Jokes make up jokes on my topic?

So......two guys walk into a bar.

LET THE HILARITY ENSUE!!!!

So......two guys walk into a bar.

LET THE HILARITY ENSUE!!!!

dark_mask_91

[QUOTE="dark_mask_91"]

So......two guys walk into a bar.

LET THE HILARITY ENSUE!!!!

Avistann

It's also more hot. :oops:

[QUOTE="Avistann"][QUOTE="dark_mask_91"]

So......two guys walk into a bar.

LET THE HILARITY ENSUE!!!!

Theokhoth

It's also more hot. :oops:

[QUOTE="Theokhoth"]

It is actually more funny when three enter :|Avistann

It's also more hot. :oops:

[QUOTE="marluxia101"]

[QUOTE="Theokhoth"]

It's also more hot. :oops:

D3nnyCrane

But why stop at foursomes?:o

[QUOTE="D3nnyCrane"][QUOTE="marluxia101"]nope its all bout foursomes;)

But why stop at foursomes?:o

fivesome?

So a doctor, a lawyer, and a taxicab driver walk into a bar and have a conversation over a few drinks

"So may anniversery is next week. I plan to buy my wife a diamond necklace and a Mercedes. I figured if she didnt like the ring, she'd like the Mercedes, then she'd know i always love her." The doctor said after finishing his scotch

Then the lawyer takes a sip of his martini and says " Well my anniversary was last month, and I bought my wife a pearl neclace and a trip to the bahamas. I figured if she didnt like the necklace, then she'd like the trip, then she'd know that i will always love her."

Then the taxicabber chuggs his beer and says "Well I bought my wife a pretzel and a **** I figured if she didn't like the pretzel, then she could go **** herself"

:lol:

wow, i made the first real joke. :P

[QUOTE="D3nnyCrane"][QUOTE="marluxia101"]nope its all bout foursomes;)

But why stop at foursomes?:o

[QUOTE="Theokhoth"]

[QUOTE="D3nnyCrane"] This thread is now about foursomes.D3nnyCrane

But why stop at foursomes?:o

That's why they invented school, and the Professor is in. 8)

[QUOTE="Theokhoth"]

[QUOTE="D3nnyCrane"] This thread is now about foursomes.D3nnyCrane

But why stop at foursomes?:o

[QUOTE="D3nnyCrane"][QUOTE="Theokhoth"]

But why stop at foursomes?:o

Theokhoth

That's why they invented school, and the Professor is in. 8)

[QUOTE="D3nnyCrane"][QUOTE="Theokhoth"]

But why stop at foursomes?:o

That's why they invented school, and the Professor is in. 8)

[QUOTE="Theokhoth"]

[QUOTE="D3nnyCrane"] I honestly can't comprehend the sexual competency to go beyond that.marluxia101

That's why they invented school, and the Professor is in. 8)

It's easy when you have the Magic Touch.

This thread is about orgies, right?megagene

[QUOTE="megagene"]This thread is about orgies, right?zakkro

[QUOTE="megagene"]This thread is about orgies, right?zakkro

Another, Another!!

So a man walks into a bar and notices the bartender crying.

"Say, why you crying?" the man asks

"My piano player just quit. He's been bringing in customers for years! If i don't find another form of entertainment, i'll have to close down!" he replied

The man then takes a guy out of his pocket, no taller than a ruler, then puts him at the piano then the guy begins to play

'Holy Cow, where'd you get that!?" the bartender asked

"That old lady is granting wishes" the man says

So the bartender quickly ran outside and a few seconds later, the whole bar was filled with ducks

"The bartender walks back inside the says " I think that grandma's hard of hearing, i wished for a million bucks, not a million ducks!"

then the man goes "Yeah. Do you really think I wished for a twelve inch pianist?"

I just found this joke :)

An elderly man and woman were sitting in a very nice restaurant celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. Halfway through the meal the woman stands up, leans over the table and slaps the hell out of her husband. The man sat stunned, after several moments he asked his wife, "What in the world was that about" his wife replied, "that was for 50 years of bad sex". After several moments of silence the elderly man stands up, leans over the table and slaps the hell out of his wife almost knocking her from her chair. "What in the world was that for" asked the elderly woman.....

"Knowing the difference" he replied

One day at school, a teacher was getting annoyed at a couple of students, since they were both late. finally One of the boys finally walked into class, and the teacher asks:

"where were you!?"

"on top of Blueberry Hill" says the boy

a while later, another boy walks into class, and again, the teacher asks:

"Okay, now where were you!?"

"on top of Blueberry Hill" says the boy

Later on in class, a girls walks into class; she is a new student, the teacher proceeds to say:

"you must be a new student tp the classtoom! Would please tell the class you name?"

"okay" said the girl "my name is Blueberry Hill."

I just found this joke :)

An elderly man and woman were sitting in a very nice restaurant celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. Halfway through the meal the woman stands up, leans over the table and slaps the hell out of her husband. The man sat stunned, after several moments he asked his wife, "What in the world was that about" his wife replied, "that was for 50 years of bad sex". After several moments of silence the elderly man stands up, leans over the table and slaps the hell out of his wife almost knocking her from her chair. "What in the world was that for" asked the elderly woman.....

