How do you feel about longterm relationships?

Seems like it's about split down the middle from what I've been hearing lately. Personally I avoid them like the plague.

My grand father told me something shortly before he died, "40-50 years down the road after being married, you'll look over at your partner, and be disgusted with yourself." and that's probably the best relationship advice I've ever gotten.

Seems like it's about split down the middle from what I've been hearing lately. Personally I avoid them like the plague.

My grand father told me something shortly before he died, "40-50 years down the road after being married, you'll look over at your partner, and be disgusted with yourself." and that's probably the best relationship advice I've ever gotten.

LittleHands134

lol, wow, that's some buzz kill advice there.

[QUOTE="LittleHands134"]

Seems like it's about split down the middle from what I've been hearing lately. Personally I avoid them like the plague.

My grand father told me something shortly before he died, "40-50 years down the road after being married, you'll look over at your partner, and be disgusted with yourself." and that's probably the best relationship advice I've ever gotten.

xaos

[QUOTE="xaos"][QUOTE="LittleHands134"]

Seems like it's about split down the middle from what I've been hearing lately. Personally I avoid them like the plague.

My grand father told me something shortly before he died, "40-50 years down the road after being married, you'll look over at your partner, and be disgusted with yourself." and that's probably the best relationship advice I've ever gotten.

LittleHands134

I've never had a girlfriend, but all I've ever wanted was a legitimate long term relationship. If I were to marry the first girl I had a relationship, I wouldn't mind at all to be "one and done." lol

Their definitly doable. I've seen people actually more in love with each other after years of trial and hardship. So it's possible, even in difficult relationships. At the same time, I've seen a lot of failed long term relationships as well.

I've never had a girlfriend, but all I've ever wanted was a legitimate long term relationship. If I were to marry the first girl I had a relationship, I wouldn't mind at all to be "one and done." lol

CJL182

[QUOTE="CJL182"]

I've never had a girlfriend, but all I've ever wanted was a legitimate long term relationship. If I were to marry the first girl I had a relationship, I wouldn't mind at all to be "one and done." lol

LittleHands134

You are taking experience and assume all people are the same. It's just too much of a generalization to make, even if in many cases it's true. I am not denying what you say. There are many cases where that is true. But not everyone will have relationships like that. And it's certainly more common than winning the lottery, that was an overdramatic analogy.

[QUOTE="LittleHands134"][QUOTE="CJL182"]

I've never had a girlfriend, but all I've ever wanted was a legitimate long term relationship. If I were to marry the first girl I had a relationship, I wouldn't mind at all to be "one and done." lol

organic_machine

You are taking experience and assume all people are the same. It's just too much of a generalization to make, even if in many cases it's true. I am not denying what you say. There are many cases where that is true. But not everyone will have relationships like that. And it's certainly more common than winning the lottery, that was an overdramatic analogy.

[QUOTE="organic_machine"]

[QUOTE="LittleHands134"] It's not all it's cut out to be. My longest relationship was three years, and it was hell. She was a nice enough person, but the constant nagging, never ending whining, and day to day nuisances of an average relationship will eventually get to you. It got to the point where I retreated to video games, and would just play on my PC whenever she came home, just so I could avoid hearing her voice. To find a girl who would be "Marriage Material" is like the winning the lottery, and even so she'll annoy you after a couple years.LittleHands134

You are taking experience and assume all people are the same. It's just too much of a generalization to make, even if in many cases it's true. I am not denying what you say. There are many cases where that is true. But not everyone will have relationships like that. And it's certainly more common than winning the lottery, that was an overdramatic analogy.

They are fine if you don't hook up for the wrong reasons or the wrong one.

My father said "love is a rush of **** to the heart", and when it deals with types like his, he's right, but when its the right one, hes an idiot.

Finding a good woman is like sticking your hand in a barrel of rusty nails looking for a diamond. Your hand will be so cut up and infected by the time you eventually find that diamond, that you won't even be able to enjoy it.LittleHands134

[QUOTE="organic_machine"]

[QUOTE="LittleHands134"] It's not all it's cut out to be. My longest relationship was three years, and it was hell. She was a nice enough person, but the constant nagging, never ending whining, and day to day nuisances of an average relationship will eventually get to you. It got to the point where I retreated to video games, and would just play on my PC whenever she came home, just so I could avoid hearing her voice. To find a girl who would be "Marriage Material" is like the winning the lottery, and even so she'll annoy you after a couple years.LittleHands134

You are taking experience and assume all people are the same. It's just too much of a generalization to make, even if in many cases it's true. I am not denying what you say. There are many cases where that is true. But not everyone will have relationships like that. And it's certainly more common than winning the lottery, that was an overdramatic analogy.

