drink lots of beer :P .

That's cool that you're making changes to your life that you feel happy with, but does alcohol really have to be involved? :|Funkyhamster

Sadly it does, though i'm not going to say that I don't like it:P. Last summer I was at a party where lots of alchohol was involved, I decieded not to drink because I was scared, it's just pointless, you don't fit into the party at all. Right now I may be using alchohol as a small crutch (because it does help people be more social), but in the end it taught me a lot, I'm so much more social than I ever was (obviously I don't use alchohol everytime I talk to people).

Id say try and grab her number off somebody you know, unless you see her again.

There's one thing though: You said what you had tasted like crap, then you said you were drinking beer. You must not drink much to not be able to drink lots of beer :P .

trav_have

Yeah i've only drank 4 times so far in my life at these parties, the first time I ever drank I enjoyed the beer, but for this it was simply the quality that we had I think, it was the cheapest stuff we could get.

[QUOTE="trav_have"]

Id say try and grab her number off somebody you know, unless you see her again.

There's one thing though: You said what you had tasted like crap, then you said you were drinking beer. You must not drink much to not be able to drink lots of beer :P .

Xx_Azigal_xX

Yeah i've only drank 4 times so far in my life at these parties, the first time I ever drank I enjoyed the beer, but for this it was simply the quality that we had I think, it was the cheapest stuff we could get.

You should try hard liquor, lol.

For me, alchohol makes me a whole different person socially.
I can talk to girls and whatever when sober, but Im usually pretty quiet, and its hard to get things out.

The alchohol can easily bring things out in the open more.

I just kinda read here and there so forgive me if im off about something.

It sounds like you want something more then a "one night stand"--in my opinion, I can't say this girl sounds like anything worth more then a few nights of "sloppy drunken sex". You're acquaintance style relationship with her seems entirely too drunk and party based. I will say this though, you're next action during the massage(assuming you were really good at it) should have been to simply make an excuse to leave right in the middle of it and headed for the door. You would've been a big tease and most likely, she would have made the move for the sexual encounter(I have been a victim of this tease). But I guess that really wouldn't be very effective since it was you're house.

For the record, good job on making the necessary improvements to become happier with yourself. But I just don't personally think she's the right one you should be looking to start something special with, so im not even going to encourage you to take it any further then trying to get in her pants a few times(if that is the case, go for the number). Regardless, good luck with it though.

I just kinda read here and there so forgive me if im off about something.

It sounds like you want something more then a "one night stand"--in my opinion, I can't say this girl sounds like anything worth more then a few nights of "sloppy drunken sex". You're acquaintance style relationship with her seems entirely too drunk and party based. I will say this though, you're next action during the massage(assuming you were really good at it) should have been to simply make an excuse to leave right in the middle of it and headed for the door. You would've been a big tease and most likely, she would have made the move for the sexual encounter(I have been a victim of this tease). But I guess that really wouldn't be very effective since it was you're house.

For the record, good job on making the necessary improvements to become happier with yourself. But I just don't personally think she's the right one you should be looking to start something special with, so im not even going to encourage you to take it any further then trying to get in her pants a few times(if that is the case, go for the number). Regardless, good luck with it though.

TecmoGirl

Thanks, that is some good advice. I do feel attracted to her and feel like I want more than just sex and I really like her personality but I think the best thing to do is just continue not acting desperate and see what happens at future encounters with her, I know that we'll meet again even if it won't be until everything with college settles down with all my friends. Hopefully her memories of me will build and in the mean time i'll try to keep improving and also looking out for other girls.

I can't believe I just read the whole thing.

If I were you, I'd try to talk to her sober. It's all well and good being shored up by alcohol, but if you're awkward without it...See how you go. Mind you, 3 beers is sod all, so by my books you were sober. Especially your American 300ml beers...pathetic :p

Either way, get number, take her out somewhere, see how you go. NO ALCOHOL!! Don't push too hard for anything to happen, just take it easy and let it run it's course.

Well, yeah... You're doing great, but get her number quick...

I can't believe I just read the whole thing.

DarkAlucard666

Me too...