"Knowing the difference" he replied

DarknessLion

[QUOTE="DarknessLion"]

I just found this joke :)

An elderly man and woman were sitting in a very nice restaurant celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. Halfway through the meal the woman stands up, leans over the table and slaps the hell out of her husband. The man sat stunned, after several moments he asked his wife, "What in the world was that about" his wife replied, "that was for 50 years of bad sex". After several moments of silence the elderly man stands up, leans over the table and slaps the hell out of his wife almost knocking her from her chair. "What in the world was that for" asked the elderly woman.....

"Knowing the difference" he replied

turbotoby95

This couple in their 80's were in a diner almost done with their dinner and were talking.

A cop was sitting right behind them and overheard their conversion.

"Henry, do you remember 60 years ago eating at this very diner and afterwords we went out back and make love leaning up against the fence?"

"Yes dear I do"

"Let's do it again for fun"

"Okay honey" Henry agrees.

The cop hearing this is amused but thinks it is great a old couple are still in love and having sex at their age. He decides to follow them and make sure they are not disturbed.

Out back the old couple take off their clothes and lean up against the fence to make love.
They begin, bucking and thrusting and groaning and moaning like crazy.

The cop watching can't believe his eyes, this old couple is making love like a pair of teenagers.
This goes on for about 20 mintutes till the old couple finish and collapse to the ground.

The cop waits till they are dressed and goes up to them. "I hate to embarress you like this, but I overheard you talking in the diner and followed you out here, just to make sure you weren't disturbed."

But I have to know your secreat, How do you make love like a pair of teenagers at your age?

The Old man looks at the cop and says,

"60 years ago that fence wasn't electrified"

I'm on fire today!

So the Roger family is expecting a new baby in the family, and their desire to know the gender of the baby is killing them

Then doctor then walks out with the baby in his hands. "It's a boy!" the doctor said

"Awww, how cute!" Aunt Roger said

"It's asleep!" Uncle Roger said

Then the doctor slammed the baby against the wall with all his might!

"OHH MY GOD! WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT!? :o " They both said

The doctor says"AAAHHAAHHA! You thought the baby was alive"

Ok ok i got one...

Ok it was the mailman last day in the town before he retired. So some of the people in the neighborhood wanted to do something nice for him. He went to the first door to deliver the mails... the couple gave him a nice good bye... he went to the second house.. and they gave him $50.00, which made him very happy.... the third house gave him a brand new set of fishing supplies and he couldn't wait to go to fishing the very next day .. finally he went to the fourth house... and a sexy beautiful woman with see through pink blouse opened the door and grab him... took him inside the house to her bedroom... and gave him the best night ever. In the morning they were both having breakfast and drinking coffee... and the mailman saw the dollar under his mug... and he like what this for? And she replies, "weil before my husband left for his business trip... and i told him what should we do nice for the mailman... and my husband said.... ah f*** him, give him a dollar. However, the coffee was my idea." :lol: :lol:

I'm on fire today!

So the Roger family is expecting a new baby in the family, and their desire to know the gender of the baby is killing them

Then doctor then walks out with the baby in his hands. "It's a boy!" the doctor said

"Awww, how cute!" Aunt Roger said

"It's asleep!" Uncle Roger said

Then the doctor slammed the baby against the wall with all his might!

"OHH MY GOD! WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT!? :o " They both said

The doctor says"AAAHHAAHHA! You thought the baby was alive"

turbotoby95

Grandma Goes To Court

Defense Attorney: What is your age?

Little Old Woman: I am 86 years old.

Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you?

Little Old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney: Did you know him?

Little Old Woman: No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down beside you?

Little Old Woman: He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?

Little Old Woman: No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney: What happened next?

Little Old Woman: He began to rub my breasts.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?
Little Old Woman: No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years.

Defense! Attorney: What happened next?

Little Old Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just spread my old legs and said to him, "Take me, young man, Take me!"

Defense Attorney: Did he take you?

Little Old Woman: Hell, no. That's when he yelled, "April Fool!"....And that's when I shot the son of a *****!

Ok ok i got one...

Ok it was the mailman last day in the town before he retired. So some of the people in the neighborhood wanted to do something nice for him. He went to the first door to deliver the mails... the couple gave him a nice good bye... he went to the second house.. and they gave him $50.00, which made him very happy.... the third house gave him a brand new set of fishing supplies and he couldn't wait to go to fishing the very next day .. finally he went to the fourth house... and a sexy beautiful woman with see through pink blouse opened the door and grab him... took him inside the house to her bedroom... and gave him the best night ever. In the morning they were both having breakfast and drinking coffee... and the mailman saw the dollar under his mug... and he like what this for? And she replies, "weil before my husband left for his business trip... and i told him what should we do nice for the mailman... and my husband said.... ah f*** him, give him a dollar. However, the coffee was my idea." :lol: :lol:

theres only two of you guys left posting:D

[QUOTE="turbotoby95"]

I'm on fire today!

