Kissing on first date?

This topic is locked from further discussion.

Avatar image for Bumzur
Bumzur

560

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#1 Bumzur
Member since 2009 • 560 Posts

I recently just met this girl in one of my classes (even though we've had class all year, we haven't talked until we got sat next to eachother and she eventually asked for my number), and I asked her out to the movies. She then suggested we should also do dinner before hand. So we went out to a pizza place, saw "Up" in 3d, and then drove around Seattle, eventually heading out towards the beach. Then we drove back up outside my house, parked, and talked for what seemed to be an hour or two. Then her parents called saying that it's about time she should be going home (at 1:20 AM) and then came the big moment. I didn't go for it. I think she might have been expecting it (or maybe it was because I was expecting to do it) but there was that awkward silence after I said "Well, I guess you better get going". We stared at eachother for a few seconds - and then I said "well, I guess I should get going to bed", said I'd call her tomorrow, and she left (she was the driver). Is it bad if I don't go for the kiss on the first date? At the time, I was afraid it'd be innapropriate considering I just met her - and that breaking that whole "touch barrier" thing was enough. I haven't regretted not doing something this much for awhile.

Do you normally go for the kiss on the first date? Or did I do the right thing? This is a girl that I could actually see myself with for years.

Avatar image for ice_radon
ice_radon

70464

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 11

User Lists: 0

#2 ice_radon
Member since 2002 • 70464 Posts
No, not really. It just depends on how the night goes overall. I mean in your case it sounds like a kiss could have been in order. Ummm, there is really nothing wrong with not kissing on the first date. I guess you could try next time you go out with her, kiss her in the cheek as the two of you greet. It will make the goodnight kiss a lot more expected or less awkward if you know what I mean in that the territory has already been tread and if receptive, you will know earlier in the night.
Avatar image for Buck_Hotep
Buck_Hotep

10589

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 9

User Lists: 0

#3 Buck_Hotep
Member since 2003 • 10589 Posts

If there's definite chemistry and spark all throughout the date plus her giving you signs of definite interests then why not. You got a 50/50 chance she'll reciprocate or slap you.

Avatar image for Papitar
Papitar

2377

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 3

User Lists: 0

#4 Papitar
Member since 2008 • 2377 Posts

I kiss if it feels right. I think it's stupid to just not kiss because "you shouldn't".

Avatar image for Bumzur
Bumzur

560

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#5 Bumzur
Member since 2009 • 560 Posts

I kiss if it feels right. I think it's stupid to just not kiss because "you shouldn't".

Papitar
I felt that way, because I don't know. It never really hit me that it was a date. But a dinner and a movie is a date. I regret it so much because I don't want her to get the impression that i want to be just friends.
Avatar image for DJSAV_101
DJSAV_101

3701

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#6 DJSAV_101
Member since 2008 • 3701 Posts

Its happened to me before and with good results too. ;)

Don't see anything wrong with it.

Avatar image for Bumzur
Bumzur

560

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#9 Bumzur
Member since 2009 • 560 Posts

[QUOTE="Bumzur"][QUOTE="Papitar"]

I kiss if it feels right. I think it's stupid to just not kiss because "you shouldn't".

_en1gma_

I felt that way, because I don't know. It never really hit me that it was a date. But a dinner and a movie is a date. I regret it so much because I don't want her to get the impression that i want to be just friends.

Then give her the impression that you want to be more than friends. ;) ask her on another date (in a few days) make it romantic. Make her feel special. It's all up to you from then on.

We already brought up a second date before the night even ended. I'm going for it then 100%. I hope I'm not denied. Partially I didn't want to do it because honestly, I was afraid of my breath being bad. And I know it was too. I'll carry mints with me next time.

EDIT: The regret is hitting pretty hard. I haven't had a night this good in so long - and I had the chance to make it perfect. I'm going to sleep on it.

Avatar image for Papitar
Papitar

2377

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 3

User Lists: 0

#10 Papitar
Member since 2008 • 2377 Posts

[QUOTE="_en1gma_"]

[QUOTE="Bumzur"] I felt that way, because I don't know. It never really hit me that it was a date. But a dinner and a movie is a date. I regret it so much because I don't want her to get the impression that i want to be just friends. Bumzur

Then give her the impression that you want to be more than friends. ;) ask her on another date (in a few days) make it romantic. Make her feel special. It's all up to you from then on.

We already brought up a second date before the night even ended. I'm going for it then 100%. I hope I'm not denied. Partially I didn't want to do it because honestly, I was afraid of my breath being bad. And I know it was too. I'll carry mints with me next time.

