If you decided to kill someone, how would you want to do it?

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xxxxxn

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#1 xxxxxn
Member since 2005 • 644 Posts

First of all, before anyone freaks out and tells the mods/admins, this is a joke topic. I'm not saying that I'm going to go around killing people, nor am I suggesting that any of you should go around killing people. With that out of the way, lets get this topic started.

Let's say, hypothetically someone got mad about being cheated out of a fair chance at life and the opportunities everyone else seemed to have with much ease. Let's say that you got mad and decided to either A: Go down to the local Army recruiting center and go on a killing spree, or B: Go kill some random people one at a time in a remote area like a nature park that isn't very crowded or a back parking lot somewhere. You got cheated out of your lot in life that you deserve and you're angry about it, and that's a big part of why you're doing what you're doing.

Would you rather just bust down the door of your local army recruitment center or some other random building brandishing a knife or other weapon of choice or wait until people come out of the back door into the back parking lot where there's a fence there so nobody can see you killing them or go to a nature park where there aren't a lot of people around on the trails(You can always hide the body somewhere later by burying it underground in a secluded area late at night when nobody's awake or stuff the body in a garbage bag and throw it in the Chicago River or something)? Youcan always wash off the knife or whatever later really well about 100 times or so so there's no trace of the blood.

Me I would prefer the second option since there's much less chance of you getting caught, especially if you wear rubber gloves over your hands. Also, if you had to kill someone for reasons of your own, what weapon would you use? Me, I would prefer a knife because strangling takes too long and the person can get away more likely, and with a gun they can take the bullets out of the body and match it to the gun you own and if you try to remove the bullet, you risk your DNA getting on their body. Or you could always freeze some meat or a loaf of bread or something really hard and club the person on the head repeatedly until their brain starts bleeding or they die. You wouldn't even get caught because afterwards you can defrost the food and eat it and then they have no evidence against you. As long as was winter or late fall, the food shouldn't melt and defrost naturally, and especially if it's late fall, even if it's really cold out, there might not be snow on the ground yet.

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deactivated-57e5de5e137a4

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#2 deactivated-57e5de5e137a4
Member since 2004 • 12929 Posts
I would make them pass out somehow, then cut a little slit up in their sinus and make them drown from their own nosebleed.
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Samwel_X

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#3 Samwel_X
Member since 2006 • 13765 Posts
I'd do something really elaborate that would end in the people invovled escaping. Or I'd just use a sword.
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ConManWithGun

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#4 ConManWithGun
Member since 2005 • 6272 Posts
Cloroform+throw their body off a cliff, takes away alot of the dirty work
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353535355353535

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#5 353535355353535
Member since 2005 • 4424 Posts
I would just use a long range sniper rifle
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jzen_

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#6 jzen_
Member since 2003 • 711 Posts
hmm.. i fear we shouldn't be giving the TC any ideas. what if his story is NOT hypothetical? i remember hearing on the news a few months ago there was a man attempting suicide on webcam website. everyone urged him to do it as they assumed he was joking. once ppl realized it was real, they became worried/scared and called the cops.
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Kikouken

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#7 Kikouken
Member since 2006 • 15913 Posts
Grenade.
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Agnidev

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#8 Agnidev
Member since 2007 • 1432 Posts

First of all, before anyone freaks out and tells the mods/admins, this is a joke topic. I'm not saying that I'm going to go around killing people, nor am I suggesting that any of you should go around killing people. With that out of the way, lets get this topic started.

Let's say, hypothetically someone got mad about being cheated out of a fair chance at life and the opportunities everyone else seemed to have with much ease. Let's say that you got mad and decided to either A: Go down to the local Army recruiting center and go on a killing spree, or B: Go kill some random people one at a time in a remote area like a nature park that isn't very crowded or a back parking lot somewhere. You got cheated out of your lot in life that you deserve and you're angry about it, and that's a big part of why you're doing what you're doing.