So the Roger family is expecting a new baby in the family, and their desire to know the gender of the baby is killing them

Then doctor then walks out with the baby in his hands. "It's a boy!" the doctor said

"Awww, how cute!" Aunt Roger said

"It's asleep!" Uncle Roger said

Then the doctor slammed the baby against the wall with all his might!

"OHH MY GOD! WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT!? :o " They both said

The doctor says"AAAHHAAHHA! You thought the baby was alive"

DarknessLion

Grandma Goes To Court

Defense Attorney: What is your age?

Little Old Woman: I am 86 years old.

Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you?

Little Old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney: Did you know him?

Little Old Woman: No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down beside you?

Little Old Woman: He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?

Little Old Woman: No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney: What happened next?

Little Old Woman: He began to rub my breasts.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?
Little Old Woman: No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years.

Defense! Attorney: What happened next?

Little Old Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just spread my old legs and said to him, "Take me, young man, Take me!"

Defense Attorney: Did he take you?

Little Old Woman: Hell, no. That's when he yelled, "April Fool!"....And that's when I shot the son of a *****!

So a Mom is worried about her son Jimmy. He's doing horrible in math, so she sends him to a private school.

He then comes home with all F's in mathon his report card

So the mom the takes him to a boarding school.

Jimmy comes home with all F's again in match

So the Mom then sends him to a Catholic school.

Jimmy all of a sudden comes home with all A's in math

"Wow Jimmy, what made your finally decide to buckle down and get good grades?" Mom asks

"Well Mom," Jimmy begins "When I say that guy on the plus sign, I knew they were being serious!"

This is in no way to offend Catholics, I'm Cathoilc to, so please don't take anything the wrong way :?

[QUOTE="zakkro"][QUOTE="megagene"]This thread is about orgies, right?Avistann

The orgie-police.

[QUOTE="DarknessLion"]

[QUOTE="turbotoby95"]

I'm on fire today!

So the Roger family is expecting a new baby in the family, and their desire to know the gender of the baby is killing them

Then doctor then walks out with the baby in his hands. "It's a boy!" the doctor said

"Awww, how cute!" Aunt Roger said

"It's asleep!" Uncle Roger said

Then the doctor slammed the baby against the wall with all his might!

"OHH MY GOD! WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT!? :o " They both said

The doctor says"AAAHHAAHHA! You thought the baby was alive"

turbotoby95

Grandma Goes To Court

Defense Attorney: What is your age?

Little Old Woman: I am 86 years old.

Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you?

Little Old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney: Did you know him?

Little Old Woman: No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down beside you?

Little Old Woman: He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?

Little Old Woman: No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney: What happened next?

Little Old Woman: He began to rub my breasts.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?
Little Old Woman: No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years.

Defense! Attorney: What happened next?

Little Old Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just spread my old legs and said to him, "Take me, young man, Take me!"

Defense Attorney: Did he take you?

Little Old Woman: Hell, no. That's when he yelled, "April Fool!"....And that's when I shot the son of a *****!

So a Mom is worried about her son Jimmy. He's doing horrible in math, so she sends him to a private school.

He then comes home with all F's in mathon his report card

So the mom the takes him to a boarding school.

Jimmy comes home with all F's again in match

So the Mom then sends him to a Catholic school.

Jimmy all of a sudden comes home with all A's in math

"Wow Jimmy, what made your finally decide to buckle down and get good grades?" Mom asks

"Well Mom," Jimmy begins "When I say that guy on the plus sign, I knew they were being serious!"

This is in no way to offend Catholics, I'm Cathoilc to, so please don't take anything the wrong way :?

Two old Jewish men, Sid and Al, are sitting in a Mexican restaurant in Los Angeles one day. Sid asks Al, "Do you know of any people of our faith born and raised in Mexico ?'

Al replies, "I don't know, let's ask our waiter.'

When the waiter arrives, Al asks, "Are there any Mexican Jews?'

The waiter says, "I don't know senor, I ask the cooks.

"He returns from the kitchen after a few minutes and says, "No senor,the cook say no Mexican Jews.'

Al isn't satisfied and asks, "Are you absolutely sure?'

The waiter, realizing he is dealing with "Gringos" replies, "I check once again, senor!'and goes back into the kitchen.


While the waiter is away, Sid says, "I find it hard to believe that there are no Jews in Mexico. Our people are scattered everywhere.'

The waiter returns and says, "Senor, the head cook Tom say there is no Mexican Jews.'

"Are you certain?" Al asks again.

"I just can't believe there are no Mexican Jews!'

"SENOR, I ask EVERYONE," replies the exasperated waiter, "All we have is Orange Jews, Grape Jews, Prune Jews, and Tomato Jews

i got one when i was walking behind 2 elder couple.....

what is the fastest turtle in the world called? ninja turtle..........

and if someone got it right, you can change the answer to mutant ninja turtles.....

this is 3 posts in a row.