How do you deal to rudeness ?

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Zensword

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#1  Edited By Zensword
Member since 2007 • 4510 Posts

When someone is rude to you, do you call them out or keep silent ?

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mrbojangles25

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#2 mrbojangles25
Member since 2005 • 60719 Posts

depends on to what degree. I am a pretty easy going guy, a little too easy going actually, I can put up with a lot.

But if the person is really rude, like actively trying to give me or someone around me a hard time, I'll tell them to chill out or ask them why they're being such a dick.

Usually when people are being rude, they really don't have any idea they are acting that way; it's silly but just asking them "hey is everything OK? you're acting strange" or phrasing it in a neutral way is a good way to bring it up.

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conkerfan34

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#3  Edited By conkerfan34
Member since 2017 • 23 Posts

When someone is being rude to you than you be rude back. An eye for an eye.

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br0kenrabbit

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#4 br0kenrabbit
Member since 2004 • 18081 Posts

First response is usually a firm and boisterous "Umm...excuse me?" while looking them in the eye. I want them to know this isn't going away without an apology. If they don't apologize or if they say something else I will escalate the matter. Whether that means telling them off right there in front of everybody or straight-up running them off depends on the situation and where we are.

God forbid if you're an employee somewhere who pisses me off. I'll not just tell the manager, I'll drag him to you and confront you in front of him, and in addition I will ask for the corporate number and we'll have ourselves a multi-party conversation right there, and you'd better believe I'm walking away with something and you a little less.

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jun_aka_pekto

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#5  Edited By jun_aka_pekto
Member since 2010 • 25255 Posts

Depends. What are some examples of rudeness are we talking about? Like one of the guys above said, they may not be aware they're being rude.

If it seems unintentional, I let it go.

But, if someone went out his way to inconvenience us on purpose, I'll have something to say. Back in early February 2009, we were at the mall in Syracuse, NY. As we went to get in line at the food court, a black guy blocked the path of my wife and kids. They tried to go around him. But, he again cut them off. So, I went up and shoved my way past him. We he turned around to face me, I stared back and asked pointblank, "You got a F-ing problem?" He just stared at me and moved off. I hate assholes.

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Jak42

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#6 Jak42
Member since 2016 • 1093 Posts

Depends on the situation. Some people are better off left alone. Escalating the situation to prove a point. Rarely accomplishes anything worthwhile. And takes up time/energy, that can be better used elsewhere.

Smiling and having a bit of a laugh, are some good ways to control your temper. Now if its someone close to you. Then private communication is best to settle issues. Before they built up and become a bigger issue.

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thehig1

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#7 thehig1
Member since 2014 • 7555 Posts

I'm not very sensitive so most the time I don't notice, and I'm possible sometimes rude myself.

If someone is being rude to the point I notice I'm just rude back to them.

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nathanbats

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#8 nathanbats
Member since 2016 • 1057 Posts

I don't care most of the time,but if someone is deliberately being an asswhole then I will be rude back.

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markbrown

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#9  Edited By markbrown
Member since 2017 • 10 Posts

Depends on the person who is being rude. A dear one will be considered and a detail talk will be there, but just another person will be ignored af ;)

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KHAndAnime

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#10  Edited By KHAndAnime
Member since 2009 • 17565 Posts

I don't really care that much. I rarely encounter rudeness except from people I know well. Sometimes I can't even recognize if someone's trying to be an ass to me because I'm a pretty optimistic guy (I'll just assume they're having a bad day). Also I have a tendency to be rude occassionally so I think everyone should be tolerable of a little rudeness here and there.

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indzman

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#11 indzman
Member since 2006 • 27736 Posts

I insult right back to anyone who insults me for no reason.No one deserves to be insulted for no reason, everyone deserves respect?

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KungfuKitten

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#12  Edited By KungfuKitten
Member since 2006 • 27389 Posts

You don't want things to escalate. I usually don't do anything too hasty. Sleep on it first and try to be the better person. I know it's tough. And I'm not saying you should always let them get away with it. Hey, you're human. If it is something that will eat you up on the inside, it's fine to speak your mind. But if you can do that while staying classy, it'll only feel better in the end.

If it was particularly nasty, do some investigating in the long run to see if it was incidental. Keep in mind the person may have big issues that make him/her uncontrollably cranky. We're all fighting our own fights. If you do anything, it should be to better the situation as a whole, not just to watch it all burn. Sometimes that even means doing something nice to that person instead of something nasty. Not as a 'reward' for doing something bad, but it goes much deeper than that. Ultimately, your goal is to make the best of things, and these situations can make you lose your focus on that. Actually, if you find the root of the issue it is probably something that requires some luv, is my experience.

It's much easier to type this than to do it. Still that would be my advice.

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indzman

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#13 indzman
Member since 2006 • 27736 Posts

@mrbojangles25 said:

depends on to what degree. I am a pretty easy going guy, a little too easy going actually, I can put up with a lot.

But if the person is really rude, like actively trying to give me or someone around me a hard time, I'll tell them to chill out or ask them why they're being such a dick.

Usually when people are being rude, they really don't have any idea they are acting that way; it's silly but just asking them "hey is everything OK? you're acting strange" or phrasing it in a neutral way is a good way to bring it up.

In all these years seeing you on OT,PC Board, SW. For life of me never seen you being rude to anyone. Seems you are too nice of a person :)

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jun_aka_pekto

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#14  Edited By jun_aka_pekto
Member since 2010 • 25255 Posts

In most cases, rudeness can be diffused by a little diplomacy. But, there are instances when you already sized up the situation and the only way out is to respond in kind.