Nah, I think that's a pretty accurate analogy. Look at the divorce rates in America for example, correct me if I'm wrong, but it's about 50%. That's not even counting failed relationships that never make it to marriage, or homes that are doing horribly but refuse to divorce for whatever reason. Here's a better analogy though. Finding a good woman is like sticking your hand in a barrel of rusty nails looking for a diamond. Your hand will be so cut up and infected by the time you eventually find that diamond, that you won't even be able to enjoy it.LittleHands134

I agree with you in that not many mariages work out. It isn't easy to find one that works with your personality. I admit that. But I really still think you are making the process out to be next to impossible. I think it takes a redesigning of personal will. Is love an emotional feeling? Or is it a willing acceptance? Both? It really depends on the answer. What I've found interesting is that those who I've seen a last long time in relationships went by the idea that love comes from the will. And what is even more interesting is that emotions followed. And since their love was not based on the emotions, the emotions were able to come and go and come back again, but they would still be together and their love was still the same. That's not a fantasy. I've seen it happen many many times with my own eyes.

I don't think it's a matter of it being impossible as it is people looking for the wrong things. Just my experience, though.

I am 21, and I am pushing 8 years in my relationships and, I must say, I love longterm relationship.

Most people have a difficult time making it work, but you learn that it is a lot of give and take......and imtimate moments :D

Well, congratulations on such an overdeveloped sense of cynicism, I guess. I hope it keeps you warm while I enjoy my ongoing relationship, coming up on 6 years of cohabitation with about 1.5 years of dating prior to that.organic_machine

My sheets keep me warm at night, I don't need anyone taking up space in the bed and breathing disgusting morning breath in my face when I'm waking up.

Your relationship probably seems fine now, but get back to me in about 10 years. If you get married, statistically you could flip a coin and that would be the same chance of your relationship going up in the flames. You don't need another person to determine your happiness, or to feel fulfilled with your life, that's just the easy way out.

For example, when I realized that, I broke up with the person I was dating at the time and went on a short vacation to see parts of the world I've never seen before. Something I wouldn't have been able to do if I had someone tying me down into a passive steady lifestyle.

[QUOTE="organic_machine"]

Well, congratulations on such an overdeveloped sense of cynicism, I guess. I hope it keeps you warm while I enjoy my ongoing relationship, coming up on 6 years of cohabitation with about 1.5 years of dating prior to that.LittleHands134

My sheets keep me warm at night, I don't need anyone taking up space in the bed and breathing disgusting morning breath in my face when I'm waking up.

Your relationship probably seems fine now, but get back to me in about 10 years. If you get married, statistically you could flip a coin and that would be the same chance of your relationship going up in the flames. You don't need another person to determine your happiness, or to feel fulfilled with your life, that's just the easy way out.

For example, when I realized that, I broke up with the person I was dating at the time and went on a short vacation to see parts of the world I've never seen before. Something I wouldn't have been able to do if I had someone tying me down into a passive steady lifestyle.

You quoted the wrong person. ;)

[QUOTE="xaos"]

Well, congratulations on such an overdeveloped sense of cynicism, I guess. I hope it keeps you warm while I enjoy my ongoing relationship, coming up on 6 years of cohabitation with about 1.5 years of dating prior to that.LittleHands134

My sheets keep me warm at night, I don't need anyone taking up space in the bed and breathing disgusting morning breath in my face when I'm waking up.

Your relationship probably seems fine now, but get back to me in about 10 years. If you get married, statistically you could flip a coin and that would be the same chance of your relationship going up in the flames. You don't need another person to determine your happiness, or to feel fulfilled with your life, that's just the easy way out.

For example, when I realized that, I broke up with the person I was dating at the time and went on a short vacation to see parts of the world I've never seen before. Something I wouldn't have been able to do if I had someone tying me down into a passive steady lifestyle.

I feel like I want one.

I think all the unhappiness from long term relationships is because people do not choose wisely. Thats why so many divorces fail, people don't get what they are looking for, they just settle for someone along the way and end up miserable. Never settle, always look for someone you'll love. I think a long term relationship with someone who you truely love, not just settled for, will be long lasting and happy.

