How do you deal with a parents death?

.....I just want hear opinions. If it happened to you, how did you find the effort to wake up in the morning?

Cancer is real problem that needs to be delt with...

Sorry if this isn't the topic to talk about here...

Way too much weed, and when there is no weed to vape, lots of crying.

What I've found has helped over the years is focusing on happy times, looking at pictures of the smiles and get-togethers. Anything to distract from the images in my head of hospitals and the like.

Hmm. I understand. I don't do.."Trees" but remembering the good times helps me...And it also makes me feel worse.

I guess we need...Time.

Grieve at your own speed. Don't be too hard on yourself and impose a timeline for getting over your loss. The Victorians took 2-4 years to mourn a death. While that doesn't have to be you, don't expect to be ready to get back into the swing of things after a few weeks, a month, or however much time you think you need. Instead, be patient with yourself and let go of the expectations you may have for yourself.

• Try to keep in mind that grieving is a process. You'll probably be grieving in some way for a long, long time, though hopefully it won't always be this intense. Work through it in your own time.

Accept that your parent would want you keep living. Though it's normal to be depressed, remember that your parent loved you and wouldn't want this event to cripple your life forever. As you work through the loss, try to get back into doing the things you enjoyed before. Of course, this is easier said than done, but it doesn't mean that you should forget about the fact that your parent was happiest when you were happiest. This doesn't mean you have to sweep all of your negative feelings under the rug, but it does mean that you should make an effort to keep enjoying the little things as much as you can.

• Of course, if you feel completely devastated by the loss and unable to get back into the swing of things right away, don't let the memory of your parent make you feel guilty about not getting back on your feet.

Remember your parent. They will always have been a big part of your life no matter what, even if they have passed away. Write down your memories together because as you go on you probably don't want to forget those moments in your life. You just have to know that they will never leave that place in your heart. Take comfort in the memories you have of that person without obsessing over not remembering every little thing. Just do the best you can.

• You can talk to the people who also knew your parent about him or her to keep the memory alive. You can also tell stories about the parent to people who did not know him or her, from time to time.
• You can also ask family members questions about your parent to help understand all of his or her life experiences. This can add a new layer to your relationship with your parent, and can make your memory of your parent even more vivid.

Take care of yourself. Be a little more gentle on yourself than you usually would. Take extra time to relax, try to find constructive distractions, and shut down any self-criticism for now. Though you may be filled with too much grief to care about your own well-being, it's important to get at least 7-8 hours of sleep, eat three healthy meals a day, and to get at least 30 minutes of exercise per day. It's likely that you'll be in need of energy because of your loss, and keeping your body in order will help you not feel so sluggish.

• Of course, sleeping and eating well won't help you forget your parent completely. But it will make it much easier for you to go about your daily life while dealing with your loss.

Know your triggers. It's important to be aware of when you'll be the most upset and to know that you'll need extra support. For example, if you lost your father, you may need to spend some extra time with your loved ones on Father's Day; if you lost your mother, then you may get upset during certain activities, like shopping, that you traditionally did with your mother. Knowing what will make you upset will help you prepare to not be alone during those times.

Don't get too hung up on the five stages of grief. It's true that there are five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, but that doesn't mean that you have to neatly go through each of those stages in order to truly deal with the loss of your parent. You may be angry or depressed first, feel denial later, or bargain after you feel depression, and there's nothing wrong with that. Everyone grieves in his or her own way, at his or her own time.

Avoid making any big decisions at first. Your parent's death may make you realize that your marriage is a lie, that your career is meaningless, or that you should drop everything and become a pineapple farmer in Hawaii. While all of these realizations may be true, you should avoid doing anything impulsive or acting on them until you feel ready to make a rational decision. Making big changes in your life probably won't help you get over your parent's death any faster, and you may end up doing something that you regret.

That's way, way deep. Sorry to hear about your hard time. My father died of cancer when I was 15. The silver lining in my situation (if you can call it that) was he abused basically everyone in my family and was kind of a terrorist to my childhood. I was actually kind of relieved when he finally died. So I guess, I'm not sure how one would deal with that. Like any other form of sadness, I'm sure it takes a lot of time.

My mother passed away from cancer 6 years ago. I was only 19 at the tme and i becaume a huge alcoholic and mcat (mephedrone) addict. Definitely not the way I should have handled it. In the end when i finally sorted my self out. I guess it was just time and the support from my friends. That helped me get "over" it

Accept that suffer will come and stay for some time, look for the love of others...

I've never faced this before tbh. My parents are both in their 60s.

Very slowly really. I do not think you will ever "get over it" but you will learn to live with it.

