I need help with something very simple: Conversations

I don't know why this keeps happening to me with the opposite sex

We talk and get to know each other, and we both really like talking to each other. I don't really do anything to annoy/offend them in any way. And one day, they just completely lack enthusiasm and do thinks like:

Lack of eye contact

Only saying the bare minimum (Ex. Very quick "Yes" or "No" answers)

I don't know why this happens, but it isn't a gradual thing. It's almost as if it happens over-night. I guess I am not a good conversastionalist. Could you help? I need the following:

Good conversation-starters?

Or just plain advice would be nice, too. Also some suggestions as to why you think this is happening. 

Do you mean opposite sex as in trying to be friends or trying to be...more than friends?nuttybar

Perhaps they are playing hard to get or something....
Try not to bug people by trying to talk to them all the time either, that seems to annoy people.  Also, the next time you talk, you can talk about more stuff, like what you did yesterday, a show on T.V etc..
You have to know when a conversation is dead too; if you try to continue it you will just seem desperate.
Be yourself too....
Listen actively, if they tell you about something thats going on, next time you talk to them ask them how it's going/went.

Good luck!

Try to start with a compliment. They ALWAYS like that...no matter what they say. Flowers would be nice...it puts her in a good mood, and therefore puts you in a good mood. TRY to listen...and don't look down at the floor...not the floor or a person behind her. a55assin

[QUOTE="a55assin"]Try to start with a compliment. They ALWAYS like that...no matter what they say. Flowers would be nice...it puts her in a good mood, and therefore puts you in a good mood. TRY to listen...and don't look down at the floor...not the floor or a person behind her. Carlos_Santana

I...don't know. I've never even talked to a girl:(aaaaarrrrggggg

[QUOTE="Carlos_Santana"][QUOTE="a55assin"]Try to start with a compliment. They ALWAYS like that...no matter what they say. Flowers would be nice...it puts her in a good mood, and therefore puts you in a good mood. TRY to listen...and don't look down at the floor...not the floor or a person behind her. a55assin

I...don't know. I've never even talked to a girl:(aaaaarrrrggggg

Find out about a girl she doesn't like in your class or wherever you two meet and let her **** about that girl.

 You'll be conversing for quite awhile.

[QUOTE="Carlos_Santana"][QUOTE="a55assin"]Try to start with a compliment. They ALWAYS like that...no matter what they say. Flowers would be nice...it puts her in a good mood, and therefore puts you in a good mood. TRY to listen...and don't look down at the floor...not the floor or a person behind her. a55assin

link? 

[QUOTE="a55assin"][QUOTE="Carlos_Santana"][QUOTE="a55assin"]Try to start with a compliment. They ALWAYS like that...no matter what they say. Flowers would be nice...it puts her in a good mood, and therefore puts you in a good mood. TRY to listen...and don't look down at the floor...not the floor or a person behind her. NavigatorsGhost

link?

Perhaps they are playing hard to get or something....
Try not to bug people by trying to talk to them all the time either, that seems to annoy people. Also, the next time you talk, you can talk about more stuff, like what you did yesterday, a show on T.V etc..
You have to know when a conversation is dead too; if you try to continue it you will just seem desperate.
Be yourself too....
Listen actively, if they tell you about something thats going on, next time you talk to them ask them how it's going/went.

Good luck!

squidder_doa

I know what you mean though, and there's no easy answer to it :(

So they suddenly develop a complete lack of interest in you and become distant?  In my experience that means one of two things (Not saying they're the only two, just the only two I've encountered) Either Aunt Flow is in town and she's getting *****y or she suddenly decided that you were too nice, and thus not worth the effort.

 The latter used to happen to me a lot, and I know people it still happens to on a daily basis.  If you want to be more than friends then the best possible advice I can give you is "Don't give a ****".  Just do what you feel like doing with minimal (Minimal.  Nor zero, you're still human" consideration for her.   It's kind of a catch-22 though.  In order to get anywhere, you have to not care whether or not it goes anywhere.  Just let it go where it will. 

it's advice I got most of my life, and it took me a while to understand, but it's really the only logical way I've found for dealing with most women on any basis.  Actually, it's how I've come to deal with about 90% of people.

[QUOTE="aaaaarrrrggggg"]I...don't know. I've never even talked to a girl:(nickmag

All the diagrams i see....are naked...and lying on top of eachother:)

I don't know why this keeps happening to me with the opposite sex

We talk and get to know each other, and we both really like talking to each other. I don't really do anything to annoy/offend them in any way. And one day, they just completely lack enthusiasm and do thinks like:

Lack of eye contact

Only saying the bare minimum (Ex. Very quick "Yes" or "No" answers)

I don't know why this happens, but it isn't a gradual thing. It's almost as if it happens over-night. I guess I am not a good conversastionalist. Could you help? I need the following:

Good conversation-starters?