[QUOTE="LittleHands134"]

[QUOTE="xaos"]

Well, congratulations on such an overdeveloped sense of cynicism, I guess. I hope it keeps you warm while I enjoy my ongoing relationship, coming up on 6 years of cohabitation with about 1.5 years of dating prior to that.xaos

My sheets keep me warm at night, I don't need anyone taking up space in the bed and breathing disgusting morning breath in my face when I'm waking up.

Your relationship probably seems fine now, but get back to me in about 10 years. If you get married, statistically you could flip a coin and that would be the same chance of your relationship going up in the flames. You don't need another person to determine your happiness, or to feel fulfilled with your life, that's just the easy way out.

For example, when I realized that, I broke up with the person I was dating at the time and went on a short vacation to see parts of the world I've never seen before. Something I wouldn't have been able to do if I had someone tying me down into a passive steady lifestyle.

When you're traveling with another person, you can never go at your own pace. For example, I visited France with that one girlfriend I mentioned earlier, and throughout the trip we just went back and forth through art/dining areas and other places she was interested in. Recently though, I visited London by myself and I was able to meet a lot of people, visit the places I wanted to go to, and visit some other places that would have never happened if I had my partner tagging along.

It's not so much an adventure, as much as a tourist journey when you're with your girlfriend.

As for the quote, sorry Organicmachine, just noticed that after it was mentioned.

[QUOTE="LittleHands134"][QUOTE="organic_machine"]You are taking experience and assume all people are the same. It's just too much of a generalization to make, even if in many cases it's true. I am not denying what you say. There are many cases where that is true. But not everyone will have relationships like that. And it's certainly more common than winning the lottery, that was an overdramatic analogy.xaos

if that is what does it for you.

When you're traveling with another person, you can never go at your own pace. For example, I visited France with that one girlfriend I mentioned earlier, and throughout the trip we just went back and forth through art/dining areas and other places she was interested in. Recently though, I visited London by myself and I was able to meet a lot of people, visit the places I wanted to go to, and visit some other places that would have never happened if I had my partner tagging along.

It's not so much an adventure, as much as a tourist journey when you're with your girlfriend.

As for the quote, sorry Organicmachine, just noticed that after it was mentioned.

LittleHands134

[QUOTE="organic_machine"]

Well, congratulations on such an overdeveloped sense of cynicism, I guess. I hope it keeps you warm while I enjoy my ongoing relationship, coming up on 6 years of cohabitation with about 1.5 years of dating prior to that.LittleHands134

My sheets keep me warm at night, I don't need anyone taking up space in the bed and breathing disgusting morning breath in my face when I'm waking up.

Your relationship probably seems fine now, but get back to me in about 10 years. If you get married, statistically you could flip a coin and that would be the same chance of your relationship going up in the flames. You don't need another person to determine your happiness, or to feel fulfilled with your life, that's just the easy way out.

For example, when I realized that, I broke up with the person I was dating at the time and went on a short vacation to see parts of the world I've never seen before. Something I wouldn't have been able to do if I had someone tying me down into a passive steady lifestyle.

That is silly.

You are implying correlation with causation.

Because America has a relatively high divorce rate, which I believe has been on the decline in the last decade or so, you assume that any relationship you get in is destined to fail. Well, technically, if you think that way it will fail.

*Gasp* You are your own self-fulfilling prophecy

Joking aside, I do not understand how being in a relationship keeps you from doing the things you want. Nothing in your life is hampered by another person....absolutely nothing. A relationship is a commitment that two people, sometimes more, decide to share. However, either partner can still do whatever the hell they want with or without the other person's knowledge or approval.

Basically, you are not limited in the goings on of your life simply because you are dating.

To me it seems like you are trying to justify some heartbreak you may be experiencing. If that is the case, you are not alone. Most people, after their first few heartbreaks, tend to give up and assume love is worthless and unnecessary. If that is not the case, I feel for you. You are abandoning one of the greatest feelings you may ever experience.

And so you know, waking up to a woman in the morning, regardless of her breath, is never a bad thing...depending on how you went to sleep.

[QUOTE="xaos"][QUOTE="LittleHands134"]

My sheets keep me warm at night, I don't need anyone taking up space in the bed and breathing disgusting morning breath in my face when I'm waking up.

Your relationship probably seems fine now, but get back to me in about 10 years. If you get married, statistically you could flip a coin and that would be the same chance of your relationship going up in the flames. You don't need another person to determine your happiness, or to feel fulfilled with your life, that's just the easy way out.