Would you rather just bust down the door of your local army recruitment center or some other random building brandishing a knife or other weapon of choice or wait until people come out of the back door into the back parking lot where there's a fence there so nobody can see you killing them or go to a nature park where there aren't a lot of people around on the trails(You can always hide the body somewhere later by burying it underground in a secluded area late at night when nobody's awake or stuff the body in a garbage bag and throw it in the Chicago River or something)? Youcan always wash off the knife or whatever later really well about 100 times or so so there's no trace of the blood.

Me I would prefer the second option since there's much less chance of you getting caught, especially if you wear rubber gloves over your hands. Also, if you had to kill someone for reasons of your own, what weapon would you use? Me, I would prefer a knife because strangling takes too long and the person can get away more likely, and with a gun they can take the bullets out of the body and match it to the gun you own and if you try to remove the bullet, you risk your DNA getting on their body. Or you could always freeze some meat or a loaf of bread or something really hard and club the person on the head repeatedly until their brain starts bleeding or they die. You wouldn't even get caught because afterwards you can defrost the food and eat it and then they have no evidence against you. As long as was winter or late fall, the food shouldn't melt and defrost naturally, and especially if it's late fall, even if it's really cold out, there might not be snow on the ground yet.

xxxxxn

i would make someone drink soo much water that they drowned from the inside ;)

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IsNotInterestes

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#9 IsNotInterestes
Member since 2007 • 1836 Posts

American Psycho-esque.

I'd only do it if it there was absolutely nobody else around. I'd also want to kill them while they are fully awake.

Chances are, if I was going to kill someone, they have to absolutely deserve it.

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Samwel_X

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#10 Samwel_X
Member since 2006 • 13765 Posts
Change of plan, I'd stab them with an icicle then feed them to some pigs. No murder weapon, no body, no evidence.
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Samwel_X

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#11 Samwel_X
Member since 2006 • 13765 Posts

American Psycho-esque.

IsNotInterestes

Naked in a hotel with a chainsaw?

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Proobie44

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#12 Proobie44
Member since 2006 • 5663 Posts
Well if it was a girlfriend I have to take care of, then I'll do what eminem did.
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dragonflame365

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#13 dragonflame365
Member since 2007 • 544 Posts
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.................turn around!!!!:twisted:
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IsNotInterestes

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#14 IsNotInterestes
Member since 2007 • 1836 Posts
[QUOTE="IsNotInterestes"]

American Psycho-esque.

Samwel_X

Naked in a hotel with a chainsaw?

I'd rather axe them in the face.

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smallcaplegend

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#15 smallcaplegend
Member since 2006 • 3083 Posts
quick & easy, do the dirty deed, maybe drink them to death, frame this other dude, erase any records of me knowing them move to mexico with the money i get from the framed dude (trick him) I receive
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Samwel_X

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#16 Samwel_X
Member since 2006 • 13765 Posts
[QUOTE="Samwel_X"][QUOTE="IsNotInterestes"]

American Psycho-esque.

IsNotInterestes

Naked in a hotel with a chainsaw?

I'd rather axe them in the face.

Its hip to be square :)

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uncledeath2005

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#17 uncledeath2005
Member since 2005 • 5890 Posts
Get them all on a bus and drive it into a vat of acid..
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IsNotInterestes

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#18 IsNotInterestes
Member since 2007 • 1836 Posts

quick & easy, do the dirty deed, maybe drink them to death, frame this other dude, erase any records of me knowing them move to mexico with the money i get from the framed dude (trick him) I receivesmallcaplegend

The whole "moving to mexico" thing is so stupid. I'd move to somewhere interesting, not to where the police would look first.

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lonewolf604

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#19 lonewolf604
Member since 2007 • 8748 Posts

first i'd chop off their legs and arms, then i'd shoot them in the face

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deactivated-57e5de5e137a4

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#20 deactivated-57e5de5e137a4
Member since 2004 • 12929 Posts

[QUOTE="smallcaplegend"]quick & easy, do the dirty deed, maybe drink them to death, frame this other dude, erase any records of me knowing them move to mexico with the money i get from the framed dude (trick him) I receiveIsNotInterestes

The whole "moving to mexico" thing is so stupid. I'd move to somewhere interesting, not to where the police would look first.

