Its a dark and stormy night....there's a baby in a basket on your doorstep.

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Capitan_Kid

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#1 Capitan_Kid
Member since 2009 • 6700 Posts
You see a note with it saying, "I have watched you from afar and have seen your good deeds. I am a dieing soul with no family so I can longer afford to take of this child and I refuse to let her wind up in those disgusting adoption centers. I implore you to take care of her on my behalf. There's 20 million in the basket. Enough to get her through childhood and college. You are the last hope" What would you do? Take care of this random child with the 20 mil? Be a scumbag and use the money on yourself? The resources are right there so why not I say.
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konvikt_17

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#2 konvikt_17
Member since 2008 • 22378 Posts

FAALCOOON PUUNCH!!!!!!!

then pocket the money

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Makhaidos

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#3 Makhaidos
Member since 2013 • 2162 Posts
*Punt* outta the way, world, Daddy needs a new pair of everything!
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konvikt_17

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#4 konvikt_17
Member since 2008 • 22378 Posts

but seriously, with 20 mil, i would give that child a good lifeand a nice stable home.

basically raised my sisters daughter, so i know i can do it.

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NaveedLife

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#5 NaveedLife
Member since 2010 • 17179 Posts

Honestly, if I knew it to be true on their side and that was all actually real, I would almost certainly raise the baby as my own.  20 mil is insane by the way, but hey if they want to give that to me to raise the kid (and live, since it costs money to raise a kid), then fine.

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TheGrat1

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#6 TheGrat1
Member since 2008 • 4330 Posts
I am neither fit nor willing to take care of a child at this point in my life. Taking that into account, I would question the decision making and mental condition of anyone who watched me and thought otherwise. I would take the 20 mil and leave the child with the proper authorities. I would, however watch over the kid and set 5 mil aside to give to him/her when they grow up.
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lostrib

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#7 lostrib
Member since 2009 • 49999 Posts

I don't think I could accept a child carrying such a poorly written letter

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Sweetbackhair

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#8 Sweetbackhair
Member since 2007 • 2959 Posts
"Honey!!! We're rich!!!"
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drufeous

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#10 drufeous
Member since 2004 • 2535 Posts

Name it Harry Potter and send it off to Hogwarts and then swim in the money.

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lonewolf604

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#11 lonewolf604
Member since 2007 • 8748 Posts
Pull out the 7 iron.
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lostrib

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#12 lostrib
Member since 2009 • 49999 Posts

Also, I think there would be some legal issues regarding just taking a baby you found on your doorstep along with 20 million dollars

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dagreenfish

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#13 dagreenfish
Member since 2010 • 1818 Posts

"dark and stormy night..." Is the "dark" really necessary? Isn't dark pretty characteristic of the vast majority of nights and being so, is a bit redundant as an adjective in this case?

I also usually notice that stormy nights tend to be a bit brighter than other nights due to the flashes of lightning.  Unless you're in Alaska or something during their 24hrs of daylight or whatever, but even then that's more of the exception than the norm.  So wouldn't it make more sense to describe the night as "bright" when applicable, instead as "dark" when unecessary?

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The_Lipscomb

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#14 The_Lipscomb
Member since 2013 • 2603 Posts

Get rid of the kid to authorites because I don't want one.. And give away the money.. Nobody is just going to give you that much money.. Feels like if I used it, it would be like accepting money from the mob, You're involved forever with something you really don't want to be in.

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cain006

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#15 cain006
Member since 2008 • 8625 Posts

Can't afford to take care of child but gives you 20 million?

Anyway I would call the police. You can't just randomly have a kid and expect nobody to say anything about it. When you bring him to school they would want proof that you're his guardian.