EDIT: The regret is hitting pretty hard. I haven't had a night this good in so long - and I had the chance to make it perfect. I'm going to sleep on it.

Analyze the **** out of her before you kiss. Get close to her. Look at pupils, eye movement lips aso. You'll know if she wants to be kissed, heh, she might even kiss you if you play your cards right. Anyway, gl and enjoy the date.

Avatar image for Bumzur
Bumzur

560

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#12 Bumzur
Member since 2009 • 560 Posts

[QUOTE="Bumzur"]

[QUOTE="_en1gma_"]

Then give her the impression that you want to be more than friends. ;) ask her on another date (in a few days) make it romantic. Make her feel special. It's all up to you from then on.

Papitar

We already brought up a second date before the night even ended. I'm going for it then 100%. I hope I'm not denied. Partially I didn't want to do it because honestly, I was afraid of my breath being bad. And I know it was too. I'll carry mints with me next time.

EDIT: The regret is hitting pretty hard. I haven't had a night this good in so long - and I had the chance to make it perfect. I'm going to sleep on it.

Analyze the **** out of her before you kiss. Get close to her. Look at pupils, eye movement lips aso. You'll know if she wants to be kissed, heh, she might even kiss you if you play your cards right. Anyway, gl and enjoy the date.

Alright, one last post before I go to bed. At the time, I couldn't read her - if she was expecting something. We endlessly drove around the streets, her neighborhood, etc. both of us listening to her music (which I enjoyed). She at one point asked if I was tired and I replied "A little, but I don't want to go home." Trying to insinuate that I didn't want the night to end, and she agreed - which is probably why the night was so dragged out. There was also a few times where I had my hands out the window and I'd comment "my hand is cold" and she'd grab it and warm it up with her own - so she was getting touchy with me. I don't know, it feels so obvious that I should've done it. Yet, in the moment, I didn't know what to do. I'm too much of a self-doubter. It's obvious she's attempting to be more than friends with me and by custom the guy should make the moves - so in a way it's like I'm shutting her out. I feel terrible now. I feel like I missed my chance. I don't know why. I honestly kept thinking to myself "...could she be the one?". I've been with a little more than a handful of girls, and none of them made me feel so connected and whole.

Avatar image for tabishsultan
tabishsultan

156

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 1

User Lists: 0

#14 tabishsultan
Member since 2009 • 156 Posts
I think she was expecting a kiss.Whether you made the right decision by not kissing her I don't know. But if she likes you there's nothing to worry about.
Avatar image for GodLikeLee
GodLikeLee

474

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 4

User Lists: 0

#15 GodLikeLee
Member since 2004 • 474 Posts

There is so much pressure these days about kissing and having sex these days . I don't believe their should be a time table when either of these should happen. When the two people involved are ready they both will know.

Avatar image for mindstorm
mindstorm

15255

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#16 mindstorm
Member since 2003 • 15255 Posts
I highly recommend not rushing relationships. Make sure the attraction to the personality of the individual is what you are seeking, not the physical. That is, if you want the relationship to last and not become a burden quickly.
Avatar image for noswear
noswear

3263

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#17 noswear
Member since 2008 • 3263 Posts
I do most of the time.
Avatar image for RiseAgainst12
RiseAgainst12

6767

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 0

#18 RiseAgainst12
Member since 2007 • 6767 Posts

You should have jacked her car, GTA style.

Avatar image for AzzoLovesBirdy
AzzoLovesBirdy

760

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 1

User Lists: 0

#19 AzzoLovesBirdy
Member since 2006 • 760 Posts

I like to restrain myself, even if the feeling is of a ripe nature untill the next time we meet. It just adds to the whole expecience.

I see the first kiss as like fruit; wait till it's ripe enough, and gamble whether the fruit is going to last untill the next day. If you're right then you have that extra bit of tenderness in that fruit and overall a better and tastier experiance, if you're wrong then it rots and the chance is lost.

But it's very rarely the latter will happen.

Avatar image for SSBFan12
SSBFan12

11981

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#20 SSBFan12
Member since 2008 • 11981 Posts

I think you should have kissed her.

