Loving someone who doesn't love you back

Why would you want to love someone who don't loves you back? It's beyond me.jointed

That really cannot be called "love." You may feel a strong attraction to another person and even care about them but if they "hardly give you the time of day," chances are what you are feeling is more akin to an attachment than it is deep-rooted affection.

The best way to get over rejection is to avoid dwelling on "what could have been."
foxhound_fox

It's still love. Why does love have to be mutual? You can still love someone that doesn't love you back.

[QUOTE="foxhound_fox"]That really cannot be called "love." You may feel a strong attraction to another person and even care about them but if they "hardly give you the time of day," chances are what you are feeling is more akin to an attachment than it is deep-rooted affection.

The best way to get over rejection is to avoid dwelling on "what could have been."
Yodas_Boy

It's still love. Why does love have to be mutual? You can still love someone that doesn't love you back.

No its not love, its obsessive.

It's still love. Why does love have to be mutual? You can still love someone that doesn't love you back.

Yodas_Boy

It's still love. Why does love have to be mutual? You can still love someone that doesn't love you back.Yodas_Boy

[QUOTE="Yodas_Boy"]It's still love. Why does love have to be mutual? You can still love someone that doesn't love you back.foxhound_fox

Of course I do. We've been friends for the last three years.

Of course I do. We've been friends for the last three years.Yodas_Boy

[QUOTE="Yodas_Boy"]Of course I do. We've been friends for the last three years.foxhound_fox

(read my previous clarification)

I suppose I should clarify. By "wouldn't give me the time of day," I don't mean that she doesn't care about me at all, we are still friends. What I meant by that is that relationship-wise she doesn't feel even remotely the same as I do.Yodas_Boy

I suppose I should clarify. By "wouldn't give me the time of day," I don't mean that she doesn't care about me at all, we are still friends. What I meant by that is that relationship-wise she doesn't feel even remotely the same as I do.Yodas_Boy

Yes it is,this person doesn't love you back get over it,she doesn't deserve your love,she doesn't deserve your tears..is not like you had a relationship with her what so ever..try to find someone that wants you in the same way u do.McdonaIdsGuy

thats called obsession.

stop loving, youre killling yourself, move on buddy.

attachment than it is deep-rooted affection.foxhound_fox

Why would you want to love someone who don't loves you back? It's beyond me.jointed

[QUOTE="Yodas_Boy"]It's still love. Why does love have to be mutual? You can still love someone that doesn't love you back.foxhound_fox

Now you're arguing based on personal definitions of "love" You might as well have a religious debate, because neither of you is going to win this one. WHAT IS LOVE? BABY DON'T HURT ME, DON'T HURT ME, NO MOREE!!

[QUOTE="McdonaIdsGuy"]Yes it is,this person doesn't love you back get over it,she doesn't deserve your love,she doesn't deserve your tears..is not like you had a relationship with her what so ever..try to find someone that wants you in the same way u do.Yodas_Boy

[QUOTE="jointed"]Why would you want to love someone who don't loves you back? It's beyond me.Bourbons3

How do people get through it? When you want to be with someone that hardly gives you the time of day... it just hurts so bad. I've been trying for 3 years to get over this one rejection, and the pain just keeps coming back.Yodas_Boy

In my opinion the best way to get over unrequited love is to get out and get to know other people. In time you will forget and fall in love with someone else who also loves you back. There is a lot of fish in the sea.

Also if you love a woman based on her face alone, then it's probably hallucinatory. You'd be surprised to find out that her personality is not what you imagined it to be, that it wasn't a good fit and that there is someone else more suitable for you.

[QUOTE="Yodas_Boy"]

[QUOTE="foxhound_fox"]That really cannot be called "love." You may feel a strong attraction to another person and even care about them but if they "hardly give you the time of day," chances are what you are feeling is more akin to an attachment than it is deep-rooted affection.

The best way to get over rejection is to avoid dwelling on "what could have been."
pinneyapple

It's still love. Why does love have to be mutual? You can still love someone that doesn't love you back.

No its not love, its obsessive.

love can be obsessive

I believe every one has gone through a crush which is what this seems like on the surface or with what little information has been provided. You have probably day dreamed or fantisized about what a relationship with this person who you are already friends with and attracted to would be like. The biggest problem with that is that the relationship you dream about doesn't exist at this point. That doesn't mean that it will never happen but in some cases or most cases it never does. You have to take a realistic and hard look at what you actually have with this person and also look at what about this person makes her attractive to you. Sometimes you find that alot of what you think you see behind "rose glasses" is a big part of the fantacy.

The biggest point I'm trying to make is that if you have approached this person with your feelings and they were not returned then you need to move on. In order to move on you have to stop idolizing her. To do that you need to be looking at the situation rationally. "I know it's difficult when you want something to happen this much" but how long you suffer through these feelings is completely up to you. The down side of not moving on and continuing to be rejected will be that you ruin the friendship which is not a good thing. But sometimes you can't be friends with a person you feel so strongly about.

In any event good luck.

[QUOTE="Yodas_Boy"]It's still love. Why does love have to be mutual? You can still love someone that doesn't love you back.foxhound_fox

Exactly the advice I was going to give. A person who doesn't give you the time of day is obviously someone you have no understanding of, and therefore, cannot love.

I suppose I should clarify. By "wouldn't give me the time of day," I don't mean that she doesn't care about me at all, we are still friends. What I meant by that is that relationship-wise she doesn't feel even remotely the same as I do.Yodas_Boy

I have been in a very similar situation. Sadly nothing came of it and now she's married. It's hard, but you'll probably find someone eventually who does have the same feelings that you do and she'll be a thing of the past. trodeback

I think that most cases when one side loves but the other side is unattainable or doesn't love back (for whatever reason) are based on shallow or superficial things like physical appearance and physical attraction alone while ignoring other things which are truly more important like the personality of the woman, her behavior, her culture and religion, her tradition, her world views and other things which are not based on physical beauty. And of course if her personality, behavior, religion and world views match yours then there is no reason in the world why this wouldn't work.

[QUOTE="trodeback"] I have been in a very similar situation. Sadly nothing came of it and now she's married. It's hard, but you'll probably find someone eventually who does have the same feelings that you do and she'll be a thing of the past. X4D

I think that most cases when one side loves but the other side is unattainable or doesn't love back (for whatever reason) are based on shallow or superficial things like physical appearance and physical attraction alone while ignoring other things which are truly more important like the personality of the woman, her behavior, her culture and religion, her tradition, her world views and other things which are not based on physical beauty. And of course if her personality, behavior, religion and world views match yours then there is no reason in the world why this wouldn't work.

[QUOTE="foxhound_fox"]attachment than it is deep-rooted affection.fatzebra

Let me ask my lady and I'll get back to you.

I've been trying for 3 years to get over this one rejection, and the pain just keeps coming back.Yodas_Boy

Well, that definitely makes this one of the creepiest girl advice threads I've seen. 3 years and you're still moping? 3 years?!? That's just sick.

Haha: I'm happy my obsession has only been for around two months or so...and I feel it's leaving me. The problem is: my morale has been left depleted, and so I'm attempting to build myself back into the fellow I was previously.

But it really is a dismal prospect; have you read the novel Of Human Bondage? It's disturbingly like that. I may have failed some papers because of this malicious strumpet.