For example, when I realized that, I broke up with the person I was dating at the time and went on a short vacation to see parts of the world I've never seen before. Something I wouldn't have been able to do if I had someone tying me down into a passive steady lifestyle.

LittleHands134

When you're traveling with another person, you can never go at your own pace. For example, I visited France with that one girlfriend I mentioned earlier, and throughout the trip we just went back and forth through art/dining areas and other places she was interested in. Recently though, I visited London by myself and I was able to meet a lot of people, visit the places I wanted to go to, and visit some other places that would have never happened if I had my partner tagging along.

It's not so much an adventure, as much as a tourist journey when you're with your girlfriend.

As for the quote, sorry Organicmachine, just noticed that after it was mentioned.

Maybe you should fine someone who shares similar interests.

[QUOTE="LittleHands134"]

When you're traveling with another person, you can never go at your own pace. For example, I visited France with that one girlfriend I mentioned earlier, and throughout the trip we just went back and forth through art/dining areas and other places she was interested in. Recently though, I visited London by myself and I was able to meet a lot of people, visit the places I wanted to go to, and visit some other places that would have never happened if I had my partner tagging along.

It's not so much an adventure, as much as a tourist journey when you're with your girlfriend.

As for the quote, sorry Organicmachine, just noticed that after it was mentioned.

xaos

[QUOTE="DJ_Lae"]Your grandpa sounds like a **bleep**. He must have gotten really drunk one night, got an ugly girl pregnant, and stayed with her out of obligation.YourChaosIsntMe

[QUOTE="YourChaosIsntMe"][QUOTE="DJ_Lae"]Your grandpa sounds like a **bleep**. He must have gotten really drunk one night, got an ugly girl pregnant, and stayed with her out of obligation.DJ_Lae

[QUOTE="xaos"][QUOTE="LittleHands134"]

My sheets keep me warm at night, I don't need anyone taking up space in the bed and breathing disgusting morning breath in my face when I'm waking up.

Your relationship probably seems fine now, but get back to me in about 10 years. If you get married, statistically you could flip a coin and that would be the same chance of your relationship going up in the flames. You don't need another person to determine your happiness, or to feel fulfilled with your life, that's just the easy way out.

For example, when I realized that, I broke up with the person I was dating at the time and went on a short vacation to see parts of the world I've never seen before. Something I wouldn't have been able to do if I had someone tying me down into a passive steady lifestyle.

LittleHands134

When you're traveling with another person, you can never go at your own pace. For example, I visited France with that one girlfriend I mentioned earlier, and throughout the trip we just went back and forth through art/dining areas and other places she was interested in. Recently though, I visited London by myself and I was able to meet a lot of people, visit the places I wanted to go to, and visit some other places that would have never happened if I had my partner tagging along.

It's not so much an adventure, as much as a tourist journey when you're with your girlfriend.

As for the quote, sorry Organicmachine, just noticed that after it was mentioned.

wow it seems that your relationships have not gone well, ive been with my lady for around 4 years and i have towo children with her and i can tell you it was hard in the beginning than it is now. Im not saying its always like that but we were figuring are selfs out and had to adjust to each others behaviors. I think with time as long as you strive to make the realtionship work and accept the changes that each person makes you will be fine. i hope to be with my girl till i die which could very well be around 50 to 60 years and im fine with that, its going to be hard work but nothings worth it unless you work hard at it. I feel sorry for you grandfather if he didnt have a happy relationship, no disrespect to him but if he didnt like it then he should have got out. no one should feel stuck.

[QUOTE="xaos"][QUOTE="LittleHands134"]

When you're traveling with another person, you can never go at your own pace. For example, I visited France with that one girlfriend I mentioned earlier, and throughout the trip we just went back and forth through art/dining areas and other places she was interested in. Recently though, I visited London by myself and I was able to meet a lot of people, visit the places I wanted to go to, and visit some other places that would have never happened if I had my partner tagging along.

It's not so much an adventure, as much as a tourist journey when you're with your girlfriend.

As for the quote, sorry Organicmachine, just noticed that after it was mentioned.

LittleHands134

It wasn't a physical issue. My grand mother looked fine for someone her age. I'm guessing you missed the point of the advice, but he was mentioning how he was disgusted with himself for letting 50 years get away from him just because he was comfortable, when he could have been out living his life.LittleHands134