Or just plain advice would be nice, too. Also some suggestions as to why you think this is happening. 

Carlos_Santana

I think the first thing is that you need to feel comfortable...most bad conversations occur because of a lack of comfort.  You also have to focus a little at first, until it comes naturally.  Try to remember to make eye contact, and try thinking about if there's more to say or something to ask about.  Good luck.  :)

Roofies...or x will work just fine:wink:steppinrazor88

Women are fickle creatures.  Don't shun them, but avoid them if possible. 

Conversations are good if they're good.  Otherwise you've got to have a backup: something they think is funny, compliments, musical interlude (can you sing and play guitar at the same time?  That'll help).  Seriously, outside of sheer attraction, not a lot can help, aside from a few drinks.  Thing is though, if she's the least bit interested, your persistence will pay off.  So don't go get scared or bitter and drop out of the game.

Women are fickle creatures. Don't shun them, but avoid them if possible.

ACESandElGHTS

Roofies...or x will work just fine:wink:steppinrazor88

There's always the witty/funny comment about something that just happened.  Like say you're in class and some student says something dumb; that's your queue to say something witty about it to the girl.  Okay, bad explanation I know :(  I'm runnin on 3hrs of sleep here (^^; )  And it's wayyy easier said than done.  Like someone already said, compliments are good...like say "hey, cool boots!" or something.  Maybe wear a shirt that would be an interesting conversation starter..like with a band/character from a show she might watch.

As for the girls suddenly becoming disinterested in you...maybe you seem too pushy/desperate for attention?  It's possible you don't see it in yourself.  There's this guy at school who I'm guilty of doing this to... =x  It's just...I think he's kind of creepy now.  It's like he latches on to people who are willing to converse with him.  He keeps following me everywhere once he comes by me at school, and he'd follow me even if he was originally going somewhere else (which is obvious since I just saw him about to walk *out* the door).  And while I'm working as a Lab Assistant at school...sometimes I have to go door to door on the 2nd and 3rd floors to change the class schedules, and a normal person would just talk to me again later when I get back to the counter.....but this guy!! He followed me to every single door on both floors!!!  It's weird.  That's just one example, and he does things like that to my other friend too (who's a guy).  And I also get annoyed that on IM chats, if I don't respond *right away* he keeps asking "are you there?"  "hello?"  and saying my name over and over.  What the hell.  Maybe I'm reading something on a website or typing to someone else!!!  If you don't act desperate like that well then...maybe it really is the girl just PMSing :P  Do they ever get over whatever's bothering them and come talk to you again/make eye contact?

There's always the witty/funny comment about something that just happened.  Like say you're in class and some student says something dumb; that's your queue to say something witty about it to the girl.  Okay, bad explanation I know :(  I'm runnin on 3hrs of sleep here (^^; )  And it's wayyy easier said than done.  Like someone already said, compliments are good...like say "hey, cool boots!" or something.  Maybe wear a shirt that would be an interesting conversation starter..like with a band/character from a show she might watch.

 

As for the girls suddenly becoming disinterested in you...maybe you seem too pushy/desperate for attention?  It's possible you don't see it in yourself.  There's this guy at school who I'm guilty of doing this to... =x  It's just...I think he's kind of creepy now.  It's like he latches on to people who are willing to converse with him.  He keeps following me everywhere once he comes by me at school, and he'd follow me even if he was originally going somewhere else (which is obvious since I just saw him about to walk *out* the door).  And while I'm working as a Lab Assistant at school...sometimes I have to go door to door on the 2nd and 3rd floors to change the class schedules, and a normal person would just talk to me again later when I get back to the counter.....but this guy!! He followed me to every single door on both floors!!!  It's weird.  That's just one example, and he does things like that to my other friend too (who's a guy).  And I also get annoyed that on IM chats, if I don't respond *right away* he keeps asking "are you there?"  "hello?"  and saying my name over and over.  What the hell.  Maybe I'm reading something on a website or typing to someone else!!!  If you don't act desperate like that well then...maybe it really is the girl just PMSing :P  Do they ever get over whatever's bothering them and come talk to you again/make eye contact?

Momo-yan

Ask her what part of the hot dog she likes, and if she says "the weiner" or something like that, you know what to do. :wink:
Greatgone12

Ask her what part of the hot dog she likes, and if she says "the weiner" or something like that, you know what to do. :wink:
Greatgone12

At some point, they may begin to suspect you are romantically interested in them (even if you aren't).  If they don't feel the same way, this can lead to stand-offish body language.  It's a common way of showing someone you are not interested in a relationship without being confrontational and bluntly saying so.  But a timid reaction is not necessarily a sign of lack of interest, especially with respect to the eyes.  More information would be needed to assess the situation.