Mods please delete

Mods please delete.

It depends. If she looks at the pics and says "oh those were some good times..." then yes it' s a problem and an insult to you. If she is one of those people that just like taking pictures (i' m not one of them-not like you care but just sayin'...) then it' s not that big of a problem. After all every person you have dated in the past has become a part of your life and pretty much contributed to making you what you are today.

the pics aren't an issue here,the problem is it's a sign that she still has feelings for them or at least enjoys reviewing the past.she should be given some credits for being honest though.

Wwhile youre married? Absolutely not!

That's a tough one...If they are pictures that she feels are inappropriate for you to look at then she should probably delete those. It's not good for your relationship going forward if she is basically hiding pictures from you. It will make it difficult to trust her. She should be able to share her photos with you without hiding things from you. I'm sure she wouldn't appreciate if things were the other way around and you were hiding photos from her. I would probably let her know that if there are pictures she's not comfortable with you looking at then she shouldn't keep them and they should probably go.

If it's just innocent sentimental stuff that she would like to keep to remember her past then she can put them on a disk and remove them from her computer depending on how serious you are. If you get engaged and married and it still bothers you I don't think you'd be wrong to ask her to get rid of them entirely but if it's just harmless stuff I'd let it be.

On a side note depending how long you've been together this may not be a good sign. If she gets pissed off if and when you ask her to do the things I mentioned I would take a long, deep look at where your at with her. She should care more about your feelings than hanging onto the past.

Good luck with that.

I don't see it as a good sign. One important part of being in relationships is being able to look forward without looking back. You should tell her to take them off. If she isn't willing to do that for you, then she probably is not the right woman for you. After all, you deleted your pics for good reason. Make her see that.

[QUOTE="johnd13"]

It depends. If she looks at the pics and says "oh those were some good times..." then yes it' s a problem and an insult to you.

racer8dan

It' s pretty obvious IMO. She would be thinking how great her time with her old boyfriends were thus doubting her current relationship and this could have serious consequences on the way she "sees" you. I would feel like "hey you have me now and you reminisce the time spent with them?". But it' s just my opinion and maybe it won' t affect your relationship at all.

[QUOTE="johnd13"]

[QUOTE="racer8dan"]I agree, though can I ask you why you think that's a problem? (just want your opinion)

racer8dan

It' s pretty obvious IMO. She would be thinking how great her time with her old boyfriends were thus doubting her current relationship and this could have serious consequences on the way she "sees" you. I would feel like "hey you have me now and you reminisce the time spent with them?". But it' s just my opinion and maybe it won' t affect your relationship at all.

You' re welcome my friend and good luck :)

Never discuss, share pics, talk about exes with your current g.f.

[QUOTE="junglist101"]

That's a tough one...If they are pictures that she feels are inappropriate for you to look at then she should probably delete those. It's not good for your relationship going forward if she is basically hiding pictures from you. It will make it difficult to trust her. She should be able to share her photos with you without hiding things from you. I'm sure she wouldn't appreciate if things were the other way around and you were hiding photos from her. I would probably let her know that if there are pictures she's not comfortable with you looking at then she shouldn't keep them and they should probably go.

If it's just innocent sentimental stuff that she would like to keep to remember her past then she can put them on a disk and remove them from her computer depending on how serious you are. If you get engaged and married and it still bothers you I don't think you'd be wrong to ask her to get rid of them entirely but if it's just harmless stuff I'd let it be.

On a side note depending how long you've been together this may not be a good sign. If she gets pissed off if and when you ask her to do the things I mentioned I would take a long, deep look at where your at with her. She should care more about your feelings than hanging onto the past.

Good luck with that.

racer8dan

[QUOTE="RadecSupreme"]

I don't see it as a good sign. One important part of being in relationships is being able to look forward without looking back. You should tell her to take them off. If she isn't willing to do that for you, then she probably is not the right woman for you. After all, you deleted your pics for good reason. Make her see that.

racer8dan

Just be careful how you handle this if you tell her to delete them. You don' t want to sound like you' re giving her an order right? Just explain how you feel.

