A couple of my friends were having a debate about this last night and I wanted to hear some opinions.This is the situation that was being used. If I have two good friends who are dating each other, and one of them tells me they are cheating on the other and begs me not to say anything, would I be lying if I chose not to say anything?One friend was arguing that by not saying anything, you are still lying. He stated that a lie is a distortion of reality. By not saying anything, you are distorting what the person who is being cheated on knows to be true. Even though the subject of being cheated on may never come up, he is still distorting what is true through his inaction. He explained his point that inaction is no different from action using an example people may be familiar with. You see a train flying down the tracks towards a group of people. You are standing next to a lever that could change the path the train takes. If you chose not to pull the level then you still made an act. (I just completely butchered his argument)My other friend believed that not saying anything is not the same as lying. She really seemed to latch on to the idea that for something to be considered a lie, it has to be verbalized. There really isn't much more to her argument that I can remember other than that. Anyway, what are your thoughts OT?
I think it can be the same as lying but isn't always. It's very confusing though, obviously. If you omit something that makes you feel the same as if you were lying, and hurts the other person just as badly as if they were being lied to... it's just as bad as a technical lie. Has the same effect, puts you in the same position, and causes the same hurt. Doesn't quite answer your question but I think it's still just as bad.
Yep not saying something can be a lie. Whether You lie or not depend on the message You send, in respect to what the listener understands from Your message. If You say nothing and the person expects You to say something when something is wrong, You are still sending out a message. A lie.
Like in commercials, they can tell the 'truth' by sticking to 'facts' and still lie to You, by making it appear the product actually works much better than it does. They often lie to You with imagery and sounds, not words.
I think that withholding the truth is as bad as lying. They aren't exactly the same, but yeah they might as well be in my book.
Tauruslink
This, pretty much. Though I might add that sometimes keeping your mouth shut and staying out of it is the better thing to do, but in the case TC brought up, it'd be better to say something.
lying is when you don't tell the truth.... to me that is... OR AM I LYING!?The_Bio_Shu
I disagree, to me lying is defined by "attempting to deceive."
You can say something factually incorrect while honestly believing it, and while you would be wrong, you're not lying about it. On the other hand you can mistakenly tell a truth thinking that you're tricking some-one, and while you're accidentally right, you were lying.
Lying is the act of intentionally giving you false information, not the lack of giving you real information. But as another user put it, he probably isn't a good friend... at all.
That's not necesarily true...why would you allow your friend to live in a world of falsehoods...while it may not be considered LYING per se...it is still wrong...
That's not necesarily true...why would you allow your friend to live in a world of falsehoods...while it may not be considered LYING per se...it is still wrong...
Xx_Hopeless_xX
This 'er.
It may or may not be lying, depending on what you consider lying, but it's still wrong. I'd say "non-interference", i.e., don't say something if it's going to hurt someones feelings, but in this case I think the person being cheated on has the right to know.
The person who is cheating deserves to have their feelings hurt more than the person who isn't.
I would distance myself from the situation. Although I was asked to keep my mouth shut, all of the available possibilities result in me losing a friend. If I tell person 1 that person 2 is cheating, then person 2 is going to hate me as I'm presumably the only one that knows besides that person's other lover, and person 1 is going to feel bad for not telling person 2 that he/she was in fact cheating as well. So remaining completely neutral results in a bigger personal gain to myself. Better to let them dispute over this issue themselves. No matter whether or not I say anything the neutral option is the best one by far. Perhaps they never find out they are cheating on eachother, which doesn't really matter because if I tell one of them the other is cheating, that person is hardly going to pity themselves because they were guilty of the exact same thing. So I don't know. Call me a cynic but I'd rather have two friends rather than only one. Best not to get involved in matters that don't directly concern you.
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