Is it just me or is proposing kind... mean?

I mean you basically get all the time you want to think things though, then you go out and buy an expensive ring, try to create a romantic situation and propose (often in the presence of other people). ...then the other person gets, like, 5 seconds to decide - and what are they supposed to say under all that pressure - they're completely caught of guard, tons of people are watching and a person who they care about just bought an expensive ring?

I don't know a lot about proposing but it just doesn't seem fair to me.

I mean you basically get all the time you want to think things though, then you go out and buy an expensive ring, try to create a romantic situation and propose (often in the presence of other people). ...then the other person gets, like, 5 seconds to decide - and what are they supposed to say under all that pressure - they're completely caught of guard, tons of people are watching and a person who they care about just bought an expensive ring?

I don't know a lot about proposing but it just doesn't seem fair to me.

Meinhard1

Me and my wife actually talked about it before I proposed. I wasn't going to make the single most important decision of my life on a whim, after all.

Normally couples talk about marriage quite often before the man proposes...

Life seems mean the more I think of it.LostVoyager

We know. -.-

By the time you propose to someone you should already pretty much know if they're open to getting married or not. Funny thing was that when I planned to propose to my wife she had the same idea and was planning to propose to me.

Life seems mean the more I think of it.LostVoyager

You really do make every thread you enter far more depressing than it needs to be.

It should be talked about first so you know whether or not the answer will be yes.
Expensive ring and other people optional.

Normally couples talk about marriage quite often before the man proposes...

nintendoman562

[QUOTE="LostVoyager"]Life seems mean the more I think of it.airshocker

You really do make every thread you enter far more depressing than it needs to be.

Sorry, do not mean to.

In time past when I was saving up to buy an engagement ring the girl I was with was fully aware of my intentions to marry her. As such, were I given the opportunity to actually propose to her she would have already had plenty of time to think about it.

Um, yeah. The guy that asked me to prom did it in front of my entire class. I thought he was a bit of a creep but didn't want to be a b*tch and say no.

I know, not the same thing. But still, you should make sure that the person is probably going to say yes.

Um, yeah. The guy that asked me to prom did it in front of my entire class. I thought he was a bit of a creep but didn't want to be a b*tch and say no.

I know, not the same thing. But still, you should make sure that the person is probably going to say yes.

zeldaluff

Um, yeah. The guy that asked me to prom did it in front of my entire class. I thought he was a bit of a creep but didn't want to be a b*tch and say no.

I know, not the same thing. But still, you should make sure that the person is probably going to say yes.

zeldaluff

I hear its really something you discuss before the event. Some people have the balls to just go for it, but I feel like that's something worth talking about beforehand. And I don't mean like "hey, so should we get married or what?". I don't know, I'm 18. I have a long time to figure this out.

[QUOTE="zeldaluff"]

Um, yeah. The guy that asked me to prom did it in front of my entire class. I thought he was a bit of a creep but didn't want to be a b*tch and say no.

I know, not the same thing. But still, you should make sure that the person is probably going to say yes.

Fightingfan

[QUOTE="zeldaluff"]

Um, yeah. The guy that asked me to prom did it in front of my entire class. I thought he was a bit of a creep but didn't want to be a b*tch and say no.

I know, not the same thing. But still, you should make sure that the person is probably going to say yes.

Fightingfan

*shrugs* We were both going to prom either way. Considering that, I thought he would prefer a sympathy date over a public rejection.

Definitely thought you meant he proposed to you in class. Klipsh

Aaah sorry, guess it does sound like that.

Definitely would not have said yes to a marriage proposal because I felt bad :P

Me and my wife actually talked about it before I proposed. I wasn't going to make the single most important decision of my life on a whim, after all.

airshocker

i think the idea is that the other person loves you enough so that they don't need to think twice about saying "yes"

[QUOTE="zeldaluff"]

Um, yeah. The guy that asked me to prom did it in front of my entire class. I thought he was a bit of a creep but didn't want to be a b*tch and say no.

I know, not the same thing. But still, you should make sure that the person is probably going to say yes.

Fightingfan

[QUOTE="zeldaluff"]

Um, yeah. The guy that asked me to prom did it in front of my entire class. I thought he was a bit of a creep but didn't want to be a b*tch and say no.

I know, not the same thing. But still, you should make sure that the person is probably going to say yes.

Fightingfan

[QUOTE="Fightingfan"][QUOTE="zeldaluff"]

Um, yeah. The guy that asked me to prom did it in front of my entire class. I thought he was a bit of a creep but didn't want to be a b*tch and say no.

I know, not the same thing. But still, you should make sure that the person is probably going to say yes.

needled24-7

[QUOTE="needled24-7"]

[QUOTE="Fightingfan"] That's horrible. You gave him a sympathy date? I'd rather just hang out with Jill then have a sympathy date.Fightingfan

[QUOTE="Fightingfan"][QUOTE="needled24-7"]unless she pity f*cked him as well. i'd take a pity f*ck over jill

needled24-7

[QUOTE="needled24-7"]

[QUOTE="Fightingfan"] Women do that? Dude, where the fawk do I find those?Fightingfan

There's absolutely nothing forcing you to ask a girl to marry you in front of other people. That's always seemed like an odd thing to do to me. I proposed to my wife in a park on a beautiful summer's day, with nobody else around.

As far as only having 5 seconds to make up her mind, that kind of makes sense actually. If she's not ready to make a commitment to you, then chances are if you waited another year or two you'd get exactly the same answer. If she really WANTS to marry you, then answering the question shouldn't be a problem at all. If she needs to think about it and discuss it, she most likely isn't the one for you.

You shouldn't propose to someone and it's completely off guard, TC. That's only in the movies. It makes no sense in real life, even if you are in deep, passionate love.

You should talk with someone about spending the rest of your life with them. That is easily the biggest decision of your life. Now, the actual timing or location may be a surprise, but the question shouldn't be.

i think the idea is that the other person loves you enough so that they don't need to think twice about saying "yes"

needled24-7

This