Spiders crawling into Bill Cosby's pants. You see, I see things that no other man sees. And it all started back in 3rd grade. You see, I was young and curious and Jesus asked me if I wanted to touch his pet human. I looked at its car and I died from tanginess. I was sent to Earth in a computer and a wall became my best friend. I petted it and gave it treats. Until one day the wall got shot up the butthole after Hilary Clinton threw a bullet at him. I didn't want to retrieve it so the wall died. I then drank some water from the sand and thought "I can't see my house from here, toast and cream." I then melted, farted, and transformed into a cheeseburger while singing "Thriller". I then woke up and proceeded to eat the social studies book until the Kool-Aid man came through the wall and said "OH...uhgwes" cuz someone threw paper at him in a drive by shooting. Then God fought Chuck Norris in a popcorn corndog combat and my mom won. Only she knew how to rub the kneecaps of the solar system and retrieve my toe.
None of those. When I hear North Korea, I think of StarCraft. Then I realize that it is South Korea that is fanatical about StarCraft. Then I go about my business.
I think that I'm some special trained soldier in a highly advanced nanosuit who goes about the island and shoots up North Koreans while discovering some alien secret.
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