11:47 a.m. April 17, 2006.
I was lying (laying?) down on my bed in my apartment in Los Angeles. I had just finished a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and the commercial where coming to a close. As I get up to put the bowl in the sink a clown comes bursting through my room window dual-wielding AK-47s. He picked himself up and ran over to me and slammed me to the ground. The clown began to tell me how he owed money to a local crime lord and they were out for blood. Unwittingly I had been caught in this cross fire. Two men dressed in white coats came somersaulting through the gaping whole that was now my bedroom window.
Strangely enough the clown and the two men exchanged pleasantries before the clown dual reloaded his weapons. With a smile. The two men in white coats dove behind the door that let to the bathroom. Taking cover behind the sink. At this point I was grabbed by the neck by the clown and escorted out of my apartment and down the walkway to his car. The two men in white were in tow. The clown did not take kindly to this. He emptied each clip. Striking one of the men in white in the navel. His intestines were rose colored. His partner came to his aid.
So there we all were in my walkway. The clown griping two smoking guns. The man in white tending to his fallen partner. I stood there in awe at the situation. The man in white looked up, and I will never forget what he said to the clown, "Mr. McDonald, you are off your meds. You been running around playing with children and firing automatic weapons in residential areas. If we do not get you back to the hospital someone is likely to be gravely injured." See, I hadn't noticed it before but I was in the presence of Ronald McDonald. THE Ronald McDonald. Upon hearing this Ronald did one thing. He smiled.Then said, "Don't let me catch your ass near my golden arches again. *****!"
He gave me a happy meal, and drove off.
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