If she's "enjoying" herself looking at old pictures of exes, then you have a problem.

Dude, they're just pictures. As long as they don't have your ex with half his/her clothes off, I don't see a problem with that.

Don't be so insecure, it will not look good to your significant other. Pics are memories, and you can't wash those away. Just because a picture is destroyed doesn't remove the history, memories, and all of that, so you'll ALWAYS be up against something if you take my drift. The key is to be mature and not worry unless given LEGITIMATE cause to do so.

It's one thing to hold memories, and quite another to ACT on those memories. If you are constantly COMPARED to them, if this person talks about them, or worse visits them without your knowing, THEN you have reason to be insulted or worried.

I am friends with most of my past relationships. The one thing I stipulate there is that we not discuss our current lovers, and that there will be absolutley NO covert activities on ANY level.

Be open and (MOST importantly) honest about your feelings and dealings, and you will be in good shape.

Good luck to you.

I wouldn't delete nor would I expect someone to delete pictures of former exes until marriage was imminent rather than just discussed.

Even then, I'm the type that's not really interested in erasing portions of my life just because I found the girl of my dreams. I would likely try to keep as many group pictures as possible and get rid of the more personal ones.

I wouldn't delete nor would I expect someone to delete pictures of former exes until marriage was imminent rather than just discussed.

Even then, I'm the type that's not really interested in erasing portions of my life just because I found the girl of my dreams. I would likely try to keep as many group pictures as possible and get rid of the more personal ones.

JoGoSo

Certainly, if there are oiled-up naked pics of ex loves (or even 12-pack ab beach pics), that **** gotta GO. But a pic of a dude at a party? Where's the harm? If she spends more time with her pictures then she does with you, or you notice she takes long, buzz-sound-eminating-from-it showers after looking at them and doesn't come to bed frisky for you, then there's a problem...

:P

Keeping photos of your ex is a no no.

It depends. If she looks at the pics and says "oh those were some good times..." then yes it' s a problem and an insult to you. If she is one of those people that just like taking pictures (i' m not one of them-not like you care but just sayin'...) then it' s not that big of a problem. After all every person you have dated in the past has become a part of your life and pretty much contributed to making you what you are today.

johnd13

+1

My reaction would depend on how many pics of exes she had and her attitude towards them. I've been guilty of hanging onto some naughty pics of exes, but when a relationship becomes serious I delete them.

I don't expect my gf to throw away memorabilia from her past just because we are now dating. I think I would be a jerk boyfriend if I did that.

Yes. If they are sexy pics. I don't give a **** about my ex and frankly I really don't care about that schizophrenic [she was bipolar but oh man the sex was good]. I have some pics of her in lingerie and less that I still have and look at. I will never delete those. No woman can make me delete those, only I can delete those. I don't give a crap if I fall into the slave game of "marriage". I will still keep them. Even when I am an crustyass old man, I will still have them because of the memories of the excellent sex.Hemmaroids

I feel the overwhelming desire to buy you a drink, sir!

:D

Only keep pics of ex-wives/husbands

Is it "okay"? Sure, I guess. Would I want to? Hells no.

If he or she is the mother/father of your children, then no.

It's okay if you're married, since you're already married and she should trust you by then.

As for in a relationship, if it's a new one depending on how cool you guys are; could end up bad. If the pictures were there already like in a facebook album then that's all good(since they were there before the new gf/bf was in your life), but laying around the house... it might stir up trouble/questions.

My GF was showing me a bunch of pics on her laptop, but was turning the laptop to "proofread" some of the photos which she said were just pics of her exes and her. (She showed me some of her ex pics though..) To make a long story short, it made me feel a little Sh*tty and annoyed seeing as we've been in a serious relationship for over a year+ and talk about marriage.. I deleted all the pics of my exes because I don't give a crap about them, I see no reason to keep them except to reminisce, but I think keeping old pics of exes to reminisce in, can hurt your signifacant other and the relationship. I'm going to bring this up to her soon, but before I do, I just want to get some opinions first to help me put together more of an opinion of my own.

racer8dan

It's not a good sign.

