@hell_player said:
@br0kenrabbit: So what are you supposed to say then?
For example in you're in a bar what do you talk about with a girl so after a little while you can kiss her?
It depends.
You've really got to get comfortable flying by the seat of your pants. You gotta pick up and read what she isn't saying. Is she alone? With friends? Does she look like she's having a good time or is she sulking alone? Is she dressed to kill or just off from work?
Always start out talking about her...compliment her dress, her accent...something...talk about that for a minute and then change the subject. Talk about the weather, local events, music (NOT religion and NOT politics) and don't gripe or complain about anything ("I hate this music, I wish they'd play something good" for instance).
Make eye contact and don't look away when she returns it, but don't stare. Glance at her mouth as she's talking, watch her hand as she runs it through her hair, and then return to her eyes. You want her to know that she's got your attention, but you don't want to burn a hole through her.
If things go well for a bit, get her out of there. Don't ask. If you sense she's hungry, say "Come on, let's go eat." Grab her hand or put yours behind her back and lead her out. If not dinner, then say something like "It's a nice evening, let's step outside." If in conversation she's mentioned a movie she's wanting to see, take her to see it.
You've really got to figure these things out on the fly, but the most important thing is to have fun. If you're not laughing and smiling, she isn't going to be, either.
And if you make a fool of yourself then you've got that experience to build upon next time. It's like anything: the more you do it, the better you get at it.
Hit on girls you have no intention of picking up, just for the practice. Straight-up talk to strangers and see if you can make them laugh: "Beautiful evening, what with the rain coming in all sideways and all." It's talking, almost exclusively, that's going to get a girl interested in you. The better you are at it, the better your chances. So practice talking to people you don't know every day. At the grocery store, in the parking lot, in the waiting room...gab, gab, gab.
Once you're used to talking to strangers, it's no big deal. Then you can focus on being clever and flirty and not have to worry about thinking "what am I going to say next?"
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