If you could go back a few thousand years and change the bible

And were given the chance to rewrite/alter the bible, would you? Or would you keep it faithful to the word of god and have no changes done?

I would change it to "THOUGH SHALT GIVETH ABCARMINE ALLETH THE RICHES AND BIGETH BOOTY WENCHES"

I would re-write it to make it so that when I'm born Christians believe that I'm god, maybe even Jews and Muslims too if it were possible.

I'd get rid of it all together or just cut out all the bad stuff

I would write that religion in itself is unnecessary, but that believing in God is good. I would also put that God is like a loving parent and you don't have to sacrifice for them and that if you did bad things, you can repent and if truly remorseful, you go to heaven. If you aren't, then you go to purgatory (like sitting in timeout or being grounded) for a time until you realize what you did and once remorseful, you get to go to Heaven. True story, I'm unique in my beliefs.

I wouldn't change a thing.

The brain and lack of education is the problem. The Bible is just a gun. How many times have the bible been edited, mistranslated, mis-interpreted, re-edited or just plain ignored (like all the rape and incest) ?

I wouldn't change a thing.

The brain and lack of education is the problem. The Bible is just a gun.

Blue-Sky

Couldn't we at least have at the first line of the Bible saying (Warning: The majority of story's listed in this writing are meant to be taken metaphorically not literally).. Would have cleared so many things up hehe.

[QUOTE="Blue-Sky"]

I wouldn't change a thing.

The brain and lack of education is the problem. The Bible is just a gun.

sSubZerOo

Couldn't we at least have at the first line of the Bible saying (Warning: The majority of story's listed in this writing are meant to be taken metaphorically not literally).. Would have cleared so many things up hehe.

Yeah until it reaches King James' hands.

I'd replace it with this.

[QUOTE="Blue-Sky"]

I wouldn't change a thing.

The brain and lack of education is the problem. The Bible is just a gun.

sSubZerOo

Couldn't we at least have at the first line of the Bible saying (Warning: The majority of story's listed in this writing are meant to be taken metaphorically not literally).. Would have cleared so many things up hehe.

I'd replace it with this.

MetroidPrimePwn

That's one of the funniest things I've seen today. Lolspeak. It's like trolling but not because you're lulzzzzzing

Add pictures..Lots and lots of pretty pictures.

The bible needs more dinosaurs. I'd also replaced Jesus with Batman.

At the end I would put

"The events depicted in this book are fictitious. Any kind of prophecy coming true is merely coincidental. Please do not attempt to worship, believe or recreate any events depicted in this book"

The bible needs more dinosaurs. I'd also replaced Jesus with Batman.

Bloodaxe726

I think The Dude is more approriate.

i believe the bible is already altered\edited

i believe the bible is already altered\edited

DarkFadi

[QUOTE="Bloodaxe726"]

The bible needs more dinosaurs. I'd also replaced Jesus with Batman.

sSubZerOo

I think The Dude is more approriate.

[QUOTE="sSubZerOo"]

[QUOTE="Bloodaxe726"]

The bible needs more dinosaurs. I'd also replaced Jesus with Batman.

KC_Hokie

I think The Dude is more approriate.

Not shocked at all.. It is a stoner movie.. Its so potent, it bakes the viewer just by watching it.

[QUOTE="Bloodaxe726"]

The bible needs more dinosaurs. I'd also replaced Jesus with Batman.

sSubZerOo

I think The Dude is more approriate.

And on the seventh day the Dude looked over all that he had made and said, "**** it," cause that's his answer to everything.

lol

"Faithful to the word of god".

If I could do that I would just prevent it from ever being written.

The bible has probably converted more people to atheists than the "atheism books" of Dennet, Harris, Dawkins or Hitchens. That is, if you read it with an open mind and notice its mistakes and contradictions, the made up stories, myths and so on. So i would leave it as it is. On another note, if i could change it i might try trolling it a bit and add even more nonsense.

Thats suggesting that the Bible is indeed the word of god.. Which I find it hard to believe afterall there was a tribune of men who decided what stories went into the Bible and what stories didn't.. That doesn't sound like the words of god to me.sSubZerOo

I wouldnt.

write something like the easiest way into heaven for females is by making lots and lots of love to me

I wouldn't change anything at all, because the Bible is the word of God.The-Apostle

[QUOTE="sSubZerOo"]Thats suggesting that the Bible is indeed the word of god.. Which I find it hard to believe afterall there was a tribune of men who decided what stories went into the Bible and what stories didn't.. That doesn't sound like the words of god to me.hiphops_savior

And the concept of a council of humans "deciding" divine inspiration doesn't strike you as odd?

And the concept of a council of humans "deciding" divine inspiration doesn't strike you as odd?theone86

I would include a book all about me :D