[QUOTE="racer8dan"]

My GF was showing me a bunch of pics on her laptop, but was turning the laptop to "proofread" some of the photos which she said were just pics of her exes and her. (She showed me some of her ex pics though..) To make a long story short, it made me feel a little Sh*tty and annoyed seeing as we've been in a serious relationship for over a year+ and talk about marriage.. I deleted all the pics of my exes because I don't give a crap about them, I see no reason to keep them except to reminisce, but I think keeping old pics of exes to reminisce in, can hurt your signifacant other and the relationship. I'm going to bring this up to her soon, but before I do, I just want to get some opinions first to help me put together more of an opinion of my own.

CreasianDevaili

You're a man. She's a woman. Women tend to hang onto things from past relationships. Often cause those things remind them of the things they've learned or was taught. Just because someone is an ex does not mean they were a bad part of that person's life. It also does not mean that she wants to go back and bang them. The woman you love, the one you want to marry, most likely was built slowly over time by those past relationships into what she is today.

The way you want to approach it is cruel and disgusting on the part of someone she thinks loves and accepts her. If you want to actually understand why she still has those pics then you should ask what they mean TO HER. All you seem to be focused on is what they mean to you. You are missing a big part of the picture here. She cannot cut off the past is the past if part of the reason she accepts herself today. What you are doing is showing an utter lack of trust. Dont be so damn idiotic and skip to the lack of trust when you should be trying to understand first.

Answer me this. If you get married and you die for whatever reason would you want her to get rid of every single aspect of your existence reminder? Would you want her to stay alone or go and find someone and be happy again? If so, would you want her to find another man who asks her to burn those couple pictures she had left of you, even though you were a badass husband who did nothing wrong? A husband that helped her grow into a better person?

Or would you want her to go and find someone who trust her enough, loves her enough, to at least talk to her about you and not ask her to be ashamed of an important building block of her life? You are not ready for marriage if you cannot find the wisdom in how to approach your girl over a couple of simple pictures.

1. What are you trying to say? that only women hang on to things from the past? I'm quite sure most people do and it does not matter the gender. Why would you need to have pictures to remind you of lessons learned? I took algebra. I don't need to keep notes and pictures to solve every math problems that involves algebra because that's what memory is for. Everyone was built over time through their experiences. That's no excuse to keep photos of the man she was once romantically and sexually involved with.

2. How is the way he is planning to respond "disgusting and cruel"? Asking in a respectful way why she still has those pictures is cruel? And he isn't focused as to what they mean to him, but what they mean to their relationship. I don't even understand the rest of what you're trying to say by "She cannot cut off the past is the past if part of the reason she accepts herself today." What does this even mean? Do you even know anything about his girlfriend beyond what he has told you? Don't think so, you are creating this whole false story without even knowing anything except what we've been told. And how is asking her such a thing "lack of trust". Lack of trust would be retaining the curiosity in his head instead of outright talking about it with her.

3. How is someone dying the same to breaking up with someone? Why dont you answer all of us that? First off if a female becomes widowed then that means she was STILL in a relationship with that person and its a DEATH ffs you can't compare that to some girl breaking up with her ex. Foolish comparison. Btw not all past experiences generally make you a better person, some actually make you worse.

4.What? I don't even understand what you are trying to say...... Who is talking about him breaking up or making her leave? Where did you get this from? Wisdom? what?

After you get her to delete the pictures, you should also take her somewhere to get her memories of that ex wiped too. Can't have her having anything to with other people now.

Everyones different guy, don't be so quick to judge. I never explained how I was going to approach it, so i'm not exactley sure what's so cruel and disgusting? I can't help that something bothers me, we are all raised different and have different morals and opinions... anyways I'm not gonna go any further into this, all i'm asking for are opinions which you have provided. Much appreciated.racer8dan