I still often have wierd dreams about the one parent that died, often different states of dying but not dead. Likely part of the brain that wants to push the notion away in my dreams.

But getting to live with it on a daily basis, I suppose involves talking about the good times, having those good memories about the parent.

In all honesty the part of them dying is far worse then them being dead. So while painful to remember the dead, it is far less painful then seeing someone dying, atleast to me.

While my Parents are still living which I can't tell you but I can tell you how I deal with my Grandparents death. Back in 1989, my Grandparents babysit me and my 2 sisters when we were young growing up so they were our guardian angels when our parents were working. but in 1992, my Grand mom past in July, later my Grand Dad in November cause he was a heavy smoker suffering lung cancer. I was kinda young but I understood what death means so I was hurt so it was hard. The best way I can say is, life just continues, we move on and we also have memories to treasure. My mom told me and my 2 sisters.

Everyone's journey through grief is different. Looking forward to days ahead, revisiting memories, trying not to dwell on unhappy moments or wishing you had done something different. Keep the negativity to a minimal and above all don't let anyone give you a time frame on your grief.

i don't think i'll be able to handle this. i'm already torturing myself with imagining the moment i get the news and my life without them. i just wish that i'll die before them.

I know the feeling about your close family passing away and i lost my mother in 1998 and still to this day is hurts me and i also do things to make me happy in life with gaming and also doing my videos on youtube and more. I know its hard but just keep in mind that they are into an good place looking down on you being really happy for you.

@VaguelyTagged: hey i dont know you but it will be ok and i used to always feel the same feeling when my people passed away and i am telling you that they would want you to live your life keep your head up

One day at a time.....it gets easier. And they do live in your memory.

@LJS9502_basic: you are right homie and you'll never forget about them

Cancer is what got him, so I had time to prepare and resign myself to the fact that he wasn't going to make it.

Still haunts my dreams every blue moon. But I felt the best way to cope at the time was just accept what was happening and learn to move on afterwards.

Exactly the same situation with me. I have no good memories of my father, he was an abusive and violent asshole, so I felt nothing when he died, except the relief that his suffering from cancer was over.

That being said @pikachudude860, my grandmother's death was devastating to me...she died while I was young and I felt like I had lost my best friend. It took a long time to get over with and it still hurts 25 years later but I always tried to be a person she could be proud of and I feel like I'm honoring her memory and her teachings by continuing to do so. I think @erazor51 gave you very good advice as well and touched the most important points. Just know that you have people here you can talk to if you want to. My "door" (read my inbox) is always open to you.

@pikachudude860:

My father died in 2007 of a cerebral aneurysm, quite a shock because he was in good health. I was sad for quite awhile, strange thing is, I took a sudden interest in fishing after he died, I think it was something subconscious because we had never gone fishing together, perhaps I was sad we never had those moments together since he wasn't around as often as I would have liked.

As for Cancer, well, I hear you brother, I'm a Blood Cancer survivor (Lymphoma), and it's nasty because Cancer will soon be the leading cause of death (it's 2nd now), it's unpredictable when it hits, and you are never the same after you are shot up with the poisonous chemicals that constitute chemotherapy. Never, it ravages you. But the choice is poison you can survive or succumb to a deadly disease :(

i lost my grandfather and couldnt take seeing him, like that, dont know what i will do if i loose my mother.

My father died of stage IV liver cancer last year and I hated him. Domestic violence and abuse for 10 years with him. I didn't even talk to him while he was dying, that's how much rage I had inside me and it would be disrespectful of me to punish someone while they're dying.

Now my mom is seeing me face cancer with B-cell Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia, when this whole time I was afraid of losing her. The days I feel good it's hopeful, the days I feel ill, agony just becomes my only reality.

@erazor51: Thank you for that very long and helpful post. Reading it makes me feel better. I'll try to listen to it. Thank you very much. = )

Thank you very much everyone for the loving advice and comments. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one that has to deal with this.

I understand the feeling. I've thought that way for years. But just know that if something happened to you, how would THEY feel?

IMO, it's best to just live life to the fullest. Try not to think about death and stuff. Just enjoy life and be happy. "Each day is a gift. That is why it's called the present."

@Gaming-Planet I'm sorry to hear that. I pray that you feel better and live a long happy life.

@korvus Thank you. I felt the same way about my Grandmother. Waking up in the morning and realizing she's gone is...Heartbreaking, to say the least.

@pikachudude860: To this day my most valued possession is a tiny leather wallet (fits on the palm of my hand) with an engraved rose that she made...

@Gaming-Planet: Hope you get some good news soon my friend. Please let us know (if you wish to) how your situation is developing. We're here for you as well.