In my situation earlier, no normal people would have accosted my wife and kids the way that guy did. He clearly was looking for a reaction and he got it. It never happened before and it hasn't happened again since.

It's probably more a case of potential bullying than rudeness. But, sometimes, it's hard to differentiate between the two.

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deactivated-5acfa3a8bc51d

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#15 deactivated-5acfa3a8bc51d
Member since 2005 • 7914 Posts

Almost got in a fist fight a month ago because they were rude but we left and think that was best. I'm sexist though with women if she rude I may play with those feelings. Mean girls are sexy.

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Gaming-Planet

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#16 Gaming-Planet
Member since 2008 • 21106 Posts

I tell them to put some respeck on it.

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tocool340

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#17 tocool340
Member since 2004 • 21694 Posts

Depends on the type of rudeness. I'd either give a "Da fucks your problem?" look, raise an eyebrow/shrug a shoulder then move away, flat out ignore them, or if they really crossing boundaries, say a few choice word to them while explaining how they're dickheads....

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KOD

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#18 KOD
Member since 2016 • 2754 Posts

@Zensword said:

When someone is rude to you, do you call them out or keep silent ?

This really depends on the who, what, when, where, why and how.

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AND1SALTTAPE

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#19 AND1SALTTAPE
Member since 2015 • 861 Posts

I don't wait a second before getting into a fist fight because if you're bad, I'm worse -- but always for the right reasons. But that's just me and my stupid idea of standing up for myself. Don't follow it.

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darklight4

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#20  Edited By darklight4
Member since 2009 • 2094 Posts

Glare at them like I want kill them.

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PSP107

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#21 PSP107
Member since 2007 • 18977 Posts

@jun_aka_pekto: " So, I went up and shoved my way past him. "

How rude.

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MrGeezer

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#23 MrGeezer
Member since 2002 • 59765 Posts

@and1salttape said:

I don't wait a second before getting into a fist fight because if you're bad, I'm worse -- but always for the right reasons. But that's just me and my stupid idea of standing up for myself. Don't follow it.

Somehow I don't believe you. If you were telling the truth, I think you'd either be dead or in prison by now.

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horgen

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#24 horgen  Moderator
Member since 2006 • 127731 Posts

@KHAndAnime said:

I don't really care that much. I rarely encounter rudeness except from people I know well. Sometimes I can't even recognize if someone's trying to be an ass to me because I'm a pretty optimistic guy (I'll just assume they're having a bad day). Also I have a tendency to be rude occassionally so I think everyone should be tolerable of a little rudeness here and there.

Being rude when you don't mean to. I've been that several times. So yeah I'll just take it silently. Unless someone is consistently rude over time, I don't bother with it.

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AND1SALTTAPE

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#25 AND1SALTTAPE
Member since 2015 • 861 Posts

@MrGeezer said:
@and1salttape said:

I don't wait a second before getting into a fist fight because if you're bad, I'm worse -- but always for the right reasons. But that's just me and my stupid idea of standing up for myself. Don't follow it.

Somehow I don't believe you. If you were telling the truth, I think you'd either be dead or in prison by now.

Consider these:
1. I don't go out often, and if I do, I prefer to remain silent and not get into a conversation with anyone.
2. I steer clear of stupid people as much as I can.
3. I have minimal contact even with my own friends.

Majority of those fights happened in my school life, so those were nothing serious. The other fights were in public and I was always, sort of, justified in instigating it so the bystanders always took my side, and nothing happened again. Overall, those 3 reasons I listed reduce me to about only 1 or 2 encounters with strangers per week. How likely is it that these strangers will be rude, or I'll find myself with them in a heated up situation?

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jun_aka_pekto

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#26  Edited By jun_aka_pekto
Member since 2010 • 25255 Posts
@PSP107 said:

@jun_aka_pekto: " So, I went up and shoved my way past him. "

How rude.

I was hungry. Nobody gets between me and my food. ;) Plus, singling out my wife n kids? That's a big no-no. There's no bigger provocation. If it was me he targeted first, I might've tried to reason things out. But, my family? I saw red. I'm an asshole when I'm pissed off....which is why I try to avoid getting angry.

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#28 markbrown
Member since 2017 • 10 Posts

@and1salttape said:

I don't wait a second before getting into a fist fight because if you're bad, I'm worse -- but always for the right reasons. But that's just me and my stupid idea of standing up for myself. Don't follow it.

Thank you for adding the last line :D

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AND1SALTTAPE

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#29 AND1SALTTAPE
Member since 2015 • 861 Posts

@markbrown said:
@and1salttape said:

I don't wait a second before getting into a fist fight because if you're bad, I'm worse -- but always for the right reasons. But that's just me and my stupid idea of standing up for myself. Don't follow it.

Thank you for adding the last line :D

I just wanted to render my answer a non-answer because it's more fun when you engage people for some time and then suddenly reveal they wasted their time.

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uninspiredcup

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#30 uninspiredcup
Member since 2013 • 62638 Posts

I don't handle confrontation well.

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#31 bmanva
Member since 2002 • 4680 Posts

Most of the time rudeness is simply the result of someone being inconsiderate, with strangers I tend to ignore those. Don't have the time or inclination to teach those people what they should have learned from their parents. If it's a coworker or a friend, then I will bring it up and discuss the source of the behavior.