I was upstairs earlier tonight playing Xbox 360 when I heard a noise from downstairs. We have a rambunctious cat, so at first, I thought nothing of it. He always knocks stuff over. I went back to playing, when I heard loud thump, and this time, I thought he knocked over something big, so I paused my game and went down to invesitigate.
I turned on the hallway light, andcalled out his name, "Heathcliffe!" I have a rare cat that will actually meow if you call out his name, but I heard no response. I called out again. "Heathcliffe?" Nothing. Then I go into the family room and turn on the light. For a split second, I saw the rocker moving a little, so I look behind it, and then I hear scuffling on the other side. I got out from the rocker to see what it was, but no such luck.
"Meh, the cat's just restless," I thought to myself. I head back upstairs and play my game again, when this time, I heard glass breaking. That's it! Back downstairs I go, and now I hear a voice. "Where are they? Where is it?" It's coming from the kitchen, so I open the coat closet, grab an umbrella, and run into the kitchen. I turn on the lights, and then that's when I saw someone on the other side of the counter. I told him I had a weapon (didn't tell him it was an umbrella, because I was afraid he wouldn't take me seriously) and I told him to come out from behind the counter.
Then I heard a bunch of rummaging from the cabinet, so I quickly moved around the counter to face the burglar. To my amazement, it was a leprechaun! He was throwing all my cereal out on the floor! I told him to stop just as he pulled another box of cereal out from the cabinet, and then I realized what he was after. He yelled at me, "You stole me Lucky Charms, now I'm stealing them back!"
He tried to make a break for the window he came in from, but I hooked his belt with the handle of my umbrella and yanked him onto the floor. I then gave him a People's Elbow (yeah, I watch too much wrestling, but it came in handy this time), and then proceeded to sit on him (I'm a good 225) to keep him still. He demanded I let him go, but then I told him, "Look, either I call the cops, or you tell me where your pot of gold is." He then replied, "I have no pot o' gold!" I told him I didn't believe him, but he then he told me something that made me believe him. "Alright look, I had a pot o' gold, but the government, you see. They took it all for taxes!"
Doesn't the IRS just plain suck? :(
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