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flipin_jackass

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#16 flipin_jackass
Member since 2004 • 9772 Posts
Call the police and tell them some asshole left a baby and a couple of thousand dollars on my doorstep.
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hippiesanta

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#17 hippiesanta
Member since 2005 • 10301 Posts
you must steal the scenes from "meet the robinson"
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Diablo-B

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#18 Diablo-B
Member since 2009 • 4063 Posts
You only have two choices. Either turn the basket over to the police or use that money to lawyer up immediately cause the government won't just let you be the guardian of a random baby without a string of accusatory questions. Worst yet they will be even more suspicious of the money then the baby. But in the great US of A lawyers are your most powerful weapon.
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Gaming-Planet

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#19 Gaming-Planet
Member since 2008 • 21107 Posts

Take the 20 mil and drop that child off at a firestation.

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ghoklebutter

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#20 ghoklebutter
Member since 2007 • 19327 Posts
I'd take care of her for sure if I had 20 million dollars to raise her. That's a massive amount of money, and I've always wanted to raise a child.
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Chutebox

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#21 Chutebox
Member since 2007 • 51610 Posts

I would take the child even without the money.

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Dogswithguns

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#22 Dogswithguns
Member since 2007 • 11359 Posts
I would take very good care of the child without those money.. only with my g/f together helping too.
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Rhazakna

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#23 Rhazakna
Member since 2004 • 11022 Posts
If someone was actually watching me from afar, there's no way in hell they'd give me guardianship over their child. I'd be totally unfit even with 20 mill.
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Jimn_tonic

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#24 Jimn_tonic
Member since 2013 • 913 Posts

I'd take the baby, bring it back to its mother, and tell her to not bring the baby on my property again until tc brings logic into this thread.

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sailor232

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#25 sailor232
Member since 2003 • 6880 Posts

So much wrong with the original post.

But I would take the baby and the money, go through the courts and do everyhting proper, last thing I'd want to happen is the Parent coming back in 16 years demanding custody of the child.

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Capitan_Kid

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#26 Capitan_Kid
Member since 2009 • 6700 Posts
If someone was actually watching me from afar, there's no way in hell they'd give me guardianship over their child. I'd be totally unfit even with 20 mill.Rhazakna
They see the inner strength and good you have. Even if you dont!
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Shottayouth13-

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#27 Shottayouth13-
Member since 2009 • 7018 Posts
I would have taken in the child without the 20 mil, but hey, I don't mind incentives.
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Capitan_Kid

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#28 Capitan_Kid
Member since 2009 • 6700 Posts

I would take the child even without the money.

Chutebox
I would have taken in the child without the 20 mil, but hey, I don't mind incentives.Shottayouth13-
Interesting answers. You two think you got what it takes to raise a kid in your current situations?
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Shottayouth13-

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#29 Shottayouth13-
Member since 2009 • 7018 Posts
[QUOTE="Chutebox"]

I would take the child even without the money.

Capitan_Kid
I would have taken in the child without the 20 mil, but hey, I don't mind incentives.Shottayouth13-
Interesting answers. You two think you got what it takes to raise a kid in your current situations?

Nope. But it's better than leaving a child outside in the f*cking rain.
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Pffrbt

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#30 Pffrbt
Member since 2010 • 6612 Posts

Take the money and give the kid to someone else.

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Capitan_Kid

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#31 Capitan_Kid
Member since 2009 • 6700 Posts

So much wrong with the original post.

But I would take the baby and the money, go through the courts and do everyhting proper, last thing I'd want to happen is the Parent coming back in 16 years demanding custody of the child.

sailor232
Whats wrong?
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Nibroc420

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#32 Nibroc420
Member since 2007 • 13571 Posts
I'd take the 20 mil, and drop the child off at the nearest orphanage. Donate 1mil to the orphanage, and be done with it. It's not my child, why should I care?
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Capitan_Kid

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#33 Capitan_Kid
Member since 2009 • 6700 Posts
[QUOTE="Nibroc420"]I'd take the 20 mil, and drop the child off at the nearest orphanage. Donate 1mil to the orphanage, and be done with it. It's not my child, why should I care?

Where is your honor? Your sense of Justice? This parent entrusted everything to you and you have the gall to take the money and abandon the child at an orphanage, the exact opposite of the last request. Hell, the baby has already grown slightly attached to you. It is your child now
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nooblet69

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#34 nooblet69
Member since 2004 • 5162 Posts

Not worry about money for the rest of my life and take care of the kid like it was my own. 