Avatar image for Bumzur
Bumzur

560

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#21 Bumzur
Member since 2009 • 560 Posts
I'd rather not make a new thread so I'll bump this one. The next night she starts texting me and says she'd love to see Star Trek next weekend. Needless to say I was excited. I didn't want to really crowd her though so I'd text her every once in awhile. Before she responded to every text, whereas lately she wouldn't respond to any of them. She'd smile at me in class and she'd bump into me in the halls so the signals she were sending were pretty mixed. I got tired of trying to guess this situation so I just flat out asked her if she was still down for this weekend and she responds "Ohh. Umm. I'm really busy all weekend. Sorry!!" I reply 'It's all good". "It's a very busy time. :/" I reply "Yea. It's a busy time of the year, don't worry about it." It actually is a busy time of the year (this weekend is the very last weekend before finals). But her delivery wasn't very convincing. The next day I ask her how her LA Project is coming along through text (we both have LA together) and she replies "Oh I'll finish. I just can't stay focused easily. So I can't really text now.". Everything seems like it's pointing out that she lost interest. But what doesn't make sense about this is that she came to me. She asked me for my number, started talking to me, texted me, suggested the first date, etc. She seemed happy with the first date or else she wouldn't have brought up next week. Did she lose interest or is she just genuinely THAT busy? Would it be bad if I asked her friend what went wrong? Or should I just wait until summer (one week from now) and see what happens then?
Avatar image for R3DSM0KE
R3DSM0KE

62

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#22 R3DSM0KE
Member since 2009 • 62 Posts

I'm not sure but maybe she was disappointed you didn't make the move? When a girl tells me she's busy it means she's not interested in me. Your case is different though since you already had a date.

Avatar image for Bumzur
Bumzur

560

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#23 Bumzur
Member since 2009 • 560 Posts

I'm not sure but maybe she was disappointed you didn't make the move? When a girl tells me she's busy it means she's not interested in me. Your case is different though since you already had a date.

R3DSM0KE
Yea, but that's ridiculous though. To call things off over something like that? She has more class than most girls I've been with - I never figured that it'd be that big of a deal.
Avatar image for darkmagician06
darkmagician06

6060

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#24 darkmagician06
Member since 2003 • 6060 Posts
i didnt read any of the other posts but don't wait until the last moment for that "good night kiss". all that does is make BOTH of you nervous and the kiss will feel forced and awkward. a kiss should be casual and smooth. try to kiss way before the night is over just watch for signs that she wants it like her looking at your lips, etc and either come up with a game that leads to kissing or just ask her if she wants to kiss you (not the other way around). if she says yes or maybe go for it. if she says no then you did something wrong :P ps try to touch her a lot in a playful way before kissing so she gets comfortable with you touching her.
Avatar image for -kaz3-
-kaz3-

7372

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#25 -kaz3-
Member since 2006 • 7372 Posts
[QUOTE="Papitar"]

I kiss if it feels right. I think it's stupid to just not kiss because "you shouldn't".

Bumzur
I felt that way, because I don't know. It never really hit me that it was a date. But a dinner and a movie is a date. I regret it so much because I don't want her to get the impression that i want to be just friends.

Considering the stuff you guys did, I'm fairly sure that that can be considered a date. Well it all really depends on how she acts around you. If she just jokes around and teases you and stuff like that, then that could be somehow interpreted as wanting to be friends only. Oh and a kiss did seem like a definite possibility. Kiss her if you want to, don't force yourself or her for it though... I actually know of someone who did that. The results weren't pretty.:P
Avatar image for darksword1123
darksword1123

30121

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#26 darksword1123
Member since 2004 • 30121 Posts
I do most of the time.
Avatar image for D3nnyCrane
D3nnyCrane

12058

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 1

User Lists: 0

#27 D3nnyCrane
Member since 2007 • 12058 Posts
Not for me. Nothing worth having ever came that easy.
Avatar image for BayAreaX
BayAreaX

1809

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 0

User Lists: 0

#28 BayAreaX
Member since 2009 • 1809 Posts
you should get the kiss over with earlier in the date. like halfway. when going to car open the door and just do it. preferably before the movie
Avatar image for DavidDisorder
DavidDisorder

148

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 2

User Lists: 0

#29 DavidDisorder
Member since 2009 • 148 Posts

Hey man if the timing is right, blow them skirts off!

Avatar image for worthyofnote
worthyofnote

21896

Forum Posts

0

Wiki Points

0

Followers

Reviews: 5

User Lists: 0

#30 worthyofnote
Member since 2007 • 21896 Posts

If there's definite chemistry and spark all throughout the date plus her giving you signs of definite interests then why not. You got a 50/50 chance she'll reciprocate or slap you.

Buck_Hotep
This. I've had dates where I've kissed, and dates where we've waited. Sometimes it's worth the wait.