You could move to Canada. :)

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dante_123456

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#21 dante_123456
Member since 2005 • 15011 Posts
i'd cut them in half vertically with a katana 8)
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Silver_Dragon17

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#22 Silver_Dragon17
Member since 2007 • 6205 Posts

Stabbing.

A bullet can be traced. Strangling can be noticed. Stab somebody while they sleep, and ditch the knife, and you're almost in the clear already.

What you would want to do is wear a pear of gloves and a pear of socks. That way, no fingerprints or footprints will be left. It is also advisable to wear a hair net, so you don't leave any hair samples. Stab the person (preferably in their sleep), then get as far away as possible, ditch the knife (after cleaning it) and then you're practically home free.

Not that I've done this, of course. . . . .

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worthyofnote

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#23 worthyofnote
Member since 2007 • 21896 Posts

In a brutal fisticuffs parade.

Or maybe I'd pull something out of the Big Lebowski. "I'll take that piece of yours and shove it up your ass so far, and pull the trigger til all it dos is click."

Or in some other manner involving brutality.

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smallcaplegend

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#24 smallcaplegend
Member since 2006 • 3083 Posts

[QUOTE="smallcaplegend"]quick & easy, do the dirty deed, maybe drink them to death, frame this other dude, erase any records of me knowing them move to mexico with the money i get from the framed dude (trick him) I receiveIsNotInterestes

The whole "moving to mexico" thing is so stupid. I'd move to somewhere interesting, not to where the police would look first.

why would the police look for me in mexico, my grandma has a house there in TJ they would never find me, and it would give me time to go deep in Mexico maybe move to Michoacán

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MetallicaKings

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#25 MetallicaKings
Member since 2004 • 4781 Posts
i would wear gloves, shoes that are not my size, and i would shave my head before hand. My weapon of choice would be a rock from the ground
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IsNotInterestes

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#26 IsNotInterestes
Member since 2007 • 1836 Posts
[QUOTE="IsNotInterestes"][QUOTE="Samwel_X"][QUOTE="IsNotInterestes"]

American Psycho-esque.

Samwel_X

Naked in a hotel with a chainsaw?

I'd rather axe them in the face.

Its hip to be square :)

In '87, Huey released this, Fore, their most accomplished album. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Hip to be Square", a song so catchy, most people probably don't listen to the lyrics. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of conformity, and the importance of trends, it's also a personal statement about the band itself.

Hey, Paul!
raises axe above head

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darklyghter

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#27 darklyghter
Member since 2005 • 445 Posts
Hmm... I say let the punishment fit the crime. If it was an individual who wronged me, then it may be anything from beating them to death (including a good curbing, gotta love that), on to destroying all of their loved ones, while they watched and then slowly kill them. On the other hand, maybe it is one of those "I have snapped" occasions. In that scenario, I would probably suit up with my swords and the like and just kill whomever I came across until I was put down.
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Aida-Virus

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#28 Aida-Virus
Member since 2007 • 37 Posts
Just for artistic reasons, I would take a knife and cut a design all over the body and let them bleed to death. Although maybe I would also hang them in a museum and show off me "Art Work".
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Morphic

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#29 Morphic
Member since 2003 • 4345 Posts
Well fast and dirty is the best way to kill alot of people fast. Something big and flashy will distract and kill alot all at once. Giving you plenty of time for escape. And never **** in your back yard, so far away is better. Also no plane tickets. No credit cards. Cash only and driving either your own car or stolen car. Stolen car best. It would be better if u find one in a place people park their cards forlong periods of time. Gives you better chance at getting away with it until you are done. If i have to go by the scenerio above, then bombs are my choice. Whether it was an Army recruiting center, or some random building, bombs kill/harm alot if went about right. When it comes to making the bomb, as with the car, stolen is best. Don't want anything traced to you.
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luke1889

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#30 luke1889
Member since 2004 • 14617 Posts
Sniper.
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StatixE

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#31 StatixE
Member since 2007 • 146 Posts
By repling to this topic we have already committed premetatited murder, Teh FBI will be at ur house in 9...8.......7.....6.....5
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holdenlowe

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#32 holdenlowe
Member since 2005 • 842 Posts
Shoot them point blank with a gun that I had stolen from another state while wearing gloves that don't have my fingerprints on them and I would trash the gun 3 counties over from the crime scene. I would also not kill someone in the same state as me. This way, there is very little evidence that I did anything.
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jrhawk42

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#33 jrhawk42
Member since 2003 • 12764 Posts
I'd probably be a poisoner. I'm not going to go into much detail past that.
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serjitup

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#34 serjitup
Member since 2007 • 1049 Posts

if i had the chance i would kill some one very slowly,id like to cut off toes one by one and when the toes are al gone id slice up the feet and then finally cut off the whole foot, then id do the same to the left hands and fingers.Finally if my victim was still alive id slit his wrist and throat to ultimately die.

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darklyghter

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#35 darklyghter
Member since 2005 • 445 Posts
The problem with a death that slow, is that the victims body would go into shock, quite possibly before you even got all of the toes. After that, they would not know what was happening to them.
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eo12601

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#36 eo12601
Member since 2003 • 4814 Posts

Stabbing.

A bullet can be traced. Strangling can be noticed. Stab somebody while they sleep, and ditch the knife, and you're almost in the clear already.Silver_Dragon17

And a bunch of blood everywhere can't? :P If anything, strangling would be the safer, less suspicious looking route.

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xxxxxn

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#37 xxxxxn
Member since 2005 • 644 Posts

Just out of curiousity, what is the penalty for murder in Illinois, although I would be as careful as possible not to get caught obviously? I know Illinois doesn't have the death penalty, so what is the punishment. Hypothetically speaking of course, I wouldn't want to spend 5 years in some horrible place if I got caught. Does anyone know what Illinois' punishment for murder is? Please tell me if you do. Just curious, is all.

If I moved to Alaska or Antarctica, do you think it would be likely that I would get caught or no? I mean they are pretty desolate places. Even more so than Canada, especially Antarctica. I like seafood like fish, so as long as I made a few crude spears beforehandand bought a small fishing net, I should be fine. Best part is, even if they tracked me there, I could go to an edge of a talliceberg that was already close to breaking off/apart, and stomp on it until it breaks away from the rest of the iceberg and I float away on the broken off piece that fellfrom the high ice/snow cliffwhere they can't catch me because the water is so cold they would probably freeze if they tried to swim over to the broken section of the iceberg.

Also, if I, hypothetically speaking killed somebody in Illinois, then moved to Alaska/Antarctica to hide/escape, if by some accident, the dumbass, lazy, retarded, crybaby cops did manage to track me there, would I be tried according to Illinois law or Antarctica law, because hopefully Antarctica doesn't have anything in the law books related to murder trials? Does anyone know?

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AsadMahdi59

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#38 AsadMahdi59
Member since 2005 • 7226 Posts

just kill em real fast with a knife then run like hell

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nobodyshero87

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#39 nobodyshero87
Member since 2006 • 22210 Posts
I would use a Wii mote >_>
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#40 darklyghter
Member since 2005 • 445 Posts

Just out of curiousity, what is the penalty for murder in Illinois, although I would be as careful as possible not to get caught obviously? I know Illinois doesn't have the death penalty, so what is the punishment. Hypothetically speaking of course, I wouldn't want to spend 5 years in some horrible place if I got caught. Does anyone know what Illinois' punishment for murder is? Please tell me if you do. Just curious, is all.

If I moved to Alaska or Antarctica, do you think it would be likely that I would get caught or no? I mean they are pretty desolate places. Even more so than Canada, especially Antarctica. I like seafood like fish, so as long as I made a few crude spears beforehandand bought a small fishing net, I should be fine. Best part is, even if they tracked me there, I could go to an edge of a talliceberg that was already close to breaking off/apart, and stomp on it until it breaks away from the rest of the iceberg and I float away on the broken off piece that fellfrom the high ice/snow cliffwhere they can't catch me because the water is so cold they would probably freeze if they tried to swim over to the broken section of the iceberg.

Also, if I, hypothetically speaking killed somebody in Illinois, then moved to Alaska/Antarctica to hide/escape, if by some accident, the dumbass, lazy, retarded, crybaby cops did manage to track me there, would I be tried according to Illinois law or Antarctica law, because hopefully Antarctica doesn't have anything in the law books related to murder trials? Does anyone know?

xxxxxn
No first hand knowledge of that states laws, but I would logically asume that if they have no death penalty, then you would face life in jail. You could probably vanish to one of those places pretty well. It all depends on how "important" the dead person was, as to how much effort would be put into your capture. If you were to be caught, you would face extradition charges, then you would face the law in Illinois.
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ok_go_

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#41 ok_go_
Member since 2006 • 269 Posts

Just out of curiousity, what is the penalty for murder in Illinois, although I would be as careful as possible not to get caught obviously? I know Illinois doesn't have the death penalty, so what is the punishment. Hypothetically speaking of course, I wouldn't want to spend 5 years in some horrible place if I got caught. Does anyone know what Illinois' punishment for murder is? Please tell me if you do. Just curious, is all.

If I moved to Alaska or Antarctica, do you think it would be likely that I would get caught or no? I mean they are pretty desolate places. Even more so than Canada, especially Antarctica. I like seafood like fish, so as long as I made a few crude spears beforehandand bought a small fishing net, I should be fine. Best part is, even if they tracked me there, I could go to an edge of a talliceberg that was already close to breaking off/apart, and stomp on it until it breaks away from the rest of the iceberg and I float away on the broken off piece that fellfrom the high ice/snow cliffwhere they can't catch me because the water is so cold they would probably freeze if they tried to swim over to the broken section of the iceberg.

Also, if I, hypothetically speaking killed somebody in Illinois, then moved to Alaska/Antarctica to hide/escape, if by some accident, the dumbass, lazy, retarded, crybaby cops did manage to track me there, would I be tried according to Illinois law or Antarctica law, because hopefully Antarctica doesn't have anything in the law books related to murder trials? Does anyone know?

xxxxxn

Made it way too obvious your joking around with that post!

And some people are pretty sick minded.

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Silver_Dragon17

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#42 Silver_Dragon17
Member since 2007 • 6205 Posts
[QUOTE="Silver_Dragon17"]

Stabbing.

A bullet can be traced. Strangling can be noticed. Stab somebody while they sleep, and ditch the knife, and you're almost in the clear already.eo12601

And a bunch of blood everywhere can't? :P If anything, strangling would be the safer, less suspicious looking route.

No, actually.

Strangling takes time. If the person knows you're doing it, then he has a chance to stop you. You don't want to give that chance.

The prints your hands make on his neck would be noticed, and you would be suspect. There is also the isssue of fingerprints, DNA, and others.

The blood all over the room would be his. That's all that matters.

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darklyghter

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#43 darklyghter
Member since 2005 • 445 Posts
Strangle = Piano wire, short, sweet and easilt disposed.
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-MlKE-

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#44 -MlKE-
Member since 2007 • 1796 Posts
I would put someone in a pool of baking soda and pour a ton of vinegar in and see what happens.
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SaintBlaze

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#45 SaintBlaze
Member since 2007 • 7736 Posts
Multiple hits with a baseball bat to the head. :D
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username0550

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#46 username0550
Member since 2007 • 107 Posts
id make them have to listen to simple plan AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOO that would be to mean
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thusaha

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#47 thusaha
Member since 2007 • 14495 Posts
Chainsaw.
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middito

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#48 middito
Member since 2003 • 955 Posts
Snap there neck faster than Steven Segal on a coke Rush
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AquaMantor

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#49 AquaMantor
Member since 2004 • 7571 Posts
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Killfox

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#50 Killfox
Member since 2004 • 6666 Posts
Icycle is pretty sweet. No murder weapon and no way to get prints. Drink to death. Theres a movie with Nicolas cage and hes a drunk and the way he wants to go out is to drink imself to death. So he gathers up all his licker and drinks his life away literally.