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deeliman

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#35 deeliman
Member since 2013 • 4027 Posts

I don't even know if I can legally adopt a child as a 15 year old, but 20 mil is always nice.

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Nibroc420

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#36 Nibroc420
Member since 2007 • 13571 Posts
[QUOTE="Capitan_Kid"][QUOTE="Nibroc420"]I'd take the 20 mil, and drop the child off at the nearest orphanage. Donate 1mil to the orphanage, and be done with it. It's not my child, why should I care?

Where is your honor? Your sense of Justice? This parent entrusted everything to you and you have the gall to take the money and abandon the child at an orphanage, the exact opposite of the last request. Hell, the baby has already grown slightly attached to you. It is your child now

1.) I dont know who left me the child. 2.) I would do it soon enough that the child would not have grown attached. 3.) The a**hole left his kid on my steps, clearly he doesn't care what happens to it.
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Ace6301

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#37 Ace6301
Member since 2005 • 21389 Posts
"Do women find single fathers attractive?" Regardless I'd still raise it. Even if it was a horrible monster or something. Why not, right?
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xdude85

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#38 xdude85
Member since 2006 • 6559 Posts
I'd take the money since raising a kid is too expensive.
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the_bi99man

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#39 the_bi99man
Member since 2004 • 11465 Posts

I'd check to see if there was actually 20 mil in the basket. If so, I'd take the baby. If not, I'd punt the baby cuz IT'S A BOMB!!

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GazaAli

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#40 GazaAli
Member since 2007 • 25216 Posts
I'll take her in definitely.
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kraken2109

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#41 kraken2109
Member since 2009 • 13271 Posts

Be careful

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LJS9502_basic

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#42 LJS9502_basic  Online
Member since 2003 • 180240 Posts

Also, I think there would be some legal issues regarding just taking a baby you found on your doorstep along with 20 million dollars

lostrib
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TheFlush

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#43 TheFlush
Member since 2002 • 5965 Posts

Open a bank account for the baby, put all the money on it. Drop her off at an adoption agency.
I don't want a child. 

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br0kenrabbit

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#44 br0kenrabbit
Member since 2004 • 18126 Posts

"dark and stormy night..." Is the "dark" really necessary? Isn't dark pretty characteristic of the vast majority of nights and being so, is a bit redundant as an adjective in this case?

I also usually notice that stormy nights tend to be a bit brighter than other nights due to the flashes of lightning.  Unless you're in Alaska or something during their 24hrs of daylight or whatever, but even then that's more of the exception than the norm.  So wouldn't it make more sense to describe the night as "bright" when applicable, instead as "dark" when unecessary?

dagreenfish

Some nights are quite bright with the moon and all, and some of the storms we get around here are powerful but small and I have seen the moon during such a storm, so...

...but yeah it's bad form. Reminds me of the opening scene in "Throw Momma from the Train".

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bobaban

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#45 bobaban
Member since 2005 • 10560 Posts
Yeah with 20mil I'd take care of her
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whipassmt

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#46 whipassmt
Member since 2007 • 15375 Posts

Sure, raise the child and use the money on the child and on yourself (mostly for necessities and maybe a little "splurge" here and there, but you shouldn't really spent the money as if it was your own).

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jeremiah06

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#47 jeremiah06
Member since 2004 • 7217 Posts
Wrap the baby up in a dense material drive two cities over and toss it in the trash... they pocket the money...
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AmazonTreeBoa

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#48 AmazonTreeBoa
Member since 2011 • 16745 Posts
I would take the money, burn the note, then call the police and tell them I just found a baby on my steps. I raised my two kids, no way in hell am I raising anymore. But thanks for the money.
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CoolSkAGuy

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#49 CoolSkAGuy
Member since 2006 • 9665 Posts
Bet it all on black baby!!
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EagleEyedOne

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#50 EagleEyedOne
Member since 2013 • 1676 Posts

Keep the kid, invest 10M in various techonology companies, buy 5M in real estate, purchase 2M in T bills, buy a 500K house and keep the rest in cash.