how do you move on/forget about people who have hurt you?

I mean, growing up i had a HUGE bullying problem. In the 6th and 7th grade, ilfe was pure hell. each day meant constant harassment and bullying, both physical and mental. because i didnt have good social skills because of how i was raised (really sheltered by my parents) i was an easy target and was unable to stand up for myself. during high school, i had consistent girl problems. every time i have ever liked a girl, she has lead me on and broken my heart. this has continued to this day.

I dont wanna end up like the guy who holds massive grudges in his adult life for what has happened in the past. how do i let it go?

Move on?

Take that pain and angste and put it to music or art or just life to better yourself.

Time...
Time will bring new problems.
Soon you'll have so many things to care about, so many problems to solve, you won't even have the time to think about those guys.
In the meantime, try telling yourself that by thinking about them, you are only letting them hurt you even more.

**** It, ma.

It's in the past. Nothing can be done to take back the actions.

Keep yourself busy and try not to think about it. There's no magic remedy, just time. Know that nothing can be done and life moves on.

I'm currently trying to get over certain events that recently happened as well. Sucks man.

OP.... brah.... those people that hurt you, didn't care at all about you. So why do you care enough bout them to hold grudges. Grab a few brews, some pizza, put on a funny movie and enjoy urself. More fun if u ask me.Moo-Moo-Milk

This.

Holding grudges is just going to make you angry/sad. So it's like, you're basically continuing to allow those bullies to make you feel bad even though they are gone. It's essentially like, they're no longer there to beat you up, so you're deciding to beat yourself up instead. And why would you do that to yourself?

It's like, where I work, our former boss was a HUGE jerk. About a year and a half ago, he got fired and almost everyone was glad. Fast-forward to 18 months later, and there's one employee who still constantly talks about how he hated the old boss. And people say to him, "Jesus, dude...you're still talking about that guy?"

The angry guy then replies, "yeah, I hate his guts."

I'm then like, "yeah, everyone else hated him too. But he's been gone for a year and a half, and you're the only one here who's still getting mad about him."

If all else fails, there's always murder.luisen123

Time helps a lot. But usually surrounding yourself of the right people, good friends, experiencing good things helps you forget about the past. And think on the future.Darthkaiser

And I cannot emphasize enough how important it is (in a general sense, not just in terms of "moving on") to associate with the "right people".

I mean, the wrong people will drag you down, and not even INTENTIONALLY. Hang out with certain people long enough, and their attitudes and values will transfer over to you to some extent or another. You want a more positive attitude, then spend more time with people who have a positive attitude. Wish you were smarter? Then it helps to spend more time hanging out with people who aren't constantly talking about stupid **** (even if you happen to be the "dumb guy" in the group).

But yeah...it's sort of generally true that behaviour dictates thoughts and feelings at least as much as thoughts and feeling dictate behaviour. You want to think more positively, then spend more time with people who think positively (or at the very least, limit your contact with people who think negatively). That's not saying that they are BAD people. You don't have to judge them and you don't have to be an ass. But if associating with them is detrimental to what you want for yourself, then it's time to make a change.

i do hate the people for awhile but eventually the hate dissipates

i find moving helps. get to start fresh.

I don't know how to help you. I can't seem to hold a grudge at all. I just seem to forget things extremely easily. I never could understand why people stay so mad at eachother for so long. :P

I simply forget about them. As time passes it becomes possible.

I had the same issues as ya when I was younger, so I completely understand man.

Find new awesome people and it makes it really easy to move on.

Tis great when it comes to girls especially. I just had a bad experience with a girl just stopping talking to me after our first date, but now a month later I am already talking to another awesome girl so it doesn't matter to me anymore.

The best thing you can do is do the best you can at being successful in life. Nothing is more satisfying then to look back into the past at those people who thought they were better then you and realise you are more successful then they will ever dream to be. Success also includes taking care of yourself physically as well. This means going to the gym and eating decent. You will be astonished at how theraputic that can be and how your mentality will improve. It also is satisfying to know you look and feel better then those people as well. Yes, they may never know how succesful or great you look...but you will.junglist101

Learn. Learn from these painful experiences so that you do not ever feel like that again.

Learn. Learn from these painful experiences so that you do not ever feel like that again.

TehFuneral

You kill them.

OP.... brah.... those people that hurt you, didn't care at all about you. So why do you care enough bout them to hold grudges. Grab a few brews, some pizza, put on a funny movie and enjoy urself. More fun if u ask me.Moo-Moo-Milk

I also used to be bullied in school. Well, not so much, but still. Do you know what I finally did to stop that? The person who was bullying me the most once grabbed me and locked me inside a little closet that was in the school. So many students were standing out (he was amongst them) and laughing hard at me. Then my friend came and opened the closet. As soon as I was out, I felt like I had lost my mind and I didn't care whether I kill someone that day or not. So I just ran toward that guy and jumped on him and started punching him. I really didn't know what the hell I was doing. I personally don't like hurting anybody, but that day I had really lost my mind. All of the other students were actually gotten used to me as "the guy who gets bullied and can't do anything about it." They were really surprised of what I did, and since that day on, everybody started to like me and they stopped bullying me completely.

So, if you ever get bullyed, I suggest you show the person that bullied you no mercy and teach him a lesson.

Concerning the girl thing, I also have the same problem. It seems to me that I have no luck with girls. So with that I don't think I can really help... since I myself need help with that matter. :)

I know I haven't helped much, but I hope I at least brought your spirits up a bit. One last thing I wish to say though: always be optimistic in life and never let anybody bring you down. Live life happily and don't give a s**t about what people say about you.

P.S: I'm telling you this stuff now as well as to my self. Because I find it hard to forget people that hurt me. Something similar happened to me in Yahoo! Answers yesterday when some people started saying I'm a troll, and I'm going to post a thread about it. I hope nobody calls me a troll this time!

I made new friends after leaving them behind and started working harder in school as well as participating in more events. Once you distract yourself by occupying your time with more important things, you begin to find less reason to resent things from the past.

Just move on anyway you should've stand up to those Bullies

I know how you feel. All the way through secondary school I was being bullied and I had barely any friends. The same week as I finished school I met a really nice guy and we went out for a few months. He dumped me and I had absolutely no friends left (I lost contact with everyone after school ended so he was all I had)

The only way to move on is to not think about it too much and to focus on the present.

[QUOTE="Moo-Moo-Milk"]OP.... brah.... those people that hurt you, didn't care at all about you. So why do you care enough bout them to hold grudges. Grab a few brews, some pizza, put on a funny movie and enjoy urself. More fun if u ask me.MrGeezer

This.

Holding grudges is just going to make you angry/sad. So it's like, you're basically continuing to allow those bullies to make you feel bad even though they are gone. It's essentially like, they're no longer there to beat you up, so you're deciding to beat yourself up instead. And why would you do that to yourself?

It's like, where I work, our former boss was a HUGE jerk. About a year and a half ago, he got fired and almost everyone was glad. Fast-forward to 18 months later, and there's one employee who still constantly talks about how he hated the old boss. And people say to him, "Jesus, dude...you're still talking about that guy?"

The angry guy then replies, "yeah, I hate his guts."

I'm then like, "yeah, everyone else hated him too. But he's been gone for a year and a half, and you're the only one here who's still getting mad about him."

The idealistic viewpoint. In a perfect world, yea. But what about dealing with people who have seriously, irreparably HURT you, not just some prick boss who gave you grief for coming in 5 minutes late? Someone that killed a relative instead? How the hell do you move on from that? I have no idea, and forgiveness